Not Always Getting My Way

One of the things I came to expect growing up was to get what I wanted most of the time, if not all of the time.  I was an only child for over 10 years--10 years between my brother and me and over 15 years between my younger sister and myself.  I got used to being either the only one or so much older than the rest that I usually got my way.

Today's reading on the 2nd step of humility (RB7) invites me to consider laying down my will and desires in favor of someone else's wishes.  I have had opportunities to learn how to do this throughout my adulthood, of course...and it has been a challenge at times.  I have had to work on learning to assess the importance of some things and letting the less important issues just drop.

1. Not getting to choose the game that my group plays on our "game night" is pretty minor.  As long as everyone is able to participate and have a good time it's okay to play one of my least favorite games once in a while.
2. Not always being first in line at meals is pretty minor also...there is usually plenty of food for everyone to get some.
3. I don't always have to get the final say in everything.  I do have a responsibility though to support fully whatever decision the whole group makes.  I usually have plenty of opportunities to voice my opinion on matters but once a course is taken I need to be willing to adjust to the decision of the group.

Over the years, I have learned to lay down my wishes for the good of the group.  I don't always have to get my way.  I need to remember to rely on God's will and the guidance of the Holy Spirit when I find myself wanting to demand that things be done according to my plan.

How am I growing in letting God's will rather than mine be evident in my life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Enclosure and Stability in Community

At the end of the listing of the Tools for Good Works (RB 4), St. Benedict tells us that the place where these tools which are enumerated are used is in the enclosure of the monastery and in stability in community.  These are the training grounds for the use of these tools....tools of charity, of compassion, of forgiveness, of patience, just to name a few of the tools listed.

I love St. Joseph Monastery (my Monastery) and my community. When I travel I am usually ready to come back home within a few days and get homesick quite easily.  I am always grateful to return and carry our community in my heart even when I am at a distance.  Yet, there are times when the enclosure and the stability spoken of here seems a little less than appealing.

So, why does Benedict seem to consider enclosure and stability so vital to these tools and practices?

1. For Practice: Some of these tools do not come naturally to me, for me some of these skills are going to require prolonged practice and very conscious effort.  I need the assurance that even when I am learning these life lessons and might not always get things perfectly there will be a group there still waiting for me as I progress along this life.
2. For Encouragement:  There are going to be tough hours, days or weeks along the path when I would much rather give up than keep working with these tools.  I need a supportive network of friends and peers that will help me keep going when quitting seems like a good idea.
3. For Role Models:  I learn best by example.  I need folks in my life who have gone through some of the challenges I encounter before me. I need their insight, wisdom and presence along the way.

We all need a supportive communitythrough which to learn essential life lessons.  I am grateful for those who are models of life for me and strive to be a good model for others.

How am I being called to be a model for others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Persevering Until Death

The Christian journey is meant to be one of growth, conversion, and transformation until we reach the final goal, union with God in heaven.  All three of which require focusing on the goal and perseverance for the duration (neither of which is a characteristic which comes to me naturally).

Growth, in this context, is the openness to see life from a new or different perspective.  It is considering the possibility that there may be other ways of doing things, other modes of being, other views on life.  Maybe, I really don't have all the answers, as much as I would like to believe that I do.

Conversion involves being open to change, any kind of change.  I would consider myself to be a risk taker in most areas of life.  I like the excitement of trying something new.  What I have realized recently though is that the more important or valued something is the harder it is for me to be willing to consider change in that area.  I am not one to reframe a core value lightly.

Transformation invites me to be formed anew, to become like plyable clay that can be reshaped easily yet still remain essentially clay.  Transformation can be exciting and scary at the same time.  It is exciting because there is a newness and boundless new opportunities available.  It is scary because it is venturing into the unknown--What if I don't like the new shape that I will take on?  What if it is uncomfortable or unfamiliar?

The conclusion of the Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict invites me into a life that daily involves growth, conversion and transformation.  How willing am I to embrace these three aspects of life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Dashing Temptations Against Christ

At the beginning of this new year (2013), I can say that 2012 was an amazing year for me in growth, health and blessings.  Early into 2012, I realized that although I was successful, confident and content there were definite areas that I wanted to work on during that year and some changes that I wanted to make...I just wasn't sure how this would happen or if I was willing to put forth the effort that it would take to enable these changes to take effect in my life.

I started preparing for change in February and by March was pretty convinced that I was on the right path.  The rest of the year was about transformation, work and health.  Changing some old patterns and forming new habits was just the beginning. The harder work has been the process of embracing these new ways of being and allowing them to more fully be incorporated into my daily life.  It has been great AND it has been tough at times.

In the Prologue, St. Benedict invites the disciple to root out old, unhealthy (or sinful) patterns and thoughts and to cast them against Christ.  I have found myself going back to this verse often this year as I have worked on creating this new life plan.  As old habits or familiar thought patterns have tried to creep back into my life or when I am tempted to just totally give up since things seem to hard, I remind myself to call on Jesus or quietly say a short prayer (like the Jesus Prayer).  Just the reminder that I am not alone in this process is often enough to keep me going a little while longer.

May God bring all of our good works and intentions to a beneficial completion.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Desiring Life and Good Days

Today's image from the Prologue of the Rule has God standing before a multitude calling out the question: Who is the one who will have life, and desires to see good days? (Psalm 33[34].13 paraphrase)  This invitation to live the fullness of life is one that has attracted me for years.  I would be the first to state that I love life and long to embrace it fully.  (I have never been known to be a fan of half-measures...I am usually fully committed to totally disengaged.)

I would be the first to jump up and accept God's invitation to life.  God also provides advice on how to live the life which is being offered.  The requirements are pretty basic:

• be a person of integrity--speak the truth from my heart, be consistent about who I am, be honest with myself and others;
• stay away from evil and follow the good when I encounter it;
• seek peace (in all aspects of my life) and pursue it.

These are all things which I have known most of my life.  All of these are connected to all of those socialization skills and life lessons learned growing up.  If this is so basic and such an intrinsic part of life, then why do I often find myself needing to remind myself about my commitment to life? 

What am I doing today to reenforce this commitment in my daily experience?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Listening: A Total Person Experience

The opening verses to the Prologue of the Rule, invite the person to listen with the ear of the heart.  When I first heard this phrase as a junior in high school, I was intrigued by the concept of my heart having ears.  I remember trying to get a visual image of what this phrase might mean--and not being very successful.  It was however one of the things that stuck with me from my first encounter with The Rule and monasticism.

I was passing through our library recently and a book cover caught my attention.  It was a caricature of a monk whose right ear was about the size of an elephant's ear.  He looked like he would be a good rival to Dumbo.  This character had his right hand cupped around his ear to allow him to hear better.  That image stayed with me and brought me back to reflecting about this intense listening to which Benedict invites me.

This listening involves being fully engaged with God, with others, with experiences, basically with LIFE.  Everything and everybody can be a teacher and a messanger of God's grace if I am open to the gift offered.  There is a lesson to be learned everywhere if my eyes and my heart is open to the new learning. 

For me, listening with the ear of the heart means being alert and ready to follow God's call wherever that may lead.

My New Year's Resolution for 2013:  being alert to God's grace and blessings in my life no matter where they may lead.

How are you listening to God today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB