Lack of Care in Tasks

Awareness, alertness and care are essential for a completely engaged life. When I am traveling through life on "automatic" my care for detail tends to slip into sloppy mode. I become less involved with the present task and tend to drift from one thing to another. I am like a leaf being blown across the yard by the wind.

The less engaged I am with life and my surroundings the less alive I find myself. I start to lose perspective and all of a sudden the small and trivial becomes huge and all-consuming. I need the structure that community provides to re-center me in life...to provide some form of balance in my life.

How am I living out this balance today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Consistent Tardiness

Some people always seem to be running at least a little late no matter what the circumstance. On the other hand, there are some (like me) who would rather be 30 minutes early than even 1 minute late. For us, "being right on time" is one step away from being late.

Chapter 43 deals with habitual lateness at prayers and at the table. Benedict seems to understand that there are times for everyone when they will be running late. (Too much traffic on the way in, an emergency occurs, some sort of delay along the way) Benedict even makes accommodations for there to be two instances of tardiness--just so it doesn't become a habit. Once it becomes a pattern, Benedict recommends that the person be excluded from the common table or other community activities. In a sense, if I really want to be separated from the group so much that I always show up late...Benedict suggests giving me what I seem to want--to separate me from the rest in a formal way.

Although I may not be late to activities, there are much more subtle ways in which I show that I am choosing to be separate.

• I can sit back and observe activities rather than fully participate. I look around and evaluate what is happening around me. I can keep pretty good notes at times.
• I can find ways to proclaim how different I am from the group; thus setting myself apart.
• I can participate externally while pouting or finding fault with the activity.

How am I choosing to separate myself from the group today? Am I a team member or do I undermine the team?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Avoiding Excesses

I can have it ALL--everything that I can dream or imagine.

Growing up that could easily have been seen as my philosophy of life.

Since I am capable, independent and resourceful, I grew up truly believing that there was not much that could place limits on my capacities, especially since I also had an abundance of energy. As I have matured in life, I have come to realize that I am really not unstoppable (possessing all capabilities) and that all of my abilities are a direct gift from God (not a product of my own creativity). It has taken many years but I have slowly learned to accept my human limitations, my dependence of God and my own frailty.

This awareness is what Benedict speaks of when addressing moderation. There needs to be a conscious balance in our lives. I need to work everyday to carve out space for God, leisure and self-care. I work to achieve equilibrium in my life so that my lack of balance does not unduly affect my work or those around me.

How am I balancing my life today.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preparation

Today we hear about the reader of the week in the monastery. The reader holds an important task since the service of the reader is required at common prayer and at common table. Many monastic houses have reading during at least one of the daily meals.

The directive from Benedict about the preparation necessary to fulfill this role is applicable in monastic settings and in many other group situations. Preparation is paramount for St. Benedict. He states that the reader should be someone who is prepared for the task not just a person who happens to pick up the book at the last minute...with little or no preparation.

Why is preparation so important? I know that if I happen to slide into my prayer place 30 seconds before the bell signaling the beginning of prayer I am not going to be as prepared for prayer. I will tend to be more distracted, more frazzled and on edge. In the same way, when I am a teacher or a student and do not come prepared for class with my materials, my homework and my book, I will probably be much less productive and focused.

Being prepared for the important tasks in my day are necessary. What do I need to do to be prepared to welcome God into my life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Compassion for the Needy

Chapters 36 and 37 of the Rule (yesterday's chapter and today's) deal with the compassion that needs to be shown to those among us with special needs. We are all among the needy at different times whether through illness, age, strength, or personal weakness. There are always some among us that need our love in a special way.

This reality is something that I need to remember daily. Being fairly healthy, capable and independent, I tend to lose patience when I feel that I am having to adjust MY plans or timetable to help another...even when it really is not costing me anything. I get impatient waiting in lines, being stuck in traffic behind a slower driver or having to patiently wait to get my meal in our buffet line. I need to constantly find ways to reframe these times into something positive rather than more infuriating annoyances.

Here are some ways in which I might do this in even small ways:

• When stuck in traffic, use the opportunity to use the Jesus Prayer.
• Being grateful for my health and independence--and thanking God for that especially when needing to wait behind someone who needs extra help.
• Taking time to notice the beauty of the world around me...something I sometimes miss when I am either rushing around or stressing about having to wait for something.
• Looking for ways that I can help at least one person who needs assistance--even if it's just with a smile or a hug.

How else can I learn patience and compassion for others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Getting What I Need

It is written: 'Distribution was made to each one as he had need' (Acts 4:35). By this we do not imply that there should be favoritism--God forbid--but rather consideration for weaknesses. RB80.34.1-2

Parents will often say that they love all of their children...but show that love and care in different ways for each. Everyone responds in a different manner to various situations; being an individual particular interests and need should be taken into account. For example, my younger brother could easily be coaxed into doing things with the promise of more tech time; whereas I would probably more interested in a new book or more social time with friends.

Today, Benedict reminds us that all need to receive what they need. There is really no 'one size fits all' in any community--family, team, classroom, workplace. The talented leader is able to look at the group and assess what will be the most successful for the whole. Do they need more encouragement? Do they need to be challenged? Do they respond well to more time? What is the 'magic blend' for each person on the team?

When I am called to be a leader even in a small way, I need to remember the individual as well as the whole. I need to be aware of what will help the group as well as what the member needs to succeed.

How am I being aware of the needs of those I work with today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Material Goods

I like new things. I like the feel of a new pen, the smell of new books, the excitement of opening a new piece of technology. The "new" just seems to evoke different emotions in me.

Chapter 32 of the Rule deals with the goods of the monastery. Although I do not own anything as an individual, the monastery as an entity does possess property, vehicles, buildings and other things.

In reading Chapter 32, Benedict invites me to deal with material possessions that show care and reverence. Reverence not so much for the item but to signify my awareness that all, even my body is on loan to me. Just as I would be careful with something which I borrowed and would try to return it in good condition....so also with all possessions. I am to remember that I have these things for a time and will be called on to return them at the end in good shape.

This attitude can be a challenge for me at times because I tend to lose interest in what is not new and shiny anymore. I tend to be easily distracted. I need to remember that all is gift from God for the good of others.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Allowing Time for Growth

How many times should a person be able to deviate/runaway from the group and be accepted back? This question has been posed in various ways in different situations. The disciples asked Jesus how many times a person should reasonably be forgiven. The response was 70 times 7 times--which in that times was an enormous amount--almost infinite. In the Rule, the question is how many times may a person leave and expect to be welcomed back. Benedict's response was 3 times.

Being a person who has to learn through experience and having an affinity for life on the edge, I find comfort in the fact that Benedict does allow opportunity for growth and maturity. He understands that for various reasons a person may need to take a break for a time...a kind of time out to reevaluate their life. He also understands that after this deviation there may be reason to ask to come back to the group with a renewed understanding. Benedict does put a limit on this leave-taking. Stability would encourage me not to leave everytime things do not go my way. Just because I am having a rough week or day is not reason to just totally give up.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Prayer for the Erring--A Greater Remedy

We are still in Benedict's disciplinary chapters. Today, Benedict suggests that once the leader has coaxed, encouraged, and sanctioned the erring member and all have failed; the last remedy to try is prayer. Since the Rule was written for a religious community, it seems odd that prayer is left as the last resort.

Maybe Benedict, in his wisdom, realized that the superior was probably going to try everything humanly possible first before resorting to calling in God on the matter. In my life, I often find myself turning to prayer after I have tried dealing with an issue myself first. I tend to hesitate admitting defeat--and in a sense, asking for God's assistance can be seen as a defeat (actually a defeat of my arrogance of thinking that I can handle things on my own).

For myself, when I invite others to pray with me over an issue or concern that I may have I am actually taking the issue more seriously. It's not just a minor annoyance anymore. Many times there is a shift in my perspective or my attitude about the situation. I recognize that this is a major concern not just a minor irritation.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being a Wise Steward

The abbot must exercise the utmost care and concern for wayward brothers, because 'it is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick' (Matt 9.12). Therefore, he ought to use every skill of a wise physician and send in 'senpectae,' that is, mature and wise brothers who, under the cloak of secrecy, may support the wavering brother, urge him to be humble as a way of making satisfaction, and 'console him lest he be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow' (2Cor2.7). RB80.27.1-3

Benedict gives us another portion of his expectations for the leader and for community members today. He understands that there will be some issues that will need to be resolved within the group (attitudes or behaviors that need to be modified). Benedict places the responsibility for addressing the situation with the person on the leader.

The superior is to be available to provide support, correction, healing and care. Since in some cases the leader might be part of the problem, Benedict also makes arrangements for others--whom the leader trusts and appoints to be present as a support to the member.

This principle can be applied to various situations in life. When I was in elementary school I was about as uncoordinated as a person can be. Eye-hand coordination was a foreign concept to me. In 3rd grade when we were learning to shoot baskets in basketball (and I still couldn't do it), the PE teacher arranged for a friend and me to spend some classtime just doing shooting practice. We would get an extra minute at recess the next day for every basket I made. I never became a great basketball player but I could get a few baskets eventually. I was more interested in the extra recess time--and not feeling so awkward in PE.

How can I be a wise helper to those in need today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Our Founding Generation

I am blessed to belong to a community with a long history in Oklahoma, a tradition that is well over 1500 years old and a faith that is over 2000 years old.

The traditions, history and legacy of these three are a source of hope and comfort for me. I do not have to reinvent my life. I can take time to learn from the past, treasure the successes and possibly learn from the mistakes. I can revel in the awareness that I am connected with those who have gone before me in this way of life. I can still ask them for guidance, help and example. In a sense it is like having tons of older siblings and role models in life.

Today I am grateful for all who have nurtured my faith, have formed this community, and have been instrumental in developing our community today.

Sr. Catherine, OSB