The Strongest Kind of Monks

Most will tell you that one of the best things about Community Life is the people. They might say that one of the most difficult things about Community Life is also the people. It's not that our communities, teams, or families are filled with challenging personalities...it's more that in interacting with others I can begin to see pieces of myself reflected back. I begin to see areas of necessary growth and places where I can stretch a little further for the other.

This growth and stretching though necessary are not usually easy experiences. I remember being very hesitant about confrontations when I was a new community member. I would roll issues over in my mind for days, weeks or months rather than say anything. Then I realized that if I didn't do anything about the little issues then I would not have the practice needed for handling bigger matters. The first couple of times were uncomfortable for me but slowly I learned how to address issues more maturely. I have grown and my relationship with others has been strengthened.

This is probably why Benedict call cenobites (those who live in community under a Rule and a Superior) the strongest kind of monastics. It is in learning to interact daily that we mature and are strengthened.

Preparing for the Race

...we must run and do now what will profit us forever. (RB80.Prol. 44)

I am very competitive and I am generally successful in competitions. For me, my success is mostly luck rather than skill and training.

When I was younger, the thing that distinguished me from being a good student and a superior one was the amount of time and effort placed on studying. If I could get an A by listening, guessing well, and knowing how to talk or write myself out of any difficult question--why bother studying? Consequently, I would get the A's but not the A+s, which unfortunately held the scholarships and great prizes.

Now, I am being faced with running and putting into practice those principles which will eventually profit me in the end. Running sounds a little too sweaty and strenuous for me. I would much rather consider the requirement and slowly put them into practice after much sincere consideration. Obviously, that is not Benedict's plan. What are the practices to which he is alluding here? They are God's commands from before: seek peace, love good not evil, be sincere, always have the truth in my heart, and seek God. Can I live by these? The way to show that I am willing to live by these is to make an immediate change with God's grace. It will not be easy but it can be done.

I pray always to be willing to follow God's plan for me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preparing for the Battle

I am a pacifist at heart. I do try to put on a strong front and a tough exterior many times but I really do believe and pray for peace daily. So, then, how do I deal with the military language that is presented at the begining of the Rule? After all, with words like truce and battle most true pacifists would probably have stopped reading the Rule by now, right?

The battle that we are preparing for is the struggle against our ego, our self-will, our dark side, the sin in our lives. That can feel like an internal war at times. I know that although I am basically a good person and strive to do the right thing, there are times when the wrong thing or the mediocre thing seems more appealing because it is the easiest or the most comfortable. Sometimes I might choose the wrong thing just because I am tired or don't really care that day. That is part of being human.

I still strive though to grow daily. That requires vigilance, training, focus and goal setting so that I know how to be prepared at the time when I need to make a quick choice. So it is not so much that I want to do battle and enjoy the military imagery but that there is a real battle going on against myself and toward God.

I do want to be part of that war so that at the end of my life I can look around and find myself with my community at God's side.

Sr. Catherine

Fear of the Lord

Fear of the Lord seems to be foundational to the development of wisdom. I am very familiar with fear. After all, growing up I had fear of: the dark, the sounds animals made in the canyons, being forgotten or left somewhere, crowds, gangs, falling,...fear, fear, fear. I had so much fear that at times it paralyzed me.

The fear that Benedict is talking about in "fear of the Lord" is not that type of fear. It is not a fear that binds me to my imagination and the confines of myself but one that opens up possibilities and frees me for life. This fear, in my mind, is similar to awe, reverence, and wonder. It is a sense of who God is, who I am in God's presence and who I am not. It is finding God everywhere.

I pray for the ability to always see God in life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Yearning for Life

Seeking his workman in a multitude of people, the Lord calls out to him and lifts his voice again: Is there anyone here who yearns for life and desires to see good days? (Ps 33[34]:13) If you hear this and your answer is "I do," God then directs these words to you: If you desire true and eternal life, keep your tongue free from vicious talk and your lips from all deceit; turn away from evil and do good; let peace be your quest and aim (Ps 33[34]:14–15) RB80.Prol. 14--17

Today's reading gives us the image of God standing on a mountain top calling out, seeking to attract followers. God's invitation to us is: do you long for life and desire to see good days? God, then, waits for a response.

My initial response is something like: Duh?? Of course, I do. After all, who wouldn't want the fullness of life? I know for sure that I want to experience everything to the fullest fo I am ready to sign up.

Before I get to far along, God puts forth the requirements for this life. I am to turn away from evil and deceit, practice peace and make that a way of life. I am to live a moral life that follows God's law. These requirements are steep but I desire to follow. I pray that God will continue to bless me along this path.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being Roused From Sleep

Let us get up then, at long last, for the Scriptures rouse us when they say: It is high time for us to arise from sleep (Rom 13:11). (RB80. Prologue.8)

I am definitely a morning person....but not a hyper morning person. There are some who jump out of bed as soon as their eyes open and they meet the day at a run. There are some of us who despise mornings entirely. Some, like me, prefer to ease into the morning. It is generally best that no one see me for the first hour or so after I wake up or, at least, until I have plenty of coffee in my system. I love to take my time in the morning--shaking off sleep and easing into the day; before I jump into the day.

This verse from the Prologue resonates with me because I am familiar with the time just after waking when it takes me a few minutes to understand that someone is speaking to me. I wake up in a fog of sorts that requires some time to disolve. In a sense, Benedict is saying that we all live in that foggy stage of half-sleep when we are searching for God in all the wrong places...or just searching for meaning in our lives. The Prologue calls us to shake off the last bit of sleep and turn to face God and the sun/Son today and everyday.

May I always be awake to God's presence in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Weapons of Obedience

From the very beginning, Benedict points to the importance of obedience in the life of a disciple. He contrasts the eagerness of obedience with the sloth of disobedience which has caused the person to drift away from God, however slightly. Benedict calls the new monastic to return to God through the labor of obedience and by picking up the weapons of obedience to do battle for Christ.

I am reminded in this passage of a scene from my family. My parents and grandmother are amazing workers and have had to work hard most of their lives. Yet, they had a difficult time passing this work ethic to the children in our family. My parents were used to doing what needed to be done at home without needing a reminder or having things pointed out to them. My siblings and I, however, were quite happy to jump over the full laundry basket, let the water boil dry on the stove or let the dishes pile up on the counters--as long as these things did not directly infringe on whatever we were doing. My parents tired of asking us to do various tasks and having us answer, "In a minute." My parents usually ended up doing the task themselves. It wasn't that we were trying to be disobedient on purpose; we just did not understand why the tasks were so important right then.

As I have grown, I have awakened to many of those lessons that my parents tried to teach me in vain. I actually was listening on some level; just never quite got around to putting obedience into practice.

Today, I am called to practice obedience with my whole heart daily.

Sr. Catherine, OSB