Falling Down and Getting Up Again

As the Apostle says: Do you not know that the patience of God is leading you to repent (Rom 2:4)? And indeed the Lord assures us in his love: I do not wish the death of the sinner, but that he turn back to me and live (Ezek 33:11). (RB80.Prologue.37-38)

I am very grateful that my personal salvation does not rely on myself and my own efforts. That reality is brought back to me day after day when I reflect on some of my personal choices and realize that taken by themselves (without God's mercy and grace) there are many times that I totally miss the mark.

It's not that I spend my days committing grave sins or harboring hatred and malice in my heart. It is much more a case of letting my own laziness or self-will get in the way of me being the person that I was created to be...my best self. There is definitely a measure of self-awareness that reminds me to turn back to God and the right road before I stray too far. That is a gift of God's grace to me. I resolve after each misstep to make a new start and to work at strengthening my commitment.

There is a story from the Desert Tradition (of Early Monasticism) that tells of a person asking an elder what the secret of life is. He explains that it is found in falling down and rising again as many times as it takes. The point is to continue getting up; no matter how difficult or discouraging it may seem. I can find some comfort in this saying since it implies that it is not perfection that is sought in life but a willingness to continue growing and moving along the path. I can do that much. I need to rely on God's grace and on the fellow travelers on the journey to help me get to the goal.

That is both heartening and humbling since I have to accept that fact that I cannot do this on my own strength. What am I doing today to help myself or others along the road of life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB