Laughing With or Laughing At

The 10th Step of Humility asks that the person not be disposed to ready laughter. That sounds a little odd because a good sense of humor is a healthy thing to possess and there is definitely time for companionable laughter and banter in any community or family.

There is a kind of humor, though, that does carry a little sting with it which is probably the laughter that Benedict wanted to avoid. When I was a very young Sister, one of our older Sisters, for whom English was not her native language, was frustrated and started rapidly speaking sounds that none of understood. She did not realize that she had reverted to her original language. It was a little comical in that the more we laughed the more frustrated she became with us and the more ununderstood sounds she made. Finally, I think she just gave up trying to communicate with us.

Later though, I reflected on the event and realized that maybe a kinder approach on our part might have been to stop her at some point and ask her to repeat her message in English this time rather than in a sense laughing at her. This approach might have given all of us a opportunity to share in a good joke in the future rather than telling the story at that person's expense.

Sr. Catherine, OSB