Particular Friendships can be deadly to communities, groups and teams. Although most of us do not use the term particular friendships (pf) often, we all recognize them when we see them.
A PF is an exclusive relationship within a group. It is generally divisive, based on a system of double messages and circuitous communication. It is the adult version of an adolescent clique.
What happens in these relationships is that alliances are formed on the basis of likes, similarities, secrets and who's in and who's out. This can be harmful to a group since in many cases everyone needs to interact with one another and work together not according to factions but according to a unifying goal.
I have had an experience of this kind of relationship and found it deadening to my spiritual life and to my relationships within community. I pray daily for stronger relationships.
Sr. Catherine, OSB
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