A Matter of Will

Today we begin the Prologue of the Rule once again. We are back at the beginning for another cycle of reading and study.

The question posed today by the reading is: Willingness or willfulness--which of these would best characterize my personality and my life? Although the root word is the same, there a distinct difference between the two concepts. Willingness implies an openness that offers a possibility for change and growth. Willfullness connotes a tendency toward doing my own will--sometimes to my detriment. The will itself is a good but it is the way that I choose to use it that can makes the difference.

There are times in my life that have been highlighted by both. As I begin this new round,

• am I willing to listen to God's voice inviting me to open my heart to the possibility for growth or am I choosing to cling to my own way of doing things?


• am I willing to follow my community's way of doing things even when my own particular method seems to be more efficient?


• am I open to the possibility that others around me might have a fuller vision of life and wisdom or do I insist on maintaining my own views, opinions and attitudes?

Today, as I begin this new reading of the Rule, may I be open to the possibilities of growth that are presented to me through life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Running Away or Running Towards?

Do not be daunted immediately by fear and run away from the road that leads to salvation. RB80.Prologue.48a

But as we progress in this way of life and in faith, we shall run on the path of God's commandments, our hearts overflowing with the inexpressible delight of love. RB80.Prologue.49

I enjoy moving at great speeds...so it is no surprise that this image of running found in the Prologue has always intrigued me.

Benedict presents me with the option of running away from this way of life. Running away in fear, in distress, in dejection from thinking the road too strenuous before even starting the race (Afterall, it is still the Prologue). Benedict also considers running towards God, towards fullness of life, towards love.

Which will I choose?

• I choose to run away everytime I let my fears or fantasies rule me.
• I choose to run away when I consider community and relationships not worth the effort even for one hour.
• I choose to run away through looking for distractions in my day to take me away from the dailiness of life.
• I choose to run towards God whenever I remember to pause and acknowledge God's presence with me--I am not in this alone.
• I choose to run towards life in doing things that improve my quality of life.
• I choose to run towards love in my relationship building and my communication skills.

May Christ truly bring us together to have a share in God's kingdom.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Using Grace

What is not possible to us by nature, let us ask the Lord to supply by the help of his grace. RB80.Prologue.41

Realizing that human nature will often fall short, Benedict invites us today to ask for God's grace to help in the accomplishment of good deeds.

No matter how sincere my intentions, the fact still remains that I often fall short. Six days into the New Year and I have already restarted my resolution to "listen" at least once daily. It is only through asking for God's grace and relying on it that my intentions and resolutions will ever bear fruit.

What am I doing today to remind myself to rely on God's providence and grace?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

New Year's Resolutions

I generally avoid making New Year Resolutions or setting concrete goals...mostly because I am not fond of accountability and I tend to see things in extremes so the potential for failure if not perfect is terrifying. Who wants to start the year making promises that you know you will probably fudge on before the 1st week of the year is complete?

This year I decided to do things a little differently. I would make just one resolution...it would be one word long and is supposed to be one of the key elements in my life today. My resolution for 2011 is to LISTEN. Listen to God's Word in my life, listen to those around me, listen to God's stirrings in nature, maybe even listen to myself and my body.

Listening is more than the physical act of hearing. It is a choice to pay attention and to stay with the message being delivered. Listening requires my full presence because it is easy to miss a piece of the message if I am distracted. It asks me to put aside what I already know or think I know and open myself to a new perspective.

Listen is the first word of the Rule of Benedict and needs to be an essential value in my life and in my relationships.

How am I listening to God's voice today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Fiddling One's Energy

It is high time to arise from sleep. (Prologue. 8.14)

When I was in college, one summer several of us juniors and seniors lived in a house in the city. A single mother with 3 teenage daughters lived across the street. The mother and the two older girls worked every day, but Teresa the youngest was left at home alone. Teresa thought it was great fun hanging out with us college girls. Most of us enjoyed having Teresa around; she was always happy and always working on some project, but one of our classmates could not tolerate Teresa. One day she told her to go home because she was always causing her to sin—in other words, Teresa was bugging her and she told her that if she didn’t come around, she would probably never have to go to confession. We were all pretty upset about the situation. But, Teresa did not stop her visits.

Our classmate was spending all her energy resenting and letting Teresa bug her.

Benedict tells us to wake up, to open our eyes and ears, to listen to the voice of the Lord speaking to us through every person and situation, to spend our energy n learning to live the monastic life. We fiddle our energy away by trying to solve all the problems in the community and trying to handle all the problem people in the community. It is so much easier to fiddle our energy on others rather than fight my own self so that I may love my sisters and my community just as it is.

Let us fiddle our energies to lectio and prayer time.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Obedience & Prayer

Listen carefully…to the master’s instructions…(Prologue to Holy Rule. 1.8)

In the opening words of the Holy Rule, St. Benedict invites us to enter into a dynamic way of relating to God and to one another. The hallmarks of this dynamic method are obedience (listening) and prayer. This is the cost of growing in spiritual freedom—giving up our personal freedom. What an incongruity in a society that makes a god of personal freedom!

But Benedict’s invitation is an invitation to more personal freedom. If we allow ourselves to be formed by the wisdom of Scripture, by the wisdom of tradition and by the wisdom of our monastic ancestors, we can learn our own will, we can express our own will and we can learn to give up our own will.

Let us arm ourselves with these strong and noble weapons—obedience (listening) and prayer—and enter into this dynamic way of relating to God and to one another.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Preparing for the Race

...we must run and do now what will profit us forever. (RB80.Prol. 44)

I am very competitive and I am generally successful in competitions. For me, my success is mostly luck rather than skill and training.

When I was younger, the thing that distinguished me from being a good student and a superior one was the amount of time and effort placed on studying. If I could get an A by listening, guessing well, and knowing how to talk or write myself out of any difficult question--why bother studying? Consequently, I would get the A's but not the A+s, which unfortunately held the scholarships and great prizes.

Now, I am being faced with running and putting into practice those principles which will eventually profit me in the end. Running sounds a little too sweaty and strenuous for me. I would much rather consider the requirement and slowly put them into practice after much sincere consideration. Obviously, that is not Benedict's plan. What are the practices to which he is alluding here? They are God's commands from before: seek peace, love good not evil, be sincere, always have the truth in my heart, and seek God. Can I live by these? The way to show that I am willing to live by these is to make an immediate change with God's grace. It will not be easy but it can be done.

I pray always to be willing to follow God's plan for me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preparing for the Battle

I am a pacifist at heart. I do try to put on a strong front and a tough exterior many times but I really do believe and pray for peace daily. So, then, how do I deal with the military language that is presented at the begining of the Rule? After all, with words like truce and battle most true pacifists would probably have stopped reading the Rule by now, right?

The battle that we are preparing for is the struggle against our ego, our self-will, our dark side, the sin in our lives. That can feel like an internal war at times. I know that although I am basically a good person and strive to do the right thing, there are times when the wrong thing or the mediocre thing seems more appealing because it is the easiest or the most comfortable. Sometimes I might choose the wrong thing just because I am tired or don't really care that day. That is part of being human.

I still strive though to grow daily. That requires vigilance, training, focus and goal setting so that I know how to be prepared at the time when I need to make a quick choice. So it is not so much that I want to do battle and enjoy the military imagery but that there is a real battle going on against myself and toward God.

I do want to be part of that war so that at the end of my life I can look around and find myself with my community at God's side.

Sr. Catherine

Being Roused From Sleep

Let us get up then, at long last, for the Scriptures rouse us when they say: It is high time for us to arise from sleep (Rom 13:11). (RB80. Prologue.8)

I am definitely a morning person....but not a hyper morning person. There are some who jump out of bed as soon as their eyes open and they meet the day at a run. There are some of us who despise mornings entirely. Some, like me, prefer to ease into the morning. It is generally best that no one see me for the first hour or so after I wake up or, at least, until I have plenty of coffee in my system. I love to take my time in the morning--shaking off sleep and easing into the day; before I jump into the day.

This verse from the Prologue resonates with me because I am familiar with the time just after waking when it takes me a few minutes to understand that someone is speaking to me. I wake up in a fog of sorts that requires some time to disolve. In a sense, Benedict is saying that we all live in that foggy stage of half-sleep when we are searching for God in all the wrong places...or just searching for meaning in our lives. The Prologue calls us to shake off the last bit of sleep and turn to face God and the sun/Son today and everyday.

May I always be awake to God's presence in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Weapons of Obedience

From the very beginning, Benedict points to the importance of obedience in the life of a disciple. He contrasts the eagerness of obedience with the sloth of disobedience which has caused the person to drift away from God, however slightly. Benedict calls the new monastic to return to God through the labor of obedience and by picking up the weapons of obedience to do battle for Christ.

I am reminded in this passage of a scene from my family. My parents and grandmother are amazing workers and have had to work hard most of their lives. Yet, they had a difficult time passing this work ethic to the children in our family. My parents were used to doing what needed to be done at home without needing a reminder or having things pointed out to them. My siblings and I, however, were quite happy to jump over the full laundry basket, let the water boil dry on the stove or let the dishes pile up on the counters--as long as these things did not directly infringe on whatever we were doing. My parents tired of asking us to do various tasks and having us answer, "In a minute." My parents usually ended up doing the task themselves. It wasn't that we were trying to be disobedient on purpose; we just did not understand why the tasks were so important right then.

As I have grown, I have awakened to many of those lessons that my parents tried to teach me in vain. I actually was listening on some level; just never quite got around to putting obedience into practice.

Today, I am called to practice obedience with my whole heart daily.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Light of Life

"Run while you have the light of life, that the darkness of death may not overtake you" (John 12:35). (RB Pro. 13)

I have been a huge fan of light all my life. To say that I was terrified of the dark as a young child would be a major understatement. I just never knew what might be hiding in dark corners and I was not the least interested in finding out.

Benedict placing light/life, darkness/death as parallels, we are given an interesting and graphic comparison. I long to run with the freedom which brightness and light seem to call forth, what are the places within me which still hold me in the bondage of darkness and fear? What new growth is being called forth within me?

Sr. Catherine, OSB