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Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Wannabe Monastic

When I first entered community, I had dreams and illusions of what life in the monastery would look like. Everyone would always be kind and polite, no one ever raised their voice, there was perfection everywhere I would turn. I seemed almost like heaven on earth on one level. I did not take long for me to realize that my image of life was just an illusion and that real life in the monastery was just that real life.

I would still be bringing myself and my quirks and my struggles with me. Those things that had been issues before the monastery would still probably be issues for me. I would still have times of frustration as I realized yet again that the only person in life that I could change was me--and that is only if I wanted to change.

The one thing that community offered me was an opportunity to look at myself more closely with no real chance for escape. There is a little bit of the sarabaite (the monk that wants life on his/her own terms) in all of us. Community provides us with the opportunity to be still and open our minds and hearts to the possibility of change and growth.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

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