On Wandering Through Life

At the door of the monastery, place a sensible old man who knows how to take a message and deliver a reply, and whose age keeps him from roaming about. RB80.66.1

Then, there will be no need for the monks to roam outside, because this is not at all good for their souls. RB80.66.7

There are days when I am particularly anxious to find a distraction in my life...any distraction is fine, just something to relieve my boredom, make life interesting or amuse me when I really do not want to deal with the present moment. Benedict seems to be familiar with something similar occuring is his community. In setting up the role of the porter (receptionist at the door), Benedict clearly states twice that wandering, roaming around, or looking for distractions are not highly value qualities.

Benedict seems to say that this desire to escape the dailiness of life can be a sign of immaturity and is not helpful to the health of the soul. If I keep running away everytime something is difficult, then I am probably impeding my own growth--growth in holiness, growth in maturity, growth in virtue. I am never discover my true potential. I may miss many opportunities to both realize my own weakness and vulnerabilities and my inner strength.

I am a person who rarely wants to miss out on new adventures. If I can learn to focus on the potential for new experiences when tempted to run away and find something more interesting, I will see even the painful or the mundane as opportunities for greater growth and success.

When tempted to go through life hopping from distraction to distraction I need to remember to stop and ask myself: What new opportunity for growth am I trying to avoid.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Being Content

The sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given... RB80.7.49

Although chapter 7 in the Rule is one that has always held my interest (mostly because it gives a new perspective to a somewhat unappealing virtue for which to strive), I cannot say that this particular passage is one of my favorites. Actually, I would rather read right past it most of the time.

I do not generally act graciously when offered the worst treatment available. Actually, I usually rebel and complain to anyone and everyone who will listen to me. I also have great difficulty regarding myself as a substandard participant in creation. After all, wasn't I taught growing up that I was just as good as everyone else? So what is the new insight to which Benedict is inviting me?

Maybe it is a reminder that everything is not always going to be fair or go my way. There will be bumps in the road, especially in dealing with others, and I am not always going to be on top...so learn to deal with it as graciously as possible (don't whine). I need to remember that while I am not always on top, I am not always on the bottom either; I'm usually somewhere in the middle and that is okay. That is the reality, be okay with it.

How am I dealing with the daily realities of life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Respecting Silence

...there are times when good words are to be left unsaid out of esteem for silence. RB80.6.2

When visitors first come to our house they often comment on how quiet and still our home seems to be. Our monastery can be considered an oasis of sorts from the hectic world.

Chapter 6 of the Rule invites us to consider the virtue of silence or restraint of speech. Although Benedict acknowledges that there appropriate times and uses for speech, he also points out that there are occasions when even good words are to be left unsaid. Since I am a person who is very comfortable in the world of speech, I am invited to consider situations when words that are true might better be left unsaid for the sake of charity or compassion.

• I do not have to speak every thought that passes through my mind. Sometimes my initial reaction or response to something new or different may be harsh and might hurt another.
• There are situations when information must be held until the appropriate time. If there is a surprise party being held for someone, I really do not want to be the person who spoils the secret.
• I may not have all the information necessary to be able to speak adequately on a topic.
• I might be wiser to hold my comments until I have had some time to think through the plan and any consequences.
• As true and sincere as the words might be, not everyone needs to know what is passing through my mind.

I need to learn to filter my speech with charity and compassion. I need to remember to ask myself: Is this something that really needs to be said?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Way of No Fun

Step 1 in the Steps of Humility (RB80.7.1-30) could lead me to believe that the life I have signed on for is going to be one of boredom and drudgery. That is definitely not what I have in mind for my life.

Even after 25 years in our community, I know that a ultra regimented and disciplined life with no adventure and challenge is not for me.

On reflecting on this first step of humility, I find a life that calls me to remember who I am and who God is. I am called to acknowledge the truth that I do not have the full picture of myself (much less of the universe) but God does. I am invited to recall God's care and all-knowing presence. This presence which can be both comforting (at least someone understands all of me) and challenging (there is no hiding from God). I am called to place God and God's will into my daily life.

Although this is the not life I envisioned in my early 20s, monastic life and community have brought me to a very fulfilling way of life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Speaking & Teaching—The Master’s Task

The tongue holds the key to life and death. (RB80.6.4)

Why is it that our tongue betrays our actions so often? We forgive one another with words, but not actions. We say thank you with words, but not actions. We say we are happy with words, but not with our actions. It seems our words come too soon and we are not yet living what we are saying. We give double messages—one with our words and one with our actions. We are called to be a sign of God’s living presence in the world. What we live is much more important than what we say. The right way of living always leads to the right way of speaking.

Benedict was on the mark when he called for so much silence in the monastery. Silence enables us to get our living and speaking in tune.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Authenticity and Humility

Sincerity, Authenticity, Integrity, Truth...if I were asked to give four adjectives for the best qualities of humility these would be them. I have always wanted to possess these qualities within myself and hope to be acquiring them as I mature.

SINCERITY--Being who I say I am. Being the same person in every circumstance.

AUTHENTICITY--Being myself (my best self) with confidence.

INTEGRITY--Having my insides match my outside person--similar to sincerity. Natural

TRUTH--Being aware of my belief system, who I am, what I value and being strong in that.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

In Humility...Freedom

When I can get to a point where I feel comfortable enough with who I am to be myself, I get glimpses of true humility. I am not generally a person who would be considered shy, but there is a brief period for me when am a little cautious about being myself.

Step 7 of Humility speaks a little to that ability to be totally oneself and transparent in every situation. I long for the freedom to be able to be the same in all circumstances--not to use the filter of other's thoughts or opinions as much as I use truth and honesty as a guide. Of course it needs to be truth and honesty tempered by love.

As I prepare for the upcoming season of Lent, I will look for ways to grow in this aspect of humility as I prepare with eager longing for the joy of Easter.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Spiritual Companioning

Many people are not fortunate to have "truth tellers" in their lives. I am truly fortunate in that I have at least three, possibly as many as five, "truth tellers" in my life.


These are women who know me very well and who care about me and my well being. They know me better than even my own family knows me in some instances. They are persons who have seen me at my best and at my worst and are still okay with me. They will sometimes tell me what I would rather not hear but need to know. They are also the ones that I go to when I want the real truth about things because I know that they will be honest with me. They know that I can yell and cry and be very angry at times but will eventually listen and at least consider the validity of what is said.


St. Benedict advocates this type of relationship in the 5th Step of Humility when he asks his followers to lay their thoughts open before a spiritual elder. This type of relationship is rare in life and highly to be treasured.

Who are the "truth tellers" in your life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Humility--More Than A Feeling

When I was a young Sister, we had a chaplain who would tell us regularly that love was more than an itchy feeling around the heart. We heard the statement over and over again and even made jokes about it. Slowly, though we began to grasp the meaning behind the words...love is much more a decision than it is a feeling of any sort. It is a way of life.

Recently, when I was reflecting about humility, I realized that humility is more than just a feeling or sense that I am less than everyone else, that I am the bottom of the totem pole, or a door mat. Humility is more about being confident in the truth about who I am (my creaturehood) in relation to God and the rest of creation. If I am truly humble, I do not have to be right every time nor do I have to be wrong every time. I do not have to be perfect or look perfect. I can be a work in progress and commit myself everyday to growth and progress. I can also be confident of my place in the universe.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Keeping Silence

Many times my mind and my mouth do not seem to belong to the same person. I seem to lack a filtering device that stops me from blurting out the very first thing that comes to my mind. There are times when my tendency toward honesty and sincerity comes in conflict with basic politeness. I need to remember to take a few seconds to think before I speak. Just enough time to weigh the possible consequences of my words.

For example, when someone asks me how I am doing, is the person asking to be polite or do they really what to know about the pain in my right knee and my migraine. If someone does something radically different with their hair would it be better to not mention the new orange frizz or to say something like--"What do you do to your hair?" When someone makes a mistake in public is it better to point it out right then or to wait until later or not mention it at all?

These are all part of my learning process with silence and the use of words.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Truth and Deceit

In this section from the Tools of Good Works (RB 4), there seems to be some preoccupation with truth and deceit. We are admonished not to give a false peace, to speak the truth from the heart and not to perjure. All of this advice seems pretty common sense at first, after all, weren't we all taught not to lie and to try to be honest?

On closer inspection the emphasis is not so much on the truth and the deceit as on the heart (the person) that would consider this behavior acceptable. Benedict is calling us to be our best selves, to surround ourselves with models of good behavior and to follow the lead. He seems to emphasize that no matter who I was or what I did yesterday today is a new day and it can be different...radically different if I but remember to be true to my best self.

How are we being called to be our best selves today?

Sr. Catherine

A Wise Companion

I am reminded of the saying: "Misery loves company." when I read Chapter 27 of the Rule.

Once a person's behavior has caused separation from the community, it is very easy to either fall into deep dispair about the situation or to become even more defiant and try to find allies within the community...causing greater division. What Benedict suggests is for the superior to allow one person to encourage the wayward back into the community. Care must be taken that this is not going to be a misery party. Therefore, the companion must have an adequate amount of maturity not to become part of the problem.

This companion or senpectae is to act as a truth teller to the wayward. We all need people in our lives that care about us enough and that know us well enough to be able to challenge us into growth. I am fortunate to have many friends that have done that for me in my life. The truth tellers in our lives are our truest friends.

May I always be willing to hear and open to the truth presented to me by those wiser than me.

Sr. Catherine

Having Our Minds in Harmony with Our Voices

...and let us stand to sing the psalms in such a way that our minds are in harmony with our voices. (RB 19.7)

I have always longed to be a person of integrity. A person who says what she means, acts on her principles and has no real separation between thought, word and deed. This image is an ideal, of course. As much as I would like to be totally in sync with all my actions it will probably never occur in my lifetime.

St. Benedict, however, provides a method for me to be a person of intergrity in at least one area off my life--prayer. In his instructions on prayer in this chapter, I find a key to being totally myself before God at all times. The key is humility.

May I always remember who I am before God in prayer.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Ready Laughter

…he is not given to ready laughter… (RB 7.59)

Everyone loves a good joke. A healthy sense of humor is a valuable thing to possess in life—especially when I start taking myself too seriously or start thinking that everything in life should center on me.

At our monastery it is not uncommon to arrive at meal time and find lots of conversation and banter…and, yes, even quite a bit of laughter at times. I don’t think that Benedict would object to healthy laughter and sharing.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Who is God?

…It is a blessing that you have humbled me so that I can learn your commandments (Ps 118[119].71, 73) (RB 7.54)

Sometimes I forget that God’s name is not Sr. Catherine, Catherine, Cath, SCath, Katrina or any of the other versions of my name to which I respond. To say that I am a little bossy and dominating would be an understatement—although I blame that on being the oldest in my family growing up.

At these times, I need to be reminded that God is God and I am created by God. This passage from Psalm 118 reminds me to keep my focus on God and on God’s law. It is truly a blessing to keep in mind God’s presence and to realize that no matter what happens in the world God is truly in charge.

And all is secure because thankfully I am not God.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Hiding the Flaws

…Make known your way to the Lord and hope in him (Ps 36[37].5). (RB 7.45)

Have you ever tried to hide a mistake, a failure or a personal flaw from someone? I have.

I found that the more I tried to hide or ignore the flaw the more glaring it became. It could have been a tiny hole in the knee of my new jeans (which grew bigger the more I tried to patch it), a favorite lamp that got broken (and I tried to glue back together…with a few pieces missing), or the new pasta dish I made and tried to cover the mistakes with gallons of tomato sauce and cheese. In the end, it would be much simpler to acknowledge the problem and deal with it.

The fifth step of humility invites me to recognize that there are still areas that I need to work on and to remember that God and others will still be by me as I continue to grow. All I need is honesty and hope. Hope in God’s mercy and forgiveness. Trust that others will be there for me when I ask them to even if I am not fully perfect yet.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Life Guides

The third step of humility is that a man submits to his superior in all obedience for the love of God…(RB 7.34)

“May I become your disciple?” the seeker asked.

“You are only a disciple because your eyes are closed. The day you open them, you will see that there is nothing you can learn from me,” the holy man answered.

“Then what is a master for”? the seeker asked.

“The purpose of a master,” the holy one said, “is to bring you to the point where you know the uselessness of having one.”

I know I have been taking directions all my life. God has placed guides in my life to give me intellectual, social, emotional, physical and spiritual direction. Admitting that I need direction and accepting it has all been part of growing up. I don’t believe I will ever grow up enough to see the uselessness of these guides. Through them, God has given me a confidence in myself, the power to control myself and the insight to guide others.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Being Holy

Do not aspire to be called holy before you really are, but first be holy that you may more truly be called so. (RB 4.62)

I grew up in a family that encouraged “looking good.” If we could not be perfect and well put together, we were encouraged to at least try to look good. And I learned the skill of “looking good” well.

How does that measure up against Benedict’s invitation to first become holy rather than striving to be called holy from appearances only? Benedict seems to realize that it is much more important to be sincere and authentic in life than to “look good.” It is much tougher to be holy throughout my whole self.

I am called to strive to be who I truly am every moment of every day.

Sr. Catherine, OSB