A Special Day

Today, we are celebrating the birthday of one of our older Sisters, Sr. Mary Cabrini Boland, OSB. She is turning 90 today. She originally had a huge party planned with relatives and friends coming to visit her for the day--but God had other plans. Thanks to a huge snow storm last Thursday and Friday her family was not able to come but the plans for the party are still happening.

Today, Sr. Cabrini is my example of humility. When she found out that her family could not be here for the birthday, she began planning with the health care staff and some Sisters to video tape her celebration so that her family could enjoy it also--just as if they were here. She did not want her younger brother to miss anything. So...at noon if all goes as planned we will tape the celebration and email it to her family.

She is my example of humility because even when things don't quite go as planned she is always ready to praise God for what has happened and to find the beauty in whatever comes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER CABRINI!

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Humility--More Than A Feeling

When I was a young Sister, we had a chaplain who would tell us regularly that love was more than an itchy feeling around the heart. We heard the statement over and over again and even made jokes about it. Slowly, though we began to grasp the meaning behind the words...love is much more a decision than it is a feeling of any sort. It is a way of life.

Recently, when I was reflecting about humility, I realized that humility is more than just a feeling or sense that I am less than everyone else, that I am the bottom of the totem pole, or a door mat. Humility is more about being confident in the truth about who I am (my creaturehood) in relation to God and the rest of creation. If I am truly humble, I do not have to be right every time nor do I have to be wrong every time. I do not have to be perfect or look perfect. I can be a work in progress and commit myself everyday to growth and progress. I can also be confident of my place in the universe.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

God The Loving Parent

I have always had some hesitancy in relating to God in terms of father or parent. Part of this difficulty, I am sure, is due to the fact that in my own life I have had various issues relating to my own father, father figures and parents in general.

There is one experience I have though that has helped me to make real the image of God as parent and the love and concern that God has for me. About I year ago, I was traveling through the town where my paternal grandparents lived. I took a chance and called my grandparents before my trip and asked if I could come by for a short visit. My grandparents and I were not really close but we did speak on the phone on occasion. My visit with them was arranged. My grandfather (96) had just been released from the hospital the day before. As I visited with my grandparents that day, I felt the love and care that they had had for me throughout my life though at a distance. I was surprised to find out that they had scrapbooks with clippings of my accomplishments through school and into adulthood. My grandfather who was visibly very weak seemed to light up when I was there and hang on to every word during our visit. When it was time to leave I had two things with me: a photo of my grandfather responding to a story I was telling him and, more importantly, the knowledge that I was really loved and accepted in a different way than ever before. My grandfather died a few weeks later.

That visit with my grandfather, though, gave me new insight into the love which God has for each one of us. No matter how many turns or how distant we may be from God at times--God is very deeply in love with us. God is watching over us and waiting for us to return to that love and to respond in love.

Sr. Catherine

Ever Present God

God is everywhere. God sees everything. God knows everything. These are all truths about God that I learned as a child. Pretty basic, right? If so, then why do these same statements turn my life upsidedown sometimes?

While I usually find comfort in God's "allness" there are times when I seek to hide from God. Usually when I am scared, embarrassed or ashamed, I tend to forget easily that God loves me, especially when I don't find myself particularly loveable.

That is when I need to embrace those simple statements and believe in God's love. God loved me first. My response should be love.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Going Up and Coming Down

Have you ever noticed that just when things seem to be going great, everything is finally on track you hit a bump in the road? At least I usually do.

Just when I start focusing on myself and how great things are going something happens to bring me back to earth, to my reality. It could be a failure or set back or something as minor as a cold.

I need to be reminded daily to praise God for my abundant blessings.

Sr. Catherine,OSB

Humility is...

Humility is...

Knowing who I am and who God is
Being comfortable in my humanity
An inner attitude rather than outward behavior
Sincerity, authenticity and honesty with myself and others
Being myself in all circumstances.

What is humility to you?

Sr. Catherine,OSB

Keeping Silence

Many times my mind and my mouth do not seem to belong to the same person. I seem to lack a filtering device that stops me from blurting out the very first thing that comes to my mind. There are times when my tendency toward honesty and sincerity comes in conflict with basic politeness. I need to remember to take a few seconds to think before I speak. Just enough time to weigh the possible consequences of my words.

For example, when someone asks me how I am doing, is the person asking to be polite or do they really what to know about the pain in my right knee and my migraine. If someone does something radically different with their hair would it be better to not mention the new orange frizz or to say something like--"What do you do to your hair?" When someone makes a mistake in public is it better to point it out right then or to wait until later or not mention it at all?

These are all part of my learning process with silence and the use of words.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Grumbling

There are ways in which I can follow a command externally while internally negating every good action that I am performing. This is what Benedict writes about when he asks that obedience be more than just an external action but also an attitude that is nurtured deep within me.

I am reminded of some my attitudes and behaviors that caused me problems when I was a young teen. By my teen years I had mastered two skills very well, I could roll my eyes and mimic my elders and I could also pretend to obey by going through the motions of following instructions. What I did not realize was that others around me, especially adults, could see through my pretend obedience. They were also aware of my mimicking and eye rolling and hoped that I would soon outgrow that.

There soon came a time when I could no longer pretend to obey and I had to decide what kind of person I wanted to be. Did I want to be sincere and authentic and build up community, teams, and relationships? Or would I rather pretend to follow the rules and quietly tear down relationships and community? I struggled with this a long time.

My desire for authenticity, sincerity and building relationships won out but there are times when I still need to make this decision daily. What kind of community/team member is God calling you to be today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Unhesitating Obedience

The first step of humility is unhesitating obedience...RB 5:1

Unhesitating obedience...anyone who knows me even slightly can see where I might have a problem with unhesitating obedience.

The obedience part is actually not the part that makes me think twice. I usually do get around to doing what I am asked to consider and do them cheerfully for the most part. It's just that I sometimes want to do things on my timeframe, ie not immediately. I will often have a question or two to ask about, some new angle to propose or even just want time to consider things in prayer. This happens mostly for some of the larger things in life.

Unhesitating sounds too robotic to me...like my Prioress commands and I follow through. That doesn't even seem realistic to me. I see obedience much more as a dialogue where there is an opportunity to seek more information and to offer some input. There is a relationship between the Prioress and the community member in my mind.

Maybe I am still too much a product of the generation I grew up within.

I continue to pray for a deeper understanding of obedience and the dynamics of it in my life. May God continue teaching me daily in the school of his service.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Enclosure and Stability

Now the workshop in which we shall diligently execute all these tasks is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community. RB 4

After listing all 72 "tools" of good works that are to be desired, Benedict tells us that the place where we get practice in using these tools skillfully is in the enclosure of the monastery and in stability in community. In other words, the place where we become skillful in using these tools is the whatever community setting life has give us--whether it be the family, a friendship, a work team, an office, a classroom, or a monastery.

It is in the sticking through things together, working through our difficulties, being God's presence for one another that we truly learn to be patient, generous, loving and kind. Definitely not what I want to hear on some days, when the last thing I want to be is patient and forgiving (when will others be patient with me), or understanding of someone else's life issues.

It is in that going just one step further that true growth happens for me and sometimes God's grace for me even surprises me.

Which tool do I need to practice using today?

Sr. Catherine

God is Everywhere

One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 139. This is a psalm which talks about God being present everywhere and in every circumstance. The psalmist asks God at one point "where can I run from your presence,..if I fly to heaven you are there if I travel to the netherworld you are also there..."

I have loved this image of the all-knowing, all-present God from my childhood. It just always made me feel secure to know that no matter where I was or what I was doing God was still very alive and present with me through my good times and protecting during the bad. I also meant that even if my parents or grandparents were not always physically there to protect me God was. That was comforting to me.

Even today, I can look around me and see evidence of God's providential love and care for me. How has God been present in life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Truth and Deceit

In this section from the Tools of Good Works (RB 4), there seems to be some preoccupation with truth and deceit. We are admonished not to give a false peace, to speak the truth from the heart and not to perjure. All of this advice seems pretty common sense at first, after all, weren't we all taught not to lie and to try to be honest?

On closer inspection the emphasis is not so much on the truth and the deceit as on the heart (the person) that would consider this behavior acceptable. Benedict is calling us to be our best selves, to surround ourselves with models of good behavior and to follow the lead. He seems to emphasize that no matter who I was or what I did yesterday today is a new day and it can be different...radically different if I but remember to be true to my best self.

How are we being called to be our best selves today?

Sr. Catherine

Acting Differently

Your way of acting should be different from the world's way; the love of Christ must come before all else. (RB 4:20-21)

Part of me longs to be separated from the world or to be able to proclaim that I am a Christian by my very being. People should be able to tell that there is something intrinsically different about me just in the way I am naturally. I am realistic enough to know, however, that the chance of that happening in daily life is sometimes minimal at best.

It is not easy to act like a Christian at all times--but why should it be difficult? Isn't that who I really am? Isn't that what we are called to be--to be our best selves?

When I look at the second part of this passage I am reminded of the source and inspiration of all that makes me who I am--the love relationship with Christ. God's love for me and my attempts at love back to God. It is the love--that is the essential factor in making my way of behaving radically different from the world's way.

Although I will probably continue to struggle with this throughout my life, it is the love of God which continues to urge me forward.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being Exempt

I remember when I was a just a young sister in the community and one of the older professed sisters said to me, “Just wait until you are professed and you won’t have to help with dishes and housecleaning and other mundane tasks.” Well, time passed and our membership dwindled and now I am one of the older professed sisters and I still help with the dishes and the cooking and the other mundane tasks of keeping up a home. And I am pleased not to be exempt from such tasks.

Sometimes, in a family we think we are exempt from doing whatever we can to make our home a joyful, pleasant place. Benedict tells us in Chapter 3 of his Rule, “all are to follow the teachings of the rule”…”no one is the follow his own heart’s desire.”

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Why Don't We Send a Letter

Once I was a member of a Board of Advisors for a university. At one of our meetings we were in a dilemma. One of our biggest donors had submitted an outlandish proposal for use of a $500,000 donation he was going to make to the university. After debating for three hours, one meek soul suggested we write a letter to the donor saying we had his proposal under advisement. Time passed and after a few visits with the donor, he agreed to let the university decide how best to use the money.

This experience illustrates to me the wisdom of Benedict when he tells the Abbot to call the community together for counsel before making important decisions. It is often that “the Lord reveals what is better to the younger,” or perhaps to the quietest among us.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Whose Soul Do I Save?

Do you think there’s a chance we will be asking the Lord on judgment day: “When did we see you hungry and did not feed you? See you naked and did not clothe you? See you homeless and did not take you in?" We will all be accountable on judgment day not only for the state of my own soul, but also for the souls of those whose lives I have touched. This is the warning Benedict gives to the abbot.

We have all heard it said that we do not get to heaven or hell on our own. We always take someone with us. If we keep the great commandment Jesus gave us--Love God with all your heart, Love your neighbor as yourself with all your heart, Love yourself with all your heart—assures us that we will save our own souls and the souls of others.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Teaching Styles & Learning Styles

In the last 30 or 40 years research in education has focused on teaching styles and learning styles. This research indicates that educators might be more effective if they took into account the differences in students’ learning styles. This understanding of learning styles can lead a teacher to think about different ways of teaching, to vary techniques to facilitate maximum learning for as many students as possible. Good teaching involves more than communicating the content of a discipline. Good teaching motivates students to continue learning and to teach them the skills and strategies needed for continual learning.

It is interesting to note that Benedict in his Rule already understood this concept of different learning and teaching styles. He instructs the Abbot to “so accommodate and adapt himself to each [monk’s] character and intelligence that he will not only keep the flock entrusted to his care from dwindling, but will rejoice in the increase of a good flock.”

Sr Veronica, OSB

To Discipline or Not To Discipline

In the 1950s I was a lay teacher teaching the 6th grade in a Catholic school. In these days before Vatican II once a month we took the students to the church for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On such a day the sixth graders and I were all lined up and ready for Confession. Mackey, one of my 6th graders, began causing all kinds of trouble, running around the church, punching on some of the guys, talking out loud. He was certainly not an angel, but he had never caused so much turmoil before. I cornered him and took him outside and asked him what his trouble was. His reply was, “I didn’t have any sins and I had to commit a few.” (As his teacher I think I could have helped him with his list).

This experience brings home to me what Benedict is talking about when he tells the abbot that discipline must vary with the circumstances. Did Mackey need some kind of discipline or did he need some explanation about what sin really is and what the Sacrament of Reconciliation is all about?

Sr. Veronica, OSB

We Are All One in Christ

Sometimes in a large family it appears that some member is being favored over the others. There were 4 girls and 4 boys in our family. We girls were assigned to clean the table and do the dishes. When I was 13, Margaret was 9, and Mary Lois was 8, Mary Lois died with a ruptured appendix. After Mary Lois died, every night when time came to clean the table and begin the dishes my sister Margaret would disappear to my Dad’s tool shed, so I did the dishes by myself. When I told my mother that Margaret was her pet and she let her get out of all her work, my mother took me aside and told me Margaret had to grieve as she had lost her sister and her very best friend. My mother was showing equal love to all of us in a special way.

This is what Benedict is asking the abbot to do--show equal love to everyone.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

The Splinter and Plank Scandal

The splinter and plank scandal has been around since the beginning of human history. Jesus creates a picture story to show us how outrageous it is. Picture yourself with a 6 foot cedar post sticking out of your eye trying to get close enough to a person to remove a tiny speck in his eye. Every time you move, you beat the person in front of you with your post. That’s why Jesus tells us not to play God, but to admit our faults and stop judging others. If we do the judging of others, all of us come out beat up and our sins remain.

So Benedict tells us and the abbot: If you wish to build a peaceful community, stop judging one another, let God do the judging.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Good Shepherds

Let him faithfully shepherd his flock.

Jesus, speaking about us, said: “They are like sheep without a shepherd.” Do you know anything about sheep? They are considered stupid animals; their IQ level is in the single digits. They need a shepherd to take care of them. Once a visitor to the Holy Land came to see a shepherd; he wanted to learn something about sheep. He noted that the pen where the sheep spent the night had no gate. He remarked to the shepherd that he must have an easy job keeping the sheep in the pen and the wild animals out. The wise old shepherd said, “I am glad to tell you about sheep. I am the gate for the pen; the opening is my bedroom for the night. I lead them to good pastures and quiet waters. I will lay down my life for my sheep.”

In Chapter 2 of the Rule, St. Benedict is telling the abbot to faithfully shepherd his flock. He must be the good shepherd nourishing his flock with good example and words of wisdom. We are all shepherds; we are never off duty. We are to nourish one another and those whose lives we touch with good example and words of wisdom.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

The Wannabe Monastic

When I first entered community, I had dreams and illusions of what life in the monastery would look like. Everyone would always be kind and polite, no one ever raised their voice, there was perfection everywhere I would turn. I seemed almost like heaven on earth on one level. I did not take long for me to realize that my image of life was just an illusion and that real life in the monastery was just that real life.

I would still be bringing myself and my quirks and my struggles with me. Those things that had been issues before the monastery would still probably be issues for me. I would still have times of frustration as I realized yet again that the only person in life that I could change was me--and that is only if I wanted to change.

The one thing that community offered me was an opportunity to look at myself more closely with no real chance for escape. There is a little bit of the sarabaite (the monk that wants life on his/her own terms) in all of us. Community provides us with the opportunity to be still and open our minds and hearts to the possibility of change and growth.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Fighting the Vices of Body and Mind

Although I see a value in discipline and training, I would not consider myself a fan of strict discipline or practice. I tend to like unstructure in my life a little too much. That is unusual for me considering that most of my upbringing and a large part of my adult life has required me to live a very precise life. I also function well in a structured environment although it is not my preference.

St. Benedict in describing the anchorites/hermits talks about their disciplined life. It is their disciplined lifestyle that has prepared them to battle against evil and vices on their own. It takes a very strong person to be able to undertake the spiritual journey without companions--that is a strength that I neither possess nor aspire towards. I am much to social of a person to desire solitude as a way of life.

There is a strength which is present in community also. It is that strength which allows us to be there for each other every day in good times and in difficult, through laughter and through tears at times. I see that strength daily in my Sisters, I aspire for that strength...a strength that comes from being there for each other and being one with each other. I pray for many more years of learning this type of strength.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preparing Our Hearts and Bodies

In order to be an accomplished athlete, musician, artist, training and diligent practice are necessary. I would never consider signing up to run a marathon if I can barely jog to the end of the block; it would be ridiculous to sign up for MENSA if I barely made it past 5th grade. Common sense tells us that there are many things that cannot be attempted successfully without proper training. Some things might even be dangerous to try without training.

Isn't our spiritual life worth the effort needed to become spiritually fit? Isn't the time invested in learning scripture, studying our faith, building a relationship with God, just as necessary to our well being?

Above are two photos taken at the recent FOCUS Conference in Orlando.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Patience of God

I am always grateful that God is much more patient and merciful than I could ever imagine being. Not that I am a bad person or anything yet there is a part of me that sometimes fantasizes about punishing those who have wronged me....probably much more than they deserve.

The Prologue of the Rule tells us that God patiently waits for us to return through good deeds and listening to the Word. God constantly offers us opportunities to repent of our past and to be renewed in newness of heart. That is a good message to hear as we begin a new year.

How will 2010 be a year of grace and mercy from the Lord for us?

Sr. Catherine, OSB