I am not a person who accepts responsibility for my actions well. If I am successful in my pursuits, I am definitely the first to jump up and take credit. When I do fall short of the goal, I have a much harder time claiming the credit. My natural tendency is to come up with 1001 or more reasons why the failure was really not my fault. Failures are rarely my fault, actually.
Chapter 20 of the Rule invites me to acknowledge that it is my tears of repentance and true sorrow that God is looking for in my prayer--not my beautiful words. There is comfort in resting in God's arms laying out my faults and concerns before God. God still accepts me and loves me. God's love is free gift to me everyday.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Ever-Present Divine Presence
At the beginning of Chapter 19 of the Rule, I am reminded that God is everywhere. That can be a daunting thought, especially on the days that I am not at my best and want to hide from everyone especially God. It can also be a real comforting yet challenging thought.
When I was young (about 1st or 2nd grade), I somehow took the idea of God's presence to be something like an invisible companion--yet very real. It was that image that helped me deal with teasing at school over my language (I was still learning English) or my family (my family was very different from everyone else's). It helped me deal with being picked last for the basketball or softball team. It helped me get through life. For me, God's presence was very real and it was what got me through some tough times.
In middle age, I am now trying to recover some of that sense of God's loving presence in my life. I no longer need it for the same reasons; but I do desire to be true to my best self and live in an awareness of God's care and love in my life and in the lives of others. I am slowly learning how to regain some of the wisdom of my past (the wisdom I had as a child).
May God help us all abide in his love.
How has God been present in life today?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
When I was young (about 1st or 2nd grade), I somehow took the idea of God's presence to be something like an invisible companion--yet very real. It was that image that helped me deal with teasing at school over my language (I was still learning English) or my family (my family was very different from everyone else's). It helped me deal with being picked last for the basketball or softball team. It helped me get through life. For me, God's presence was very real and it was what got me through some tough times.
In middle age, I am now trying to recover some of that sense of God's loving presence in my life. I no longer need it for the same reasons; but I do desire to be true to my best self and live in an awareness of God's care and love in my life and in the lives of others. I am slowly learning how to regain some of the wisdom of my past (the wisdom I had as a child).
May God help us all abide in his love.
How has God been present in life today?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Making Adjustments as Necessary
There is a definite wisdom in setting a structure in place but allowing enough flexibility for adjustments or changes as necessary. This format is what the Rule of Benedict provides. After setting up the preferred order for prayer with painstaking precision, Benedict allows the individual communities to make the adjustments that are necessary for their circumstances. He provides us with an elastic structure.
Over 15 centuries later, I can still go to a Monastery during my travels and find some elements of my community's prayer and structure in the host community. It provides a basic unity and universality to our life.
During this Season of Lent, I need to look at the structures that I place around my life. Are they structures that will allow for growth and flexibility? Or, are they structures that can be used to insulate myself against the possibility of change and maturity? Which kind of structures do I want in my life?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Over 15 centuries later, I can still go to a Monastery during my travels and find some elements of my community's prayer and structure in the host community. It provides a basic unity and universality to our life.
During this Season of Lent, I need to look at the structures that I place around my life. Are they structures that will allow for growth and flexibility? Or, are they structures that can be used to insulate myself against the possibility of change and maturity? Which kind of structures do I want in my life?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Order vs Chaos
Since we are in the season of Lent, there are some things that are a little different in the way we live our lives these days. One example is the amount of silence found throughout our house.
During the season of Lent, we try to add an extra measure of silence and physical discipline into our daily lives. I was in a conversation recently with a group of community members from various age groups. We were talking about silence which was much stricter in the past and silence today. It had started with a question about how silence was presented in the past as a community custom as opposed to today.
From the conversation, I gathered that silence in the past was simply assumed. That's the way we do things here. No questions asked. Today, there is a much greater effort to educate about the reasons behind the practice. That helps it make more logical sense--places it in a context.
From this conversation, I learned to value the humility and virtue of those women who were willing to readily lay aside their wills, concerns and questions and simply follow what is done. I pray for that grace.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
During the season of Lent, we try to add an extra measure of silence and physical discipline into our daily lives. I was in a conversation recently with a group of community members from various age groups. We were talking about silence which was much stricter in the past and silence today. It had started with a question about how silence was presented in the past as a community custom as opposed to today.
From the conversation, I gathered that silence in the past was simply assumed. That's the way we do things here. No questions asked. Today, there is a much greater effort to educate about the reasons behind the practice. That helps it make more logical sense--places it in a context.
From this conversation, I learned to value the humility and virtue of those women who were willing to readily lay aside their wills, concerns and questions and simply follow what is done. I pray for that grace.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Monday, February 22, 2010
Here I Am Lord Conference
Please pray for the Here I Am Lord Conference March 4-7, 2010 at St. Patrick Parish in St. Charles, IL.
Our monastic community will once again be represented at this wonderful conference.
Our monastic community will once again be represented at this wonderful conference.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Asking God's Assistance
O God, come to my assistance.
O Lord, make haste to help me.
With these two sentences we begin most of the hours of common prayer. When I first entered our community, I had a difficult time seeing the beauty of these sentences. They are okay but they did not seem to express my state of being consistantly. There had to be better sentences than these to use at the beginning of prayers (nevermind that these sentences have been used for centuries).
Slowly, when I realized that the sentences were not going away anytime soon, I started looking for the beauty within them. This is what I discovered: there is a certain peace in knowing that God is there whenever I call--I am not in this alone. God is always there I just need the reminder sometimes--4 times a day minimum is a good reminder. I do not have to do flashy tricks to catch God's attention...God is already there.
Being a person that usually likes to feel self sufficient and in control, I need to remember sometimes that the whole world does not rely on my and my endeavors. It is comforting to know that God is nearby and to be reminded of it regularly.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
O Lord, make haste to help me.
With these two sentences we begin most of the hours of common prayer. When I first entered our community, I had a difficult time seeing the beauty of these sentences. They are okay but they did not seem to express my state of being consistantly. There had to be better sentences than these to use at the beginning of prayers (nevermind that these sentences have been used for centuries).
Slowly, when I realized that the sentences were not going away anytime soon, I started looking for the beauty within them. This is what I discovered: there is a certain peace in knowing that God is there whenever I call--I am not in this alone. God is always there I just need the reminder sometimes--4 times a day minimum is a good reminder. I do not have to do flashy tricks to catch God's attention...God is already there.
Being a person that usually likes to feel self sufficient and in control, I need to remember sometimes that the whole world does not rely on my and my endeavors. It is comforting to know that God is nearby and to be reminded of it regularly.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Friday, February 19, 2010
Praying Throughout the Day
In earlier times (and still in some communities today), communities gathered seven times daily to pray. This practice is to fulfill the injunction for St. Paul's letter to the Thessolonians to pray without ceasing.
While this concept of ceaseless prayer has intrigued me since childhood, I often find myself wondering what ceaseless prayer would look like in my own life. Would I be found in chapel on my knees 24/7? Would there be a noticeable glow and radiance about me? Would I be more kind, loving and polite? Although I might like to believe so, the answer is probably NO in my case.
What would ceaseless prayer look like for me in my life, then? I would be more aware of God and God's presence in my life. I would be more centered and focused in my relationships. I would be conscious of the gift which God has given me through my life and I would attempt to communicate that more concretely.
Although ceaseless prayer is more an ideal than a reality for me today, I pray for the grace to continue striving for that continuous union in my life. What would ceaseless prayer look like for you?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
While this concept of ceaseless prayer has intrigued me since childhood, I often find myself wondering what ceaseless prayer would look like in my own life. Would I be found in chapel on my knees 24/7? Would there be a noticeable glow and radiance about me? Would I be more kind, loving and polite? Although I might like to believe so, the answer is probably NO in my case.
What would ceaseless prayer look like for me in my life, then? I would be more aware of God and God's presence in my life. I would be more centered and focused in my relationships. I would be conscious of the gift which God has given me through my life and I would attempt to communicate that more concretely.
Although ceaseless prayer is more an ideal than a reality for me today, I pray for the grace to continue striving for that continuous union in my life. What would ceaseless prayer look like for you?
Sr. Catherine, OSB
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