Aiming at Fairness

The abbot, however, must always bear in mind what is said in the Acts of the Apostles: Distribution was made to each one as he had need (Acts 4:35). In this way the abbot will take into account the weaknesses of the needy, not the evil will of the envious...RB80.55.20-21

Growing up in a family that did not always have lots of extras, I remember waiting for Friday payday when our family would go grocery shopping and possibly get our weekly supply of treats-- either candy or chips or soda (whatever it might be). I trying to make sure that I made at least as many trips to the fridge for snacks as everyone else did so that I would not miss out and have to wait until the following Friday. I wanted a system that provided equality for all. I was always quick to notice when someone else might be getting more than I thought I deserved.

In this chapter on the needs of the individuals, Benedict is quick to acknowledge that there can be occasion for potential rivalry. This tendency is possible whether in a family, a team, an office or a community. Basically, in any situation where more than two persons are working together, the temptation for comparisons can exist.

Benedict refers back to a passage from the Acts of the Apostles which tried to curtail this tendency. This reference describes the original community as one where everyone could feel assured that their needs would be addressed and no one would have to suffer excessive lack. This model sounds great but is very difficult to live.

In my present life, I try to assess within myself whether a request I make might be coming from a real need or just a whim or a desire to have exactly what everyone else has (whether I need it or not). Navigating the fine distinction between needs and wants can be tricky--but can be done if I remain self-aware and pay attention to where my desires and motivations are coming from. Is this something that will encourage my growth or just something that happens to catch my eye because it is new and exciting?

How am I living my life today aware of my needs and motivations?

Sr. Catherine, OSB