The Lenten Check Up

We are ending Lent at the same point as when we started. On Ash Wednesday, we began the Season of Lent looking at what would bring us closer to God in our lives. Today, as the Season of Lent ends, I can look over the past weeks and see where I have grown, been faithful and where my resolutions faltered.

I always seem to start Lent with promises of huge growth and great progress on my spiritual journey. Fact is, most of my Lenten resolutions rarely make it much past the First Sunday of Lent. I do remember to get up and try again everytime that I fall short. The wonderful thing about Lent is that it reminds me that I cannot save myself, no matter how hard I try. That is why I need the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus. Where I am unable to help myself, God has been gracious enought to save me through the Death and Resurrection of his Son.

As I reflect on the events of Holy Week, I pray for a greater awareness of God's Love for me and for us all.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

DIVA GIRLZ

Last Friday evening, Monte Cassino School, in Tulsa, held their annual bingo night. Since we have outgrown our facilities for this event, bingo night was at the Greenwood Cultural Center. Since transportation was needed for the event, five of our Benedictine Sisters travelled in style--in the DIVA GIRLZ PARTY RIDE. Above are a few photos. The Sisters who participated in this were: Sister Catherine, Sister Eugenia, Sister Mary Michael, Sister Maria Paula, and Sister Jacinta. Sister Christine and Sister Marie Therese also attended but were in a separate vehicle since they were required to serve pizza.

All enjoyed the experience.

Sister Catherine, OSB

Ora et Labora

One of the better known Benedictine mottos is "Ora et Labora" (pray and work). There is much teasing in communities that the day is filled with prayer and work except for the times of eating and sleeping. Many of our older Sisters still remember their times of "recreation" that were filled with needle work, mending, or peeling vegetables--hardly leisure to our 21st century minds.

There is a wholesomeness to working together and praying together. On those occasions when we all do projects together things seem to get done much faster and we get to know one another in a much different way. There are many lessons about community life that can be learned by doing things together--some learn the value of patience, others the trait of compromise, we learn to slow down from the more methodical and to work quickly from the young. We all learn something.

As we approach Spring and Easter, may there be an openness in me to learn something new from every encounter.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Praise To the Bell Ringer

Monasteries need bells and bell towers. In our recent renovation of the Monastery, we finally got a bell tower with 3 bells. Before then, we still had bells but they were small bells that were jangled by hand at specific hallways and stairwells so that sound could travel.

Our new bells are much more sophisticated. They are in intricate computerized system which has to be manually reset anytime there is a change in schedule. A very intricate process that makes us grateful for Sister Maria Paula who is responsible for the bells everyday.

It is an important task to be the bell ringer because it means that that person is responsible for seeing that everything is done in timely manner and that schedules are followed. Many rely on the sound of the bell to tell them where to go next. After filling in for the bell-ringer for a few weeks, I definitely had a new appreciation for the tasks involved in that.

Thank you, Sister Maria Paula for being such a conscienscious person.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Choosing A Wise Friend

I am a person that likes to think aloud. I always need a sounding board to do my best thinking. The same goes for spiritual growth and insight with me. Without a wise spiritual guide, I am lost.

It is very important that I seek out trustworthy friends with whom to share my spiritual growth, insights and concerns. St. Benedict acknowledges the value of these people in community when he speaks of those who know through experience how to heal wounds and hold confidences. Friends like that are invaluable. I am fortunate to have many models of the monastic life in my own life.

I am grateful for the example of all the great women who have gone before me in this way of life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Accepting Mistakes

It is so easy to pass the blame when things do not go the way I want them to, the way I expect them to, or the way they should. Whenever something goes wrong in my life, big or small (usually small), the first thing I do is look for a place to attribute blame. Who was not doing their job? Surely, it wasn't that I screwed up.

This morning for the second time this week I woke up, just as the bell was sounding for Morning Prayer (that means 5 minutes to be there or be late). Of course, I spent the first 3 minutes berating fate for making morning come so early. Then, as I was scrambling to get dressed, I found my scape goat for today. It must have been that the medication I took last night made me so groggy that I forgot to get up when I turned off my alarm clock. I must have turned off the alarm and gone directly back to sleep. It would have been so much easier to just admit that I did not want to get up in the morning and had turned off the alarm rather than hit the snooze. It would have been easier but then I also would have to take some of the blame and accept once again that I am human. That calls for humility.

Daily I pray for the courage and humility to be able to accept that I do screw up sometimes (that's part of being human). It is not the end of the world but it is part of my reality.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Being Received Back

We all have times of pulling back a little from community; times of feeling that we need to reevaluate who we are and why we are part of the team. I know that there have been times like this in my life. St. Benedict provides a directive on how a person is to be accepted back into the group after a time of distance or isolation. The answer is INVOKE PRAYER for the person being received back.

About 13 years ago, I went through a period where I had definitely lost my focus. I could hardly tell you why I had entered the Community much less why I was staying and what my monastic goals were. It was a difficult time and the Community offered me a way to refocus and re-enter our life if I chose to take it. At the time, it definitely did not feel very loving but somehow I knew that there was wisdom in taking the time to pray and refocus my life. After about six months, I returned from the experience much stronger than before. The one thing that kept me growing through that whole time was prayer--my prayer and the prayer connection I had with the Community. I grew alot during that time, especially in my appreciation for Community and the bonds that exist among us.

I pray daily for the grace to continue growing and learning how to apply the Rule in my life daily.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Taking What is Offered

I enjoy eating. And although I was a somewhat picky eater growing up, I am not a very picky eater now but I do have my quirks.

St. Benedict spends time listing what the consequences are for being late for meals, leaving early and refusing what is offered (Chapter 43). Although the actual consequences seem a little harsh in our time, the premise behind the punishment still holds true. Benedict is trying to order the daily meals so that it does not become a total free for all.

When I lived at home, I had the luxury of being a picky eater. When I moved from home, though, my parents reminded me that that was about to end--or I might go very hungry sometimes. My first night at the monastery was my eating nightmare. The menu included: liver and onions, mashed turnips, gravy, and brussel sprouts. It was definitely an eating test for me. I made it through dinner though and learned that I could put up with lots of things if I had a larger motivation.

Looking back 26 years, I am sometimes amazed at how big that first night seemed. There is wisdom in Benedict's thoughts on order and meals. There does need to be a basic standard from which to begin looking at the norm.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preferring Nothing to the Work of God

Nothing, according to Benedict, is to be put before or ahead of the work of God.

That causes me to pause because I am a project/task oriented person. If I am right in the middle of a project, I can tend to see the bells toll for prayer or meals as an interruption rather than a gentle reminder of prayer time or meal time. Sometimes, I have a difficult time seeing that community's intrusion into my plans might actually be a blessing.

Benedict's directive to drop whatever we are doing and heed the bell's call is meant to remind us to keep life in perspective. There is no project that I am working on that is more important than community needs. My work will still be waiting for me when I return.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Night Silence

Sound, noise and words are my friends. I was definitely born to talk and am always looking for aural stimulation. It is not unusual to find me in the evenings working in front of a tv set or with a radio, cd, or ipod going. Despite all of this love for sound, I also have a specially affinity for night silence.

Growing up, I learned to love silence by waking in the early mornings to the sound of my grandparents praying a rosary or an early morning novena. I would get up quietly and sit in the corner as they prayed and began their daily chores. Even now, on sleepless nights, I enjoy just lying there feeling God's presence envelop all of us and protect us. It is somehow comforting for me to begin my day with a fair amount of silence. (My preference in life is not to speak until at least my second cup of coffee.)

In the silence, I get to know myself better; I become aware of what is happening within me and can focus on my true responses to the outside world. It helps make me a more complete person. Although many would be surprised about my fondness for silence, I cannot image a life without those periods of quiet.

Sr. Catherine

No Justifiable Grumbling

Benedict spread power and authority in the group or community among many. He was aware of the many uses of power and was careful to assure that it would be used well. Benedict also placed a flexibility in the Rule which allowed for individual circumstances to be evaluated and adjustments made as necessary.

In Chapter 40 of the Rule, Benedict advices that no cause for "justifiable grumbling" be presented to the community. Benedict knew the danger that exists when people begin to question or grumble against the norm. Grumbling and bickering can destroy a team or family from the inside. Benedict also knew that there were occasions when grumbling could be considered justifiable--as in situation of exploitation of power or true injustice. Benedict puts the burden of assuring that this does not exist on the superior (abbot, prioress, boss, coach).

This assurance that no cause for justifiable grumbling also is addressed to me because on some level I am or will be in a position of authority. I need to pray for the wisdom to see any authority as service to others rather than tyranny. This perspective will allow me to be able to remember to listen to the team members rather than do everything my own way.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Moderation Is the Key

Benedict always advocated the middle road in all things. Where teachers before him had proposed severe fasts and abstinance, Benedict chose to travel the way of moderation. Not too much food...not too little. Food to sustain the body for the work to be performed...not as an end in itself.

In our world that is very image and body conscious, Benedicts insight is like a breath of fresh air. We do not need to obsess over every ounce, drop, calorie or gram but we do need to be aware of ourselves and our needs. Benedict reminds us that while on the road of moderation to remember that over indulgence is also to be avoided.

Sr. Catherine

Counter-Cultural Living: Table Reading

Monastic communities have long had a tradition of reading at the table during one of the daily meals. The material read differs from community to community and the length of the reading time may vary but for the most part monastic communities continue this tradition of reading during a meal to this day.

In our community, we read the first ten minutes of dinner during the week unless it is a special feast day. During that time, we are fed intellectually and spiritually as we are fed physically. Ideally the material read will serve as a conversation starter at our tables. It helps stimulate our imaginations and gives us all a common platform from which to speak.

Although I was a little hesitant about the value of this reading when I was younger, I have come to appreciate this brief time of daily silence. There have been lots of good conversations and sharing that has happened through this practice of reflective reading.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Old and The Young

One of the things that appealed to me about Monastic Communities when I was first considering religious life was the multigenerational aspect of our life. The young and the old interact freely together and amazingly the young and the older learn from each other. This appealed to me because I grew up in a multi-generational family.

Growing up we were fortunate to always have at least one grandparent living with us and coming from a family with lots of aunts and uncles there was always someone young around. Those of us that were young learned to respect the wisdom of the elders. We learned traditions and culture from them and we loved to hear stories of how life used to be. The older folks made life interesting for us.

The older folks, on the other hand, were always interested in what the young had to say and in what our ideas were. They wanted to know what made life work for our generation and they always had time to play games with us.

In this interaction between the young and the old, we learned naturally to be flexible, to have a sense of humor and to honor differences. I think that St. Benedict knew about this dynamic and was striving to instill it into his communties. I value this aspect of my life.

May God continue to make me sensitive to the needs of the older and to the insights of the young.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

We Are Pro-Life

Sr. Mary Louis spent a few years in our health center. She was unable to walk and at times her mind was a bit confused, but she always kept her wry sense of humor. On one occasion as were praying Morning Prayer it seems everything was going wrong. The organist played the wrong hymn, so we sang the wrong hymn, the choir intoned the wrong psalm, so we prayed the wrong psalm. Finally, Sr. Mary Louis could contain herself no longer, so she blurted out, “I think we should just close our books and go to breakfast, we don’t seem to know what we are doing here.” After the laughter died down, we did just that.

Sr. Mary Louis and other sisters in our health center are the reasons we are pro-life from the time of beginning of life at conception to the time of ending of life at death. Benedict ranked care of the sick above and before all else, so in our Benedictine monastery it is the same. Not only do the sick give us the opportunity to carry out Jesus’s words, “I was sick and you visited me,” and, “What you did for one of these least of my people you did for me,” but they also give us an opportunity to enjoy and rejoice in their wisdom.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

A Special Blessing

Benedict tells us that every type of service in the community is a work as sacred and as sanctifying as prayer. To make sure we do not forget this, Benedict recommends that a blessing be given to those who are about to begin a work of service.

The blessing is not about me or you. It is about the opportunity for each of us to practice unconditional love and to embrace the basic dignity and equality of each person in the community.

Sr.Veronica, OSB

Comic Relief

Years ago when I entered the monastery the table servers of the week had a very important role of service. All meals were served family style, so after the prayer, the young sisters who were usually the servers, brought the trays of food to each table. Every meal provided some kind of embarrassment for the young sisters and comic relief for the community. I know most of the stories are true--many a bowl of mashed potatoes or gravy was served in the Mother Prioress’s lap; many a glass of tea or cup of coffee stained the white tablecloths, the sound of many a tray of dishes dropped echoed in the silent dining room, and many a young sister’s habit revealed the meal’s offerings and had to be changed after the meal.

The buffet line has taken away the table servers and the comic relief, but Benedict reminds us that the dining room is the place where everyone serves one another in love, and where everyone is accountable for the cleanliness and care of the goods used there.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

My Acre of Land

God gives each of us an acre of land in his domain. We are to make this acre of land into a holy ground, the same kind of ground Moses stood on before the burning bush where he spoke to God. In making my acre into a holy ground fertile and fruitful, I may need one tool, a hoe, some nutrients and some water. But my sister may need not only a hoe, but because of some weakness, she may also need someone to help her turn the soil. She may need someone to give her instructions on how to use the nutrients and someone to carry the water.

Benedict insists that we all need to ask for and be given those tools we need to make our acre of land a holy ground. Those of us who need fewer tools should thank God and those of us who need more tools should be humble enough to accept them. None of us should notice the differences.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Just Passing Through

A traveler was passing through a Russian village whose rabbi was renowned throughout the land for his holiness. So he stopped by to see the holy man. He was shocked to see how bare and stark the rabbi’s room was. It had only a wooden table and stool, at which the rabbi sat prayerfully reading the scriptures. “Rabbi,” the traveler asked, “where are your possessions?” The old man looked upon the stranger and replied, “Stranger, where are yours?” To which the stranger answered, “Rabbi, I don’t have any with me, I’m only passing through.” The rabbi smiled and said, “So am I.”

We, like the traveler and the rabbi, are just passing through, so we don’t need anything of our own, as Benedict tells us. All things should be in the common possession of all, so that no one presumes ownership of anything. This simplicity of lifestyle frees us for all God’s surprises.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Spirituality and Housekeeping

Do my clothes fit? Are they clean and pressed? How about my shoes, are they in good repair and do they shine? And my desk and my room, are they orderly? And the tools I use, do I use them properly and keep them in good condition? Benedict proposes that our care and use of the tools and goods of the monastery are as important as our prayer and meditation and should be treated with reverence and concern for others. Our management and housekeeping habits are essential aspects of our journey to holiness. These habits ultimately symbolize our ongoing conversion and commitment to God and to one another in this “school of the Lord’s service.”

Sr. Veronica, OSB

No...A Kind Word...The Best Gift

Some days we think the prioress and her assistants are suffering from “No-itis.” For every permission we ask, the answer is “No.” “No” is that 2-letter word that is so difficult for some of us to say and so difficult for some of us to take. But “No” is probably one of those kind words that carries a special gift. Benedict agrees that sometimes the answer must be “no.” If I have so many tasks I really don’t have time to do another, when someone asks me to take on something else, I should say “no.” It is better to say “no” than to grumble about all I have to do. If I have three suits hanging in my closet, and ask for a new one, the cellarer should say “no;” if I ask to go out to dinner three nights in a row, the prioress should say “no”.

Benedict reminds us that we have a responsibility to each person in the community, a responsibility to serve one another in generosity of spirit. And, on those occasions when we forget our responsibility, “no” is the kindest word and the best gift we can receive.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Regarding Goods As Sacred Vessels

“I hadn’t planned on it.” This was Sister Hermana’s reply when my friend and I asked if we could get a Sunday paper. We were spending a weekend in a cabin on the lake and had no access to the Sunday morning comics. We didn’t get that paper, but that was okay. Sister Hermana was our purchaser for many years. She was like Benedict says, “a parent to the whole community.” She not only regarded the utensils and goods of the monastery as sacred vessels of the altar but also regarded each person in the community as a sacred vessel.

She had her idiosyncrasies. She was about 6’ tall and drove an old green International truck that needed a coat of paint and an overhaul. We could always hear and see her coming. She was the bane of the business office; she never seemed to get her bills in on time, nor balance her petty cash fund. And when going got tough and everyone was looking for her, she would head out to visit her friend Mrs. Brown for the afternoon. She liked to think things over before making a decision and sometimes her decisions were long in coming. She loved to travel the back roads of Oklahoma and enjoy the small towns along the way and visit with the people. She never got in a hurry.

Sister Hermana was a model for all of us. She was as Benedict describes the cellarer: a wise, mature, humble, frugal, God-fearing woman and oh, so human.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

She May Bear Fruit

As any gardener will tell you, good soil is essential to a good garden. And the common garden tool every gardener needs is the common garden hoe. Hoeing the garden allows the nutrients of the fertilizer to be absorbed into the soil. Hoeing keeps the weeds under control and keeps the soil moist. Hoeing breaks up the hard crusts and allows the soil to breathe life-giving oxygen. The gardener knows that hoeing keeps the soil in good condition so that whatever is planted there will bear fruit.

Benedict recommends that we need to create this same kind of good soil in forming minds and hearts of the persons of every age and level of understanding in the community. It will take a lot of hoeing and using every tool we have. Loving and listening with the heart are tools that may work with some, while counseling and confrontation may be necessary with others. But the common tool in formation is always prayer. God’s life-giving grace can do what our tools cannot do.

These Lenten days are hoe days for turning over the soil of our soul garden, for reworking the soil of our vocation, for weeding out selfishness and greed so that generosity may bloom.

Welcome Home

The prodigal son parable plays out in every family, even the Benedictine community family. We can identify with each son. Like the first son, there is a bit of yearning to take our inheritance, leave the family and make our own way in each of us. And like the second son, there is a bit of self-righteousness and resentment in each of us. Benedict, like the merciful father in the parable, tells us to welcome back those monks who, like the prodigal son take their inheritance, leave the family and set out on their own.

Welcoming back a sister who has left to find her own way is a time for a deep conversion of heart. It calls for forgiveness from each of us and a welcome echoing God’s gracious mercy and joy. On occasion we have welcome home days for all of the sisters who have left our family.
These days are always days of forgiving and rejoicing.

Let That One Depart

Every principal of a school knows that one of the most difficult decisions she will ever have to make is to expel a student from the school. But when all the punishments and counseling sessions with the student and her parents, and the prayers of all have made no impact on the student, and she still refuses to amend and grow, the principal has no choice. She must ask the student to depart so as to provide the kind of environment for others to grow in goodness.

So important is growth in holiness in community life to Benedict that sometimes, he too must ask a monk to leave. If a monk refuses to grow in community virtues, to be a blessing to others, to be open to blessings from others, then Benedict says…”let that one depart.”

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Carrying the Stray Back to the Flock

Jesus sends us two invitations: an invitation to union and to service. He invites us to dwell in his presence and then go forth to share the gifts we have received. We really have only one call--to receive and share God’s love. Sometimes this call involves taking a serious risk to pursue and share God’s love. We may have to climb a sycamore tree like Zacchaeus did, just to see and meet the Lord, or we may have to be hanging on a cross like the good thief Dismas was, just to see and meet the Lord. And sometimes we may have to leave our comfortable niches and go out and find a lost pilgrim on the road and place her on our shoulders and lead her back to the flock, so that she can see and meet the Lord once again.

These are the serious risks Benedict tells us we must be ready to take to support a wavering member of the community. Are we ready to climb that tree, or hang on that cross, or carry that lost one back to the flock?

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Healing Takes Time

Unlike the rich man in the Gospel who could not leave his riches behind, St. Katharine Drexel, whose life we celebrate today, had no trouble using her riches to serve God and those poor in spirit. Katharine inherited a substantial fortune and founded the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament to work among African and Native Americans. Our Oklahoma schools, hospitals and Indian Reservations were blessed by her fortune. In her early 40s, Katherine suffered a heart attack and spent the next 20 years in prayerful retirement.

Katharine knew healing takes time, and Benedict knew this too. He knew that a person who was trying to work through a situation, to recommit herself, and to gain a new perspective, needed an environment of prayerful retirement. He encourages his monks not to meddle, to agitate nor distract a monk in prayerful retirement by conversing with them or sending them messages.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

The Time-Out Chair

If you are a follower of the cartoon Dennis you are aware that Dennis spends many an hour in a time-out chair facing the wall. This seems to be his punishment for almost any kind of offense. He is banished to a corner, isolated from everyone. He cannot see anyone; he faces the wall. He is bereft of his friends, his family, even the outside sights. He has no one to play with, to talk with nor even to look at. It is up to Dennis in this time-out period to make a choice to change his behavior or to find himself spending more and more time in the time-out chair.

Isolation from the table and the oratory is Benedict’s “time-out” chair for monks who are guilty of serious faults. The monk is to take his unblest meal alone, to work alone at the tasks given her. No one in the community can associate or converse with her or even bless her as she passes by. In isolation, it is a time for the monk to ponder what she really wants and needs, and how she must change her behavior to be a happy and holy person in this community.

Sitting in the time-out chair on occasion might be a blessing for each of us.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Sent to the Desert

Theologians seem to concur that there are three major metaphors of life—the garden, the river and the desert. All three are important in the life of Jesus and our lives. Before Jesus began his public life, he went to the desert for 40 days to fast, to pray and to discern. It is in this barren land that Jesus struggles with the demons that confront him to discern who he is and how he is to carry out the mission God has given him.

Benedict seems to be aware of the fact that “the desert” is one place where the monk can truly confront herself with her less serious violations against the community. She is not to share the common table nor lead a psalm or recite a reading in the oratory until she makes satisfaction. In the desert she comes face to face with the freedom she enjoys and her true identity as a member of a Benedictine community.

Why not “spend a day in the desert” one day this week!

Sr. Veronica, OSB