There is a piece of wisdom which parents need to learn (or re-learn) but which children seem to grasp intuitively. When you want to do something one parent might not agree with or approve of, ask your parents separately. That way if parents happen to be caught off guard not knowing exactly what the other has said the child might slip by in the midst of the communication chaos.
Evidently not only children can fall into this dilemma but also superiors in community also. In Chapter 65 Benedict talks about what can happen if the two main leaders--Abbot and Prior, Prioress and Sub-Prioress, Mom & Dad, principal & teacher, are not on the same page and happen to actually be at odds with one another. This can create a power struggle and in a worst case setting can be divisive.
I need to ask myself regularly if I happen to be setting up situations at work, in community, among friends, in family that are divisive. How can I be a builder of community and unity rather than a destroyer.
Sr. Catherine
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