In proposing the structure (order) for the community, St. Benedict requires that those who assist the leader in administration be someone who possesses: a good reputation, a holy life, and a degree of wisdom in teaching. In other words, the person in this role needs to be an example for the rest through life and teaching. This seems like a reasonable expectation.
Having been invited to accept various roles in community over the last 26 years, however, I am constantly humbled and awed by the fact that anyone would ever consider me to possess the potential for even minimal leadership...because I am well aware that whatever example I have given to others through my life it has not always been the one I would want others to follow.
I tend to see myself much more as human than holy. I have quirks and habits that often seem more like glaring neon signs rather than small flaws or minor blemishes of character. I've spent many years asking to either be relieved of these habits or at least for the grace to be able to diminish them to a more reasonable level. I try to capitalize on the positive qualities that I find within myself.
During these days of Lent, when I try to focus more intentionally on developing a more virtuous life, I pray for the grace necessary to bring to fruition my lenten resolutions.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Lenten Check Up
Two days into Lent and I am already looking for a way out! That can be considered a pretty sad statement on my spiritual journey or an acknowledgement that I still have plenty of areas to work on in life.
Since today is Friday it is designated as a day of silence throughout the house. That sounds like a good idea unless your ministry happens to require that you interact with our employees throughout the day. I need to remind myself that I need to leave my voice in my office--preferably at my chair. Today has been extra tricky since we have had workmen in the house, employees needing assistance, phone calls throughout the morning, and training on how to complete payroll correctly. It feels a little like trying to live two lives at once--me as a monastic and me in ministry.
Maybe I need to adjust my perspective so that I can focus on the growth rather than areas of deficiency. Given this attitude then the smile to the guest or the kind word to the co-worker can offset my sense of failure. It is the spirit of initial resolution that is of more consequence than the actual adherence to the exact letter of the resolution.
Wishing all a Lent filled with the joy and expectation of the great feast of Easter.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Since today is Friday it is designated as a day of silence throughout the house. That sounds like a good idea unless your ministry happens to require that you interact with our employees throughout the day. I need to remind myself that I need to leave my voice in my office--preferably at my chair. Today has been extra tricky since we have had workmen in the house, employees needing assistance, phone calls throughout the morning, and training on how to complete payroll correctly. It feels a little like trying to live two lives at once--me as a monastic and me in ministry.
Maybe I need to adjust my perspective so that I can focus on the growth rather than areas of deficiency. Given this attitude then the smile to the guest or the kind word to the co-worker can offset my sense of failure. It is the spirit of initial resolution that is of more consequence than the actual adherence to the exact letter of the resolution.
Wishing all a Lent filled with the joy and expectation of the great feast of Easter.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Monday, February 20, 2012
Lord, Have Mercy on Us
Today's selection from the Rule of St. Benedict (Chapter 17) invites us to look towards God and ask for mercy throughout the day. Chapter 17 is towards the end of Benedict's extensive section on the order of daily, community prayer. Three times during this chapter (vss 4, 5, 10), St. Benedict asks us to remember the reality and depth of God's compassion for us.
This call for God's mercy seems appropriate as we prepare for the great season of Lent. I am called throughout my day to visit those places in my life where I might not be as open to the experience of God's presence in life. There are many times (sometimes daily or hourly) when I need to have these reminders of my need for God in my daily encounters.
It is not an exaggeration to state that apart from God my accomplishments, successes or endeavors have very little value. It is only through God's grace that I am able to do and be who I am. In this awareness, I am sent out to show others that same forgiveness, love and mercy which I have so generously received from God.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
This call for God's mercy seems appropriate as we prepare for the great season of Lent. I am called throughout my day to visit those places in my life where I might not be as open to the experience of God's presence in life. There are many times (sometimes daily or hourly) when I need to have these reminders of my need for God in my daily encounters.
It is not an exaggeration to state that apart from God my accomplishments, successes or endeavors have very little value. It is only through God's grace that I am able to do and be who I am. In this awareness, I am sent out to show others that same forgiveness, love and mercy which I have so generously received from God.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Love of God Which Casts Out Fear
Chapter 7 of the Rule of Benedict finishes with the assertion that once all of the steps of humility have been reached then the person would live a life of good action out of a desire for virtue and love of God which casts out fear.
In the earlier stages on the ascent, the image is of a person who performs some right deeds not out of love for the good but out of fear of punishment and judgment by God. At this point, I might perform virtuous actions but mostly out of fear of incurring the consequence of my bad deeds (not out of virtue). After going through the 12 steps of humility and putting them into practice (somewhat), I now find that I actually look for opportunities to be virtuous, out of my awareness of God's presence and love in my life. Now I live a life of virtue for the sake of the good. My previous discipline has started to pay off.
This sounds like an ideal. Since I will never outgrow the steps of humility, how can I maintain this desire to do the good out of an awareness of God in my life?
In the earlier stages on the ascent, the image is of a person who performs some right deeds not out of love for the good but out of fear of punishment and judgment by God. At this point, I might perform virtuous actions but mostly out of fear of incurring the consequence of my bad deeds (not out of virtue). After going through the 12 steps of humility and putting them into practice (somewhat), I now find that I actually look for opportunities to be virtuous, out of my awareness of God's presence and love in my life. Now I live a life of virtue for the sake of the good. My previous discipline has started to pay off.
This sounds like an ideal. Since I will never outgrow the steps of humility, how can I maintain this desire to do the good out of an awareness of God in my life?
- Develop the habit of keeping connected to God throughout the day. Practicing the Jesus Prayer. Having short conversations with God at odd times during the day.
- Remaining committed to daily examination of conscience (at end of day) and morning offering of day.
- Watching my thoughts as they arise so that I can better direct my day towards God.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Speaking Gently
In Chapter 7 of the Rule of St. Benedict, restraint of speech is mentioned four times. Why would speech be an important aspect in the process of humility?
I am a talker. There are not many times when I am found with little to say. Actually, speaking is probably one of the things that gets me in trouble the most in life.
In trying to determine where the connection between speech and humility lies, I am reminded of a comment that was often shared with me about speech when I was younger. Others often commented that when I command the stage by sharing my thoughts about everything it gives little opportunity for me to learn from the experience of others. In a sense, if I am constantly speaking but never really listening, I am both depriving myself of hearing a new perspective and cheating the other person of a chance to share part of their wisdom. I need to remember that I am not expected to have the answer to all of life's issues and questions.
I pray today for the grace needed to be a good listener in life.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
I am a talker. There are not many times when I am found with little to say. Actually, speaking is probably one of the things that gets me in trouble the most in life.
In trying to determine where the connection between speech and humility lies, I am reminded of a comment that was often shared with me about speech when I was younger. Others often commented that when I command the stage by sharing my thoughts about everything it gives little opportunity for me to learn from the experience of others. In a sense, if I am constantly speaking but never really listening, I am both depriving myself of hearing a new perspective and cheating the other person of a chance to share part of their wisdom. I need to remember that I am not expected to have the answer to all of life's issues and questions.
I pray today for the grace needed to be a good listener in life.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
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