Only Beginners

Are you hastening toward your heavenly home? Then with Christ's help, keep this little rule we have written for beginners. RB80.73.8

Just when I am getting to the end and can see the finish line, Benedict says that this is only the beginning. He has to be kidding!!! I have just finished going through the Rule for the third time this year--surely I'm getting close to the end.

But no, as I look toward tomorrow I know that our community will start reading from the Prologue, yet again, as we do every four months. This can seem very discouraging--doing it over and over and over again with no end in sight. It can also provide me with insight and hope for the future. I never have to worry about getting it just right--I just have to be concerned with doing the next thing. That makes life simpler.

As we begin a new reading of the Rule, may I always remember God's call to listen, be open to all and to share God's love.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Prefering Nothing to Christ

Let them prefer nothing whatever to Christ, and may he bring us all together to everlasting life. RB80.72.11-12

I have a bookmark that has this quote from the Rule in Spanish. It is probably my favorite bookmark....not because of its artistic beauty but because it reminds me what is most important in life. Most important in my life, and in the life of any Christian.

I must remember to put on Christ daily and to use Christ as the model of who I am today and who I am called to be (my true identity). If I follow Christ with all the passion that exists within me, Christ will bring everyone to everlasting life (our end goal).

This is not always easy. I have to remember to choose Christ daily, sometimes hourly. I need to be reminded of my initial commitment from time to time. But, ultimately, I do want to follow Christ and be brought to everlasting life.

How am I showing that Christ is my true goal today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Defending Another

Every precaution must be taken that one monk does not presume in any circumstance to defend another in the monastery or to be his champion, even if they are related by the closest ties of blood. RB80.69.1-2

I have always been a person with a strong sense of justice and right. Even in grade school I would regularly be found trying to defend those who seemed to be marginalized. Now Benedict seems to be calling me not to defend others, even those closest to me. Maybe, I am being invited to view community and justice in a new way.

Division and factions can be the enemy of any cohesive group. By taking sides and fiercely defending my own views, cause or faction, I can unthinkingly destroy unity and community spirit. By forcing people to choose sides, I can cause a separation from leadership and our true goals; sometimes causing irreparable damage. In my quest for right, I might destroy community.

I need to look at my motivation in embracing a certain thought or defending a person or idea. Is it for the good of the entire group? May I always be able to see beyond my own perspective to the good of the group.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Asked To Do the Impossible

A brother may be assigned a burdensome task or something he cannot do. If so, he should, with complete gentleness and obedience, accept the order given him. Should he see, however, that the weight of the burden is altogether too much for his strength, then he should choose the appropriate moment and explain patiently to his superior the reasons why he cannot perform the task. RB80.68.1-2

When I first entered community, I came equipped with a list of things that I would absolutely never consider doing. It was meant to scare people away from asking me to do something that might push me out of my comfort zone...even just a little. Glad to say, in the past 25 years I have discovered that everything on my impossible-for-me-to do list was actually quite doable.

That being said, Benedict does realize that there might be an occasion or two when a person is being asked to do something that is quite literally impossible for them. Benedict recommends that the person take the assignment and consider carefully whether the request is impossible or merely uncomfortable. If the task is truly impossible, then I need to go back and explain why it is impossible. Even then I might still be asked to perform the task but at least I know that I tried my best to explain my hesitancy.

There are times in life when I need to trust that someone might see a trait or skill which might be hidden from me. Manytimes the thing that I would never have chosen, mostly because it is a little uncomfortable, has turned out to be a great learning tool for me--learning about myself, learning about life in general. These can be teachable moments.

May I trust God daily to lead me even beyond my own self-imposed boundaries.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Blessing at Departing

Brothers sent on a journey will ask the abbot and community to pray for them. All absent brothers should always be remembered at the closing prayer of the Work of God. RB80.67.1-2

On leaving on any kind of trip, our Sisters have the custom of asking the Prioress to pray for them before departing. On leaving our property, even for a short errand, it is also our tradition to pray a traveler's prayer asking for a safe journey.

These practices might seem strange especially since in today's world it is not uncommon to be going a variety of places just in one day. I have always found it comforting to know that I am asking God's protection everytime I leave home--this is a practice that I grew up with at home also.

These prayers help to remind me that God is with me everywhere I go (I am not alone at any point of my journey.) It also reminds me that my community and the prayers of my community follow me throughout the day--again I am not alone. I am part of something much larger than myself. This practice can also prepare me to look for Christ in the many encounters of my day, since all who cross my path are to be greeted as Christ.

I am grateful for the various ways in which I can recall my relationship to God through these prayers.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Protecting Your Soul

The monastery should, if possible, be so constructed that within it all necessities, such as water, mill and garden are contained, and the various crafts are practiced. Then there will be no need for the monks to roam outside, because this is not at all good for their souls. RB80.66.7-8

Benedict envisioned a monastic complex which would be self-sufficient. There would be little need, if any, to leave the property to take care of the needs of the members. That probably was reasonable in the 6th century but is highly improbable in the 21st.

So...how does a person maintain the focus of monastic values even as they navigate the daily challenges of life in our world. Part of the answer, I think, is in remembering that we are meant to be in the world but not necessarily of the world. We are to function within the parameters of society but also show a different response to the events around us. We are called to be radically counter-cultural.

• Where society might encourage us to value a person for their productivity, I am to take time to listen to the old and the young, the sick, the weak, the poor....and value their insights.
• When my natural tendency is to rush from one thing to the next, I am to be mindful of the world around me and God's love in each moment. I need to take time to listen and be present to life.
• When I am encouraged to think only of #1 and to be competitive in all aspects of life, Benedict encourages me to be #1 only in showing respect and love to others.

How am I called to be present to the world but not of the world today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leadership--A Team Approach

Chapter 65 of the Rule of Benedict provides a model for what Benedict envisioned as a "team" approach to leadership. Being a realist Benedict understood that it was impractical and probably impossible for one person to carry the burden of leadership for any group. He, therefore, set up provisions for deans and others who would assist in leadership.

These assistants are not to be considered mini-tyrants but rather are charged with following through on the superiors vision for the group. They are entrusted with implementing a piece of the bigger picture and assisting the group in achieving its goals. These are the trusted confidantes of the leader.

Similar to parents, who lead their families as a unit--of similar mind and heart, those assisting the superior need to follow through on orders given and fulfil the leaders plan a much as possible.

How am I helping to further the goals of community today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Building Strong Relationships

Let him strive to be loved rather than feared. (RB80.64.15)

Many have heard the old saying, "You can draw more flies with honey than with vinegar." This short sentence from the Rule on the election of leadership seems to take a similar view.

It is much easier for me to follow the advice of someone that I consider to be on my side, looking out for my interest rather than a tyrant or dictator. The trust that has been developed in the past serves as a strong backdrop for current relationships.

I have been fortunate to have leaders that I treasure as dear friends and that I truly respect. This relationship makes it much easier to accept correction from them--because I sense that they love me and care about me also.

When I find myself in leadership as either a teacher, a team leader, or a supervisor I strive to build a strong relationship with my colleagues first, then work from their. I try to remember what a treasure their trust is to me and to be worthy of that honor.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leading By Word and Deed

Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria for choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank. (RB80.64.2)

Parents are often criticized for leading their families with a "Do as I say, not as I do" attitude. It seems more than a little incongruous for a leader to say one thing and then act in a manner opposite to the teaching. Children tend to be sponges who absorb their environment much more than follow straight teaching--even when it seems that they are not really paying attention.

I am a good example of this theory. Growing up, I made it a point to appear as though I really did not care about anything and that I was not paying attention to life around me. Secretly, though, I was assessing everything I saw and passing judgement on all. I was also learning by watching everything carefully.

The things that stick out in my mind the most are the examples of lived faith that I saw in our household. Although we did not speak about religion, church and belief much growing up, I watched my parents and grandparents care deeply for the needy and the stranger. I saw multiple examples of compassion as my parents took on various local and world wide causes--either through awareness raising or through actual charitable works. I was fortunate to get a world wide education through my travels with my grandparents as a child.

All of these things became part of my own lived faith as I matured and have served me well in ministry and in life. We cannot underestimate the value of lived faith as an example for others.

How am I reflecting God's love today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

First in Respect

They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other (Rom. 12:10)

Benedict uses this short verse from Paul's letter to the Romans to emphasize the attitude that should exist within the community--between members. Benedict knew that many are competitive by nature and strive to be first...so why not try to be the first at showing others respect (in treating them as Christ).

That is an appealing concept to me since I love being noticed for my accomplishments and am always looking for new ways to excel in life. How about trying to win the gold medal in showing care and respect to others? That sounds live a goal to strive for--one that would take daily practice and lots of work.

What are some ways in which I can show respect to my friends, teammates, coworkers today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Disturbing My Sense of Order and Justice

In the monastery, they should keep to their ranks as established by the time of entry, merit of life or the abbot’s arrangement. (RB80.63.1)

Benedict is pretty clear about what factors are considered in ordering the members of the community (the monastic version of lining folks up in some kind of order). The three criteria used are time of entry (who got here first?), merit of life (who sets a good example? who knows how to behave well?) and leader's discretion (although that seems to be the weakest element--since it could be considered favoritism). Benedict intends his followers to be able to maintain some kind of order using these directives.

It doesn't take very long working with a group before I start looking around and comparing my position with others.

• Why is that person always first?
• Why does my coworker seem to get more benefits than me?
• Why is my teammate always consulted about things?
• Why does she always get to have lunch with the popular people?

I think you get the point...

I have found that the more attention I pay to others and what is happening with them the more isolated, dissatisfied, and uncomfortable I become. It is a good sign that I might need to turn my gaze inward, towards my own work rather than at what is happening around me. I need to remember that often because what is happening with others can seem so interesting at times.

What or who am I focusing on today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Obeying The Rule

Chapter 62 of the Rule talks about priests in the monastery. It does not just pertain to priests or clergy, however, but to everyone who has ever been placed in a leadership role in a group--parent, teacher, coach, supervisor.

Various times in this selection, Benedict reminds me that although I might have a higher level of authority in a some cases that does not excuse me from having to follow the norm and adhere to the common practice. On the contrary, because of the extra authority and visibility I am invited to monitor my behavior more closely so that I can be an example of obedience to others.

That is not always something I strive for. There are times when I would much rather have a more anonymous role. The Gospel and the Rule both invite me to present my best self--not because I desire the praise of others but so that my actions and life might be a more accurate reflection of God's grace.

How am I reflecting God's love today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Contaminating Others

Instead, he should be politely told to depart, lest his wretched ways contaminate others. (RB80.61.7)

Our attitudes and habits can be contagious for good or ill. If I am in a horrible mood where nothing seems to be going right in the world, it is easy to share some of my misery with others--my co-workers, my clients, my students, my relatives, my friends.

Afterall, isn't it just being honest and being myself to complain to everybody in sight? If something is wrong, shouldn't everyone know about it?

What I find is that I can quickly move on with my life--after sharing my misery with others. I forget quickly. The people I infected with my pain though don't usually recover as fast. Many times others are still suffering well after I have moved on to something else.

Am I being mindful of the damage that my habits and attitudes can cause?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Oblation--Offering Oneself

The dictionary defines oblation as:

• the offering to God of the elements of bread and wine in the Eucharist;
• the whole office of the Eucharist;
• the act of making an offering, esp. to a deity;
• any offering for religious or charitable uses.
  

Using these definitions, it seems that all of life need be an oblation (an offering to God of love with my whole self).

It's a good thought but how is it lived out in real life? How do I propose to live in God's presence day after day?

Here are a few thoughts:

• training myself to make God my first thought and my last thought daily. Thanking God for the day--when I feel like reaching for the snooze button on the alarm clock and thanking God for blessings when I turn off my light at night.
• remembering to place myself on the altar as an offering with the Bread and Wine at Eucharist--and bringing all of my concerns to place on the altar also.
• going out of my way (out of my comfort zones) to be present to those around me when they need someone just to be present. Being truly present to others rather than just being physically present.
• remembering God's presence at various times throughout the day (raising my awareness of God's divine presence daily).

These are just a few practical ways in which I can remember to unite myself and my life to God daily.

What are some ways that you can do the same?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Suscipe

After he has put it there [the vows document], the novice himself begins the verse: Receive me, Lord, as you have promised, and I shall live; do not disappoint me in my hope (Ps 118[119]: 116). The whole community repeats the verse three times, and adds "Glory be to the Father." (RB80 58. 21-22)

Suscipe...receive me. What does it take for me to trust God completely with my life?

The above passage from the Rule of Benedict is used as part of the final profession ceremony--when we entrust our lives to God forever (or at least for the next few minutes). I know that it was a permanent commitment that was made on that July morning in 1990 at my profession ceremony. And at that moment, I probably thought that it was a once and forever deal. I was still pretty idealistic about lots of things in those days.

Now, after twenty years of living this life and the dailiness of it, I realize that a daily (sometimes hourly) reaffirmation of that commitment needs to take place within me. I need to remind myself of the goodness of this life (especially when there are doubts or questions in my mind or I lose my focus--which sometimes happens). I need to recall what first drew me here and how that has matured into the reasons I consider this life valuable. It is good for me to reflect on life often.

May I continue to renew my commitment to our life daily.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

What Do You Seek?

What do you seek?

This question which is taken from the ceremony for entrance into our monastic community is a life long question. Chapter 58 of the Rule which addresses the reception of new members into community touches on the central question for monastic life.

What do you seek?

• It is that seeking and yearning for God which sustained me through the hard days of initial formation.
• That desire is what has seen me through times of doubt and pain when I've wondered why I came in the first place.
• It is that relationship with God (and with my Sisters) which is nourished daily through our common prayer and lectio.
• It is that feeling of open welcome that first drew me to this community.

Ultimately, seeking God daily is what makes this life viable. It is the distinctive element that sets this life apart for me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Monastery Artists

Monasteries are places of art, peace and creativity. They are spaces where the freedom to be spontaneous, avant garde and innovative is treasured. Monasteries have many talented people associated with them--poets, painters, sculptors, musicians, just to name a few.

Benedict was well aware of the gifted-ness of his community and of future generations of monastics. In Chapter 57 of the Rule, Benedict reminds us that all art needs to be practiced with humility. The gift which God has bestowed on me is not for my use alone or to add glory and fame to my name but to benefit others and to add due glory to God and his graciousness. I need to remember that of myself I would have no talent--it is a product of God's generosity to me.

May I always remember to thank God for the bounty of graces and gifts bestowed upon me and share these gifts generously.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Sharing at Table

When I first entered community, table conversation was one of the skills that I was definitely lacking in me. I totally missed the point of conversation and sharing at table. I came from a family that although we were physically present for every meal together it was often much easier to eat rapidly and in silence (less arguments among siblings and less unpleasant encounters).

When I entered community, most of my conversation skills were weak. I did not know how to make "small talk" and it really did not make a whole lot of sense to me since it seemed like politeness without a purpose. Since then, I have worked at learning the art of table conversation--not always successfully.

Table conversation and real listening are skills that are hard to establish. I need to work on those everyday and make slow progress. I need to be okay with baby steps as frustrating as they might appear.

May I always be willing to learn new skills.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Distribution of Goods

Chapter 55 of the Rule uses the following sentence from the Acts of the Apostles as its starting point: "distribution was made to each according as anyone had need" (Acts 4:35). This sentence implies that every person will receive what is needed not necessarily what is wanted. Although I am generally clear on the difference between my needs and my desires, I do get confused at times and will often look around to see what others have that I don't.

Why does my neighbor get an upgraded cell phone when I have the same one I've had for the last five years?

Why do I only have two pairs of shoes when everyone else seems to have at least four?

Why does this person always seem to be excused from table dishes and cooking while some of us are on the schedule more frequently?

It is always best to keep my heart and mind centered on what I need not on what I find so appealing that others might have--more gadgets, more time, better clothes. I have found that often with these "more" things that I envy comes more responsibilities and more headaches.

May I always remember the difference between needs and wants.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Simplicity in Life

Things tend to multiply spontaneously for me. The more I try to run from bits of paper, books, notebooks, etc. the more the pile seems to grow. For every piece of paper or other thing that I either throw out, regift, or return to its rightful place, there is always something to replace it--or various somethings. I have heard that nature abhors a vacuum but this is ridiculous.

Unfortunately, this is not only an exterior phenomenon in my life--I tend to collect interior clutter also. Things like anger, resentment, envy, and bitterness can seem to overtake ever bit of space within my mind and heart at times. I find it much easier to remember the one cross word rather than the thousand kindness that are shown to me.

How can I remove the excess negativity within my soul so that I can better reflect God's love to others?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Transforming Moment

Twenty-six years ago today, our community accepted three young women into the monastic community. The same thing happened the following year, again on August 6, the Feast of the Transfiguration. I was in the second group of three that entered.

In my twenty-something mind, I remember being scared as the entrance hour approached ("What am I getting myself into?") and excited since this was a new adventure. I looked at my classmates and assessed their ability to sticking it out forever (I was pretty naive and idealistic at that time.). I recall looking around and being amazed at the many women of faith that I saw around me--wondering if I would ever "grow up to be like them."

Twenty-five years later, much of the initial glow and excitement has settled into dailiness yet I never cease to be amazed at the women that I live with daily. I thank God for the gift of community and for God's gift of fidelity to our monastic way of life.

Hospitality to Self

There are three types of hospitality to which everyone is called--hospitality to others, God and self. By far, I have often found hospitality with self to be the most difficult.

Growing up with a sense that since I was older and stronger than my sibs, I was expected to serve others well before I considered myself, it was easy for me to think that my needs were not really all that important. It would amaze my parents that I could actually be generous and gracious with rest of the family helping with tasks and not really complaining much. When it came to self-care and doing things for myself I would be at a loss of where to start or what to do or just didn't have any energy or enthusiasm left.

The situation has not changed much in adulthood. I will spend myself emotionally and physically for others, then forget to replenish my stock.

I need to remember that I need that hospitality for myself first so that I have that base of hospitality from which to serve and love others.

May I remember that there are three hospitalities that are important in life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Hospitality--Accepting All as Christ

Great care and concern are to be shown in receiving poor people and pilgrims, because in them more particularly Christ is received; our very awe of the rich guarantees them special respect. RB80.53.15

Hospitality is one of the monastic values that I took to quite easily as a young Sister. Afterall, I am an extrovert and enjoy spending time visiting with people and making them feel comfortable. In my time in community, I have had various opportunities to practice hospitality and to gain deeper insight into its meaning.

For about 7 years, I was fortunate to work at a social service agency that emphasized the dignity of all people and encouraged all to treat others with equal respect--whether client, staff, volunteer, etc. During my years there I made it a point to try to connect with as many of the regular clients and volunteers as I could. I would try to remember something specific about the person as well we their name. When I saw these people coming to our offices, I made it a point to ask them about whatever was significant about them. Many were amazed that I would recall facts about their lives. For me, it just seemed part of the ministry of hospitality--meeting Christ in the other, no matter what the disguise. I have continued to carry on this habit in my personal life.

How is Christ coming to me today? Who does Christ look like? How can I best respond to Christ in my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Place of Prayer

The oratory ought to be what it is called, and nothing else is to be done or stored there. After the Work of God, all should leave in complete silence and with reverence for God, so that a brother who may wish to pray alone will not be disturbed by the insensitivity of another. (RB80.52.1-3)

Reading this section from Chapter 52 of the Rule seems like a "no brainer" to me. Of course, the place of prayer needs to be just that (a place of prayer).

When I think though of how "familiar" and relaxed I might become with my prayer this selection carries a different message. How often to I show up to community prayers in body only? How often am I preplanning my next event rather than really present to prayer, God and to community? How many times lately have I foregone or shortened my lectio time to get I more task done?

Prayer is an activity that requires my full attention and participation. May I always desire to grow in my prayer relationship.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Keeping the Rules

Human nature would have me set myself apart at every possible instance. If there is a way to set myself as special or different I will do my best to find it.

Today's reading from chapter 51 of the Rule encourages me to look for the good in being average or fitting within the boundaries. It reminds me that it is not my task in life to be the exception to every rule. I can take comfort in being just like everyone else--no more and no less.

May I always desire to live within the boundaries set by life and be content there.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Pray Everywhere

Chapter 50 of the Rule of Benedict reminds me that I am the same person with the same life committments no matter where I may find myself. Whether I be at the Monastery, at work, traveling, or on vacation, I am still a Christian trying to live out my core beliefs and values.

One of those values is the awareness that prayer and praise are central in my life--for my life to be in balance. Although it is a harder to maintain my normal prayer schedule when I am away from the monastery, I find that I can definitely feel the difference in my life when I don't. I find myself more driven and anxious. I start losing the focus that I can maintain when I follow my regular schedule. I find that I need to rely more on others for that balance. I don't feel like myself anymore.

This might be a sign that my lifestyle has started to seep into my very soul. I would like to be a person who has prayer connected with their very being. Many of our older sisters are like that...I aspire to be like them. :)

Sr. Catherine, OSB