Hospitality to Self

There are three types of hospitality to which everyone is called--hospitality to others, God and self. By far, I have often found hospitality with self to be the most difficult.

Growing up with a sense that since I was older and stronger than my sibs, I was expected to serve others well before I considered myself, it was easy for me to think that my needs were not really all that important. It would amaze my parents that I could actually be generous and gracious with rest of the family helping with tasks and not really complaining much. When it came to self-care and doing things for myself I would be at a loss of where to start or what to do or just didn't have any energy or enthusiasm left.

The situation has not changed much in adulthood. I will spend myself emotionally and physically for others, then forget to replenish my stock.

I need to remember that I need that hospitality for myself first so that I have that base of hospitality from which to serve and love others.

May I remember that there are three hospitalities that are important in life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Hospitality--Accepting All as Christ

Great care and concern are to be shown in receiving poor people and pilgrims, because in them more particularly Christ is received; our very awe of the rich guarantees them special respect. RB80.53.15

Hospitality is one of the monastic values that I took to quite easily as a young Sister. Afterall, I am an extrovert and enjoy spending time visiting with people and making them feel comfortable. In my time in community, I have had various opportunities to practice hospitality and to gain deeper insight into its meaning.

For about 7 years, I was fortunate to work at a social service agency that emphasized the dignity of all people and encouraged all to treat others with equal respect--whether client, staff, volunteer, etc. During my years there I made it a point to try to connect with as many of the regular clients and volunteers as I could. I would try to remember something specific about the person as well we their name. When I saw these people coming to our offices, I made it a point to ask them about whatever was significant about them. Many were amazed that I would recall facts about their lives. For me, it just seemed part of the ministry of hospitality--meeting Christ in the other, no matter what the disguise. I have continued to carry on this habit in my personal life.

How is Christ coming to me today? Who does Christ look like? How can I best respond to Christ in my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Mixing the Generations

What happens when you get people from different generations interacting with one another? What teenager or young adult would find it interesting to spend an evening praying, eating and sharing with religious women and seminarians? These were questions that surfaced in my mind when I was approached by members of the vocations committee for the Church of St. Benedict in Broken Arrow, OK.

Last evening, our community joined with this parish in hosting a Seminarian and Sisters Summer Social which included evening prayer, dinner, games and prizes. Everyone had an opportunity to make new friends and to visit with one another.

Our community was able to show our hospitality in various ways including sharing in an informal interview game that showed how diverse our Sisters are in their interests and personalities.

Benedict envisioned a community that would embrace the old and the young, the weak and the strong, the healthy and the ill. In our day, it is our task to give a face to that spirituality and to Gospel living.

How have I shown God's hospitality to others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Listen to Me

…God loves a cheerful giver. (RB80.5.16)

“Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.” (Henri Nouwen) We have all been baptized in the Spirit and received the breath of God breathing within us. This Spirit prays in us and listens in us to all who come to us with their joys and sorrows. This Spirit allows us to give our full attention to others and welcome them into our very being. This power of God’s spirit listening in us is a healing power. Those who are listened to start to feel accepted, start to take their words more seriously, and start to discover who they really are in the eyes of God.

The listener is truly “a cheerful giver.”

Sr.Veronica,OSB

Becoming Saints

First of all, love the Lord God with your whole heart, your whole soul and all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31; Luke 10:27). Then the following: You are not to kill, not to commit adultery; you are not to steal nor to covet (Rom 13:9); you are not to bear false witness (Matt 19:18; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20). You must honor everyone (1 Pet 2:17), and never do to another what you do not want done to yourself (Tob 4:16; Matt 7:12; Luke 6:31).

Renounce yourself in order to follow Christ (Matt 16:24; Luke 9:23); discipline your body (1 Cor 9:27); do not pamper yourself, but love fasting. You must relieve the lot of the poor, clothe the naked, visit the sick (Matt 25:36), and bury the dead. Go to help the troubled and console the sorrowing. (RB80.4.1-19)

This selection from the beginning of Chapter 4 of the Rule (The Tools of Good Works) sounds a little like a list for an instant saint. Who can actually do all of this??? In 19 verses, Benedict has included the 2 greatest commandments, the 10 commandments, the Golden Rule, and the Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy. Who can reasonably expect to fulfill these directives? And this is just the beginning.

Reflecting on Baptism and the implied call to holiness which is included in the sacrament, we are all called to this kind of living. These are characteristics of who committed Christians are. This is our identity.

How am I living my faith today? How am I being consistent with who I am called to be as a baptized Christian?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Mutual Hospitality

Hospitality takes many forms. It can be welcoming the guest to our home, welcoming the other into our lives, being open to God's presence in our experience, accepting our humanity when it confronts us.

Benedict reminds us that guests are always present--in their many forms. Those of us, who like me, like to service and host others, need to learn to also receive graciously when hospitality is offered to us. I need to remember to be open to God's love and God's indwelling presence and communicate that to others.

During this holy and blessed season, may I continue to find ways to reflect God to others.

Sr. Catherine

Ora et Labora

One of the better known Benedictine mottos is "Ora et Labora" (pray and work). There is much teasing in communities that the day is filled with prayer and work except for the times of eating and sleeping. Many of our older Sisters still remember their times of "recreation" that were filled with needle work, mending, or peeling vegetables--hardly leisure to our 21st century minds.

There is a wholesomeness to working together and praying together. On those occasions when we all do projects together things seem to get done much faster and we get to know one another in a much different way. There are many lessons about community life that can be learned by doing things together--some learn the value of patience, others the trait of compromise, we learn to slow down from the more methodical and to work quickly from the young. We all learn something.

As we approach Spring and Easter, may there be an openness in me to learn something new from every encounter.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

We Are Pro-Life

Sr. Mary Louis spent a few years in our health center. She was unable to walk and at times her mind was a bit confused, but she always kept her wry sense of humor. On one occasion as were praying Morning Prayer it seems everything was going wrong. The organist played the wrong hymn, so we sang the wrong hymn, the choir intoned the wrong psalm, so we prayed the wrong psalm. Finally, Sr. Mary Louis could contain herself no longer, so she blurted out, “I think we should just close our books and go to breakfast, we don’t seem to know what we are doing here.” After the laughter died down, we did just that.

Sr. Mary Louis and other sisters in our health center are the reasons we are pro-life from the time of beginning of life at conception to the time of ending of life at death. Benedict ranked care of the sick above and before all else, so in our Benedictine monastery it is the same. Not only do the sick give us the opportunity to carry out Jesus’s words, “I was sick and you visited me,” and, “What you did for one of these least of my people you did for me,” but they also give us an opportunity to enjoy and rejoice in their wisdom.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

A Special Blessing

Benedict tells us that every type of service in the community is a work as sacred and as sanctifying as prayer. To make sure we do not forget this, Benedict recommends that a blessing be given to those who are about to begin a work of service.

The blessing is not about me or you. It is about the opportunity for each of us to practice unconditional love and to embrace the basic dignity and equality of each person in the community.

Sr.Veronica, OSB

The Enclosure and Stability

Now the workshop in which we shall diligently execute all these tasks is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community. RB 4

After listing all 72 "tools" of good works that are to be desired, Benedict tells us that the place where we get practice in using these tools skillfully is in the enclosure of the monastery and in stability in community. In other words, the place where we become skillful in using these tools is the whatever community setting life has give us--whether it be the family, a friendship, a work team, an office, a classroom, or a monastery.

It is in the sticking through things together, working through our difficulties, being God's presence for one another that we truly learn to be patient, generous, loving and kind. Definitely not what I want to hear on some days, when the last thing I want to be is patient and forgiving (when will others be patient with me), or understanding of someone else's life issues.

It is in that going just one step further that true growth happens for me and sometimes God's grace for me even surprises me.

Which tool do I need to practice using today?

Sr. Catherine

The Golden Rule in Community

When I was younger, I would easily get irritated by the rustling, fidgeting and paper shuffling that always seemed to take place when I was trying to be still and focus and pray. I would spend entire prayer periods just obsessing over what the other persons were doing wrong and how insensitive everyone seemed to be. Hadn't they been taught like I had how to behave in Church...I wondered. If it were up to me there were may ways in which the Prioress could have dealt with all of these little things that irritated and annoyed me so much. I kept thinking that I would know how to handle things if I were ever in charge.

Thankfully, that day has not arrived and I have also matured some since my early days in community. I have come to know and to appreciate everyone of these women and the contribution that they make in our community. Whenever there are some sisters absent, or even just one, the character of our community changes. Today, I can say that I would not want to trade any of our Sisters or their personalities since that is what makes us all unique and make us a unique community.

We are all familiar with some version of the "Golden Rule" which basically states that we should treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. In other words, don't do to another what you would not gladly want done to yourself. In chapter 70, Benedict deals with the presumption of some to brashly correct other's faults. I need to remind myself that I live in a very human community where we all have our share of quirks and idiosyncrasies. If I expect others to be kind, gentle and understand with me as I continue to grow, I need to give that same gift to others in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Classless Community

In a world where there is competition for places of honor and for special forms of respect, the Rule proposes a somewhat classless society. The elders and the young service each other, side by side. The PhD and the high school graduate work together on committees to serve the whole. In our community, even the Prioress can be found scrubing pots and pans along with the novice. This service to community and to one another is essential for building relationships and for recognizing the dignity and the value of work and the worker.

It takes a fair amount of humility to be willing to put on an apron, roll up sleeves and get involved in the "daily" tasks of life...especially for those of us who have spent most of our lives either in a classroom or an office. There is a healthiness and a wholesome aspect of participating in the more mundane events, in listening to the stories shared, in getting to know one another in a new way--without titles, or fascades. As the holidays approach I look forward to spending more time just be-ing with our community.

Sr. Catherine

A New Table Etiquette

When I first entered community, one of the hardest things for me was understanding how mealtimes worked. Not that I had a problem with being a picky eater or with knowing which fork to use; I had more concerns and questions with how to eat slowly and enjoy a leisurely meal. I also did not appreciate small talk or pleasant table conversation. Considering that I definitely like to talk and usually have something to say that was a surprise for some folks.

As I have matured in community, I have come to appreciate story-telling at meal times. I don't panic as much when there are silences during the meal. I can pause to put my fork down for a few minutes between bites and know that it is acceptable--even expected.

Family time around the dinner table is one of the many things that community can show us. We can learn the value to listening politely, serving one another at table and just being present and attentive to the other.

These are all lessons that I would have missed if I had not be willing to learn a new table etiquette.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Be Prepared

RB 53: “The guest quarters (in the monastery) are to be entrusted to a God-fearing brother. Adequate bedding should be available there.”

One activity I enjoy is cooking and making a special meal for the Sisters in the community. I secretly admire women like Martha Stewart who can see what is available in her surroundings and make it into a simple yet welcoming and inviting setting for her family and friends.

We are all called to use our talents where they are needed. Details do matter in making others comfortable, in meeting their needs, whether it is being attentive to the neighbor who always seems to show up right in the middle of making dinner or accommodating the relatives who need a firm mattress and are allergic to feather pillows and wool blankets.

Be prepared. Jesus talked about the servant who was ready to serve the master on his arrival. As my mother would say, always have an angel food cake in the freezer that you can thaw out to serve to unexpected company.

Wisdom resides in the ordinary.

Sr. Marie Therese, OSB

Be Alert

RB 53: “All are to be welcomed as Christ……all humility is to be shown on arrival and departure…”

Last week, I walked into a local sandwich shop for lunch. The young woman behind the counter looked at me and said in a cheerful voice, “Welcome. Can I take your order?” As she prepared the sandwich to my wishes, she looked at me with a smile and said, “Have a blessed day.” This young woman understands the welcome and gift of hospitality by her words and her attitude. The food service industry aims to make people feel welcome. They train their employees to have the attitudes and behavior that convey the message: “We are at your service.” While their motivations may be different, we are followers of the Gospel of Christ as called to no less, but to have the same attitudes and behaviors that welcome the Christ present among us. St. Benedict points out the motivation for us Christians – to seek Christ in all who present themselves to us in our daily lives. We who give our lives in service of our brothers and sisters for the sake of the Gospel are called to welcome unconditionally the greatest and least, rich and poor, the expected and unexpected.

Be alert today as Christ comes to your door. Who will he look like today?

Sr. Marie Therese, OSB

The Work of God

Indeed, nothing is to be preferred to the Work of God. RB 43.3

"The Work of God"...what is the Work of God? How am I invited to participate in that Work?

This phrase is found in the chapter dealing with tardiness or readiness for prayer or meals. It is a chapter that tends to equate what happens in chapel with what happens at the table in our dining room. That is an interesting parallel because at least in our house prayers and meals seem to carry an important connection. When planning our community schedule of events the main question often seems to be when do we pray and when do we eat. We often find ourselves going from the oratory to the table or from the table to the oratory.

Placing prayer and meals together in the Rule seems to suggest that there should be a natural carry over from prayer time to community time and vice versa. In a sense what we proclaim and commit to in the oratory we need to be able to live out in the dining room.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Caring for the Sick

We had the privilege of caring for my mother at home for five years before she died at age 92. Home health nurses took care of her during the day while my brothers and I worked at our jobs. In the evening and on weekends we were in charge. We fed her, bathed her, dressed her, did her therapy with her, and put her to bed. In the morning we did the same, then put her in her wheelchair or her lounge chair for the day. These were such enjoyable times for us. Mom had such a great sense of humor and every day she had new stories to share about her childhood, and the colorful characters she took care of in nursing homes where she worked for more than 20 years. At least 3 or 4 times each day she had us praying the Rosary with her.

Caring for the sick can teach us so much about how to live and how to die. Perhaps this is why St. Benedict says: “Care of the sick must rank above and before all else, so that they may truly be served as Christ, for he said, I was sick and you visited me, and What you did for one of these…you did for me.”

Sr. Veronica, OSB

On Service

At Senator Ted Kennedy’s memorial service his nephew told this story about him. He said that when Kennedy was running for the Senate the first time, his opponent criticized him for having never worked a day in his life. A steel worker stopped Kennedy during his campaign and said, “I hear you have never worked a day in your life.” And Kennedy told him no, he had never really had a job and worked like most people. The steel worker replied, “I’ve worked all my life and I want you to know that you haven’t missed a thing.”

St. Benedict would never agree with the steel worker. Serving one another is the work Benedict calls us to do. This serving one another fosters love and builds up the community. If we don’t work at serving one another, we have missed the whole purpose of our Benedictine life.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Distribution of Goods

“Necessary items are to be requested and given at the proper times, so that no one may be disquieted or distressed in the house of God.” RB 31

Benedict makes it clear that although one member of the community is in charge of the distribution of goods (supplies, linens, even food), there is to be no withholding goods on a whim, no power plays to prove “who’s in charge.” The one who distributes what the community members need is to do so with all humbleness and with an awareness that ultimately it is God who will judge his or her motives.

Of course, the same goes for each of us – our motives may appear to be well-intentioned, but it is God who knows our mind and heart and reads our motivation for everything we do. Arrogance, passive aggressive behavior, or laziness are not excuses when it comes to doing what others rely on us to do. It is how we serve God – through serving one another.

Sr. Christine, OSB

Care of Goods

“…regard all utensils and goods of the monastery as sacred vessels of the altar.” RB 31

Benedict directs this statement to the monastic in charge of the community’s temporal goods, however, it is a practice the entire community embraces. The kind of stewardship Benedict expects is far beyond our present-day “throwaway” mindset.

Throughout the Rule, Benedict expects his followers to do even the smallest deed well and mindfully. Special care is to be taken with material goods, utensils and tools are to be inventoried regularly and amends are to be made if something is broken through carelessness or neglect.

If Benedict expects this kind of care for worldly goods, how much more he must expect us to care for one another!

Sr. Christine, OSB