Goodness of Life and Wisdom in Teaching

Among the qualities set forth in the election of an abbot--or leader--are goodness of life and wisdom in teaching. So example and teaching are essential for leadership.

Benedict understood that the example of a life lived according to his principles and values would be an effective reinforcement to sound teaching. It helps me to be able to see concretely how the concepts of the Rule look in daily life.

Although I may want to be inwardly directed and centered on Gospel principles, I need living role models that can show me the way and that can also help me get back on track when my way may deviate.

People are always in need of heroes and role models to show how to walk the path to true happiness. Today in considering the example of our leaders, I need to reflect on who might be considered true examples of Christian living for me. How am I being an example of this for others?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Promising Stability, Fidelity to Monastic Life and Obedience

At the time of profession, the monastic makes three vows: stability, fidelity to monastic life and obedience. These signs of monastic commitment color our daily life.

• Stability: Our promise of stability assures that I will be present long term--I will be there when things are good and when times get a little rough. I commit to be around no matter how hard things get or how messy life can become. I can also count on others to be there also. It is part of what goes into making a life commitment to one another. It gives me the freedom to grow and permission to be vulnerable to others. It gives me the assurance that those I am committed to will be there day after day.


• Fidelity to monastic life: This vow calls forth daily conversion in my life. If I am to be faithful to this new way of being, I need to work at it every single day. I need to continually explore ways that allow me to see God's presence in Scripture, in creation, in those around me, in daily life. I have to be open to the many possibilities and opportunities which this faithfulness calls forth in me.


• Obedience: I have to be willing to put down my own ideas, my own ways of doing things and be open to the wisdom of others. These others can be my Prioress, other community members, or the community as a whole. I need to develop my listening skills so that I can hear beyond the words. It is important to be able to listen to the care and concern of others, to be able to hear their encouragement or words of advice.

These three promises are aspects of our daily life in the monastery. They are also values that can be an important part of daily life in general. In families, offices, teams and classrooms, the freedom to grow, commitment to core values and adherence to the wisdom of the group are essential.

How am I living out my commitments today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On New Beginnings

Yesterday was the 1st Sunday of Advent...the beginning of a new year for our Church. Coming a few days after Thanksgiving and Black Friday and just before Cyber Monday the beginning of Advent can often seem like just a little bump on the road on the way to Christmas.

This year, the 1st Sunday of Advent was truly memorable since that was the day designated for the implementation of the 3rd edition of the Roman Missal. Although many faced this day with a mixture of excitement and concern, the first liturgical weekend is now behind us and all went fairly well. Yes, there were a few mistakes and some awkward moments as we all tried to remember the appropriate new responses--or juggle multiple sheets and books but overall it was good.

Our monastic community took an extra leap in also revising our Office books (common prayer books) this past weekend. So now even the psalms which we had been praying together for years have a few new words or phrasing that is a little different. We had been working towards revising our books for a few years so in one sense it was a welcome change and exciting--although still one more new thing.

We are learning patience with ourselves and others as we pray together. We are grateful for the wonderful gift of the liturgy. We are most grateful to God for providing the grace, strength and insight needed to remember what is most essential in our faith.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Needs vs Wants

It is written: Distribution was made to each one as he had need (Acts 4:35). RB80.34.1

I seem to be a thing magnet at times. Even though I try very hard to limit what I have, use or acquire, things seem to pile up little by little around me. This is especially true of paper, books, and gadgets. As much as possible, I try to limit the amount of stuff that tends to accumulate around me but it often seems to be a losing battle from the very beginning.

Paper, books and some tech gadgets (cell phone and laptop) are a natural part of my various ministry commitments. After all, how can I cook without a printed recipe, shop for supplies without a written list, or produce financial reports without multiple spreadsheets and graphs?
There is a point beyond which I can be either hanging on to unnecessary paper or hiding behind an overwhelming pile of stuff just to look busy or important.

Benedict invites me today to work on simplifying rather than increasing the amount of clutter and stuff around me. No amount of things is ever going to fulfill all of my needs and make me feel complete. I need to step back and listen to God's voice within me that calls me to rely on God's grace rather than depend on things for my security and value. In heeding God's invitation to simplify my life, I am making myself open to God's will in my life.

How am I listening to God's voice today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Love for the Weak

Rather, as the Apostle says: Let love for him be reaffirmed (2Cor 2:8), and let all pray for him. RB80.27.4

We all have our times of weakness, when our frailty seems to be closely connected with our identity. It is good for me to remember that during these times although life may look bleek it is not a time to dispair.

Today's selection of the Rule, which is from the disciplinary section of the Rule, reminds the community that it is at the time when one is that weakest that the love and concern of the group needs to be reaffirmed in order to gently guide the wayward or weak back into relationship. I know that when I begin to wander away from the boundaries set by the norm it is time for me to reach out to others and ask for extra support.

What does this support look like? It does not necessarily have to be anything spectacular or flashy,,,it can be taking time to listen to another's concerns, it can be a smile, a hug or a touch of the arm. It only needs to be some genuine expression of compassion or concern for the other. Just letting the person know that someone cares. I know that for me these brief moments of connection allow me the space and confidence needed to reassess my current situation and move forward in the future.

Whenever possible, I try to be that connection point for others also. It is in these encounters that we find surprising strength at times. How am I being a connecting point for others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Being Lukewarm in Life

Being lukewarm...that is not an appealing image. In general, things should either be truly hot or truly cold. It is a sign of total commitment to whatever is being considered. Lukewarmness is more like sitting on the fence because I can't get up enough energy to care one way or the other about an issue. It is neutrality--but not in a good sense. It is closer to apathy than detachment.

I have never considered myself lukewarm about anything in life until recently. For me, this state of not caring can be instructive. When I find myself not really caring about life, myself, or other things, it is a good time to start paying attention to my thoughts, my attitudes and my current pastimes. If I am careful, I can trace back the beginnings of this state of nothingness in my daily life. It is usually not anything large and flashing rather tiny, subtle decisions that eat away at my spirit little by little. I don't want to reside in this state for long (if at all).

Today's task is to pull myself back from lukewarmness and fully engage in life. What can I do to recommit to that is important for me in life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Acknowledging the Holy Trinity

We believe in a God who is Three-yet-One. Our God is three distinct persons (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) yet one divine Being. This part of our faith is a mystery. We will never fully understand it but we are invited to accept it as true in faith.

We live in the presence of this mystery. One of the visible ways in which we show our awareness of this reality and also our reverence to the Holy Trinity is the monastic custom of standing and bowing at the Doxology during our times of common prayer. It reemphasizes the reality of God's presence in our prayer together and in daily life in general.

What are some ways in which I can live my daily life in reverence to the Trinity?

Sr. Catherine

Silence and Humility

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent. Prov 10:19

The ninth step of humility encourages us to treasure silence. Silence is valued because it allows me to slow down my thoughts and to listen for God's voice in my daily experiences.

God speaks in subtle and quiet ways. When I am busy talking incessantly, thinking about what amazing remark I will make next, I find that I do not have the sensitivity necessary to perceive God's messages to me. I lose my ability to listen to God, others, and the world around me when I am occupied with only my own speech and concerns. When I am so focused on what I have to say and on my message, I often discover that it is harder to speak the truth gently and respectfully. I am in danger of playing with the truth or hurting another thoughtlessly if I am not careful.

Restraint of speech invites me to listen carefully and to think before I speak--something that I can easily forget to do. I do not need to share every thought or impulse that passes through my mind. I do not always need to be the center of attention or the greatest conversationalist. It is okay to sit back, listen, and reflect once in a while. As the book of Proverbs reminds us today, the prudent person (the wise and mature person) restrains their lips. That does not mean that they never speak but rather that speech follows reflection and thought. This restraint makes the person's words more valuable.

May I continue to grow in my restraint of speech and my appreciation of silence.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Humility--Facing Truth

It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes. The law of thy mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces. Thy hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn thy commandments. RSV.Ps 119.71-73

Humility invites me to face the truth about myself. There are many times when I would prefer to remain in my fantasy that I am in control of my life and destiny. The fiction that I am a self-made person able to maneuver successfully through life by myself. At these times, it seems as though MYSELF is all I need in this world.

In reality, though, I know a different truth. I am not self-sufficient. And I am rarely in control of anything...even when I think I am. I am both dependent and interdependent.

• I am interdependent on others. I need others to help me think, to keep me honest and accountable, to balance me back into reality at times. I also need others to encourage me to stretch beyond what I might normally want to do.


• I am dependent on God. Without God's love and mercy, I would cease to be. It is God's grace that allows me to experience any success or accomplishments I might achieve. All of life is pure gift from God.

Psalm 119. 71-73 (referenced in RB80.7.54) speak of the good that comes from learning humility through life. It is in realizing my dependence on God and interdependence on others that I am able to practice righteous living in the world. It is through acknowledging that I do not have all the answers or that I am not the expert on everything that I learn to listen to the wisdom of God and others and to be open to diversity. Everyone does not always have to see things my way. In recognizing my dependence on God, I learn how to live the commandments authentically in my life.

What am I doing today to remain open to God's voice in my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

True Humility

The sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given, saying to himself with the Prophet: I am insignificant and ignorant, no better than a beast before you, yet I am with you always (Ps 72[73]:22-23). RB80.7.49-50

Humility deals with the truth. It is the awareness of who I am without much pretense. It is an acknowledgement that in the great scheme of things I fall somewhere in the middle of the pile. I am not the best or the worst, the first or the last. In a sense, I am with everyone else in the middle somewhere...and that is really okay. My identity and worth is not necessarily attached to being #1 all of the time. It is actually freeing to just be with everyone else.

This is not a vote for mediocrity. It is just an awareness that it is only through God's grace that I possess skills, talents, and life. It is God's gift and constant Presence that allow me to be successful in my endeavors. All of my accomplishments are actually due to God's love and mercy.

The passage from Psalm 72[73] which concludes today's reading recalls the reality of God's constant presence and guidance in daily life. In the RSV Bible, verse 23 speaks not only of God's presence but also that God holds me by the hand--in a sense, leading me along the paths of life. This thought is comforting since it seems to say that if I am willing to let God lead me through life (rather than fight for an illusion of control) God will be there--not just sometimes but all of the time. What more could I ask for?

May I continue to grow in my awareness of God's presence in my daily life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Being Accountable

The fifth step of humility is that a man does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly. RB80.7.44

Manifestation of thoughts (exagoreusis) is the ancient custom of revealing all thoughts, impulses and emotions present in one's consciousness. It is the way in which a sincere seeker could bring out hidden inclinations to be observed and if necessary eradicated. It was a way in which tendencies and impulses could be assessed before they became either sin, passions or ingrained patterns of being.

Although I was unfamiliar with the concept until after entered our community, I grew up with a sense of something similar to this practice. During adolescence, I discovered that a multitude of thoughts seemed always be traveling through my head. It was often easy for me to obsess on my thoughts--sometimes to the point of not being able to break the hold of these thoughts. The only thing that seemed to relieve some of my more insistent ideas was to find a trusted person to tell these obsessive thoughts to--or write them down if no one suitable was available.

What these actions did was get the thoughts outside of myself and allow me to look at them a little more objectively. I could separate from the confusion in my mind and see more clearly the direction toward which this chain of thinking was leading me. It also gave an ability to stop before I acted impulsively at times. Another benefit that I found in this getting stuff out of my brain was that if I could see it more clearly, I could also come up with an action plan that might help me avoid future problems. In a sense, it gave me the ability to be accountable. If a particularly troublesome idea kept emerging, I could make plans to stop it earlier in the future.

One of the new insights I received through this process was that the thoughts that I could either write down or share with another were less likely to present themselves again as readily. In a sense, if I knew that I was going to have to be accountable for the same impulse sometime soon I was less likely to fall prey to it. That is one of the benefits to the concept of manifestation of thoughts...there is an accountability factor that takes hold.

Today, I am grateful for the many ways in which I can grow in my self-knowledge and on my path to holiness.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

In the Sight of Angels

This week the Church celebrates two feasts in honor of angels. Today is the feast of Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, Archangels. On October 2, we celebrate the feast of the Guardian Angels.


St. Benedict reminds us today that God and his angels are watching us 24/7. When I was a young child, I had a very literal idea of what God's presence and the presence of the angels meant. I fully believed that God and the angels were with me everywhere and that they had a personal concern in my daily well-being. I found that a very comforting thought. Since I was an only child until the I was 8, I developed the concept that angels were my constant playmates.

Of course, as I grew older, I changed my perception of what this watchful care of God and angels meant to me personally. I found that I tended much more toward hiding from God at times--especially when I was wanting to run from God's presence and vigilance or when I was desiring a vacation my relationship with God.

Today, I want to be in closer union with God. I am tired of running away. I desire to live closer to my values and the qualities that I long to incorporate in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Base Desires

Truly, we are forbidden to do our own will, for Scripture tells us: Turn away from your desires (Sir 18:30). RB80.7.19

There are days when I seem to desire living in a fantasy world--times when daydreaming and constructing imaginary empires are the rule of the day. These are not necessarily my best
days--at least not my most productive days. On these occasions, I can spend hours planning the future and thinking of outcomes that are not meant to be.

Fantasy can quickly move me from reality. At times, my dream world can seem more appealing that what is happening around me. Benedict was aware of the tendency to desire to have things my way--with the outcomes that I can manufacture in my imagination. He uses a piece of wisdom from the book of Sirach. This verse comes from a larger section of pithy statements about the value of self-control and reflection in life.

One translation of this verse from Sirach speaks of following base desires and restraining appetites (NRSV) instead. What do I need to do to make sure that I am not following every whim or inclination that passes through my awareness?

1. I can practice observing my thoughts and become familiar with the source of my thoughts. Which thoughts or impulses are leading toward God and which can potentially lead me away from my true goal.


2. Become familiar with silence so that I can be more attuned to God's voice within my heart.


3. Remain connected with God throughtout the day--calling on God's assistance at random points of the day.

Sr. Catherine

The Fear of God

The first step of humility, then, is that a man keeps the fear of God always before his eyes (Ps35[36]:2) and never forgets it. RB80.7.10

What is the significance of fear when considered in the context of fear of God? What does the fear of God mean? What does it look and feel like? Can fear ever be experienced in a positive light?

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, one of the definitions of fear is to have a reverential awe of someone or something. This definition implies that I have an awareness of a separation between myself and the object of my awe. In looking at the fear of God, I recognize that I am not God and God is much greater than I am.

Taking this definition of fear, then, fear of God is an experience of being in wonder and awe at the magnitude of God. It is like being so aware of the immensity of love, goodness and compassion that reside within God and only being able to say WOW!!!!! or OMG!!!!! (as an expression of wonder to the point of speechlessness--rather than just as a comment).

Today, Benedict invites me to remember the great immensity of God not with trembling but with gratitude, reverence and awe. When I am honest with myself, I can readily agree that it is wonderful to recognize that God is with me in everything that I do and that God provides the necessary grace and strength needed to live well. It is when I forget and try to take back God's power that I can get into trouble.

During one of my lapses (where I was a little confused about whether God or Catherine was actually God), a friend of mine recommended a short fragment from the New Testament to remember--apart from me you can do nothing (from John 15:5). At the time I really did not find the quote particularly appealing but as I have reflected on this piece over that last few months I have come to appreciate the wisdom that is contained in those few short words. It helps me to keep my balance and perspective when I remember this line. It has also reminded me that the whole world does not necessarily depend on me.

As I look at the first step of humility today, I desire to continue living with an awareness of the fear of God.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Stability of Place and Heart

The workshop where we are to toil faithfully at all these tasks is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community. RB80.4.78

At the end of this chapter, Benedict states that the place where all of these tools are to be employed is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community. Focusing on the concept of stability will bring us to a deeper understanding how the tools can be applied to all. There are two kinds of stability that can be examined--stability of place and stability of heart.

• Stability of place can be seen as staying in one location--similar to the concept of the enclosure. It involves physical presence. I show up for all required events.



• Stability of heart implies commitment and perseverence. I am ready to participate. I am fully engaged in all that happens around me. I am ready to stick around to see the fruits of my labor in this workshop.

One of the benefits of living with 20 other monastic women is that there are always plenty of live examples of all of the qualities mentioned in the Rule.

Sister Cabrini Boland is a wonderful model for us of stability of heart. At 91 years of age and after more than 70 years in our community, she is always an example of enthusiasm and wisdom. Recently, while wheeling Sr. Cabrini outside she asked to visit our St. Benedict statue and recited various passages from the Rule of St. Benedict. The ease with which she spoke these few short passages spoke of her long years of living the monastic way of life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Living in Truth

Rid your heart of all deceit. RB80.4.24

Never give a hollow greeting of peace RB80.4.25

Bind yourself to no oath lest it prove false, but speak the truth with heart and tongue. RB80.4.27-28

Wonder what our world would look like if corporate leaders or leaders of nations were asked to speak the truth from their heart when dealing with mergers, corporate buy outs or issues of world economy or peace? Would there be an increase in compassion and a decline in greed? Would there be less suspicion among people? Would there be an increased desire to work cooperatively since more honesty and openness would be present?

These are some of the questions that arose as I listened to our reading from the Rule of St. Benedict today (Chapter 4: The Tools of Good Works). Since most corporate officials or world leaders are unlikely to adopt this way of being, then what can I do to help my corner of the world? How can I act differently in everyday life to impact the world around me?

• I can act truthfully in my dealings--being sincere and direct in speech and action.


• Become aware of my motivations and my impulses so that I can be a person of integrity but not at the expense of others dignity and value.


• Remain grounded in prayer. Pray before I speak or act so that my speech and actions might proclaim God to others.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Listening for the Spirit

As often as anything important is to be done in the monastery, the abbot shall call the whole community together and himself explain what the business is; and after hearing the advice of the brothers, let him ponder it and follow what he judges the wiser course. RB80.3.1-2

In making community decisions, Benedict asks that the leader call everyone together to discuss anything considered to be important for the whole group. This directive does not imply that everything needs to be discussed as a group--that could be somewhat unwieldy, especially if the community is large or if there are many issues to be decided.

The emphasis on all being asked about important matters is to allow the voice of the Holy Spirit to be heard by the superior through whatever channels might be available. The leader is remain open to the possiblity that the youngest or the oldest member might have some insight that might otherwise be missed or glossed over if the decision were not put before the entire group. After prayfully hearing what all have to say on the particular matter, the final decision still remains with the leader to do what is judged to be the best for the group. There is no assurance or obligation to follow the advice received if the superior sees a different course of action than what is suggested. The community's input is totally consultative in nature.

This passage reminds me to remain open to a wide variety of alternatives when making decisions; whether they be personal or ministry based decisions. I am also reminded of the responsibility I have to share my thoughts and concerns about issues that may have an impact on my life and the life of others. I need to remember to share my insights respectfully and humbly, not attaching my entire self-worth on the outcome or on the brilliance of my reasoning. I recently heard someone compare sharing of opinions and insights in a group to offering apples (or some other snack) to others. If someone in the group does not particularly care to accept what I am sharing or offering, I can detach from my opinions enough to understand that the person is not necessarily rejecting me as a person. Thinking in this way can allow me to place enough distance between myself and my thoughts so that when someone questions my suggests or does not agree it's not about ME as a person but actually about the suggestion.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leadership

The abbot must always remember what he is and remember what he is called, aware that more will be expected of a man to whom more has been entrusted. RB80.2.30

Luke 12.35-48 gives us the scenario of a lord of an estate that is on a journey. The property is left in the care of the servants. When the master returns, the expectation is that the servants will be ready to open the gates and resume their responsibilites of service. The time of the return is uncertain so it is important to be watchful and aware at all times for the unexpected arrival. The servants do not want to be caught off guard because the potential for severe punishment would exist. The servant is expected to be ready at all times.

Benedict uses this passage to re-emphasize the responsibility that is part of leadership. This verse is the seventh time that Benedict reminds the superior of the duties inherent in leading a group. Benedict reminds the superior that since more has been placed in her care still more will be required in accountability.

Although I may not be the leader of our monastic community, there are still occasions when I am called to take on a leadership role for a specific group, function, or time. Here are some lessons that can be applied in my life:

• Every occasion to lead comes from God--I am not in this endeavor on my own and it also is not dependent on ME and my amazing skills. It's actually more about God's grace active in the group.


• I am only filling a needed role for a time.


• Example and word need to be joined in order to better deliver the message.


• Individual persons and respect are much more important than outcomes.

Leadership carries with it many rewards and great responsibility. When assigned leadership tasks, I need to remember what part I play in the larger picture and to rely on God for the graces needed for success.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Cutting Out Sin

He should not gloss over the sins of those who err, but cut them out while he can, as soon as they begin to sprout, remembering the fate of Eli, priest of Shiloh (1 Sam 2:11-4:18). RB80.2.26

The superior is not to overlook the sins of the followers but address them as soon as they begin to appear. For most of my life, I have been a follower of rules. Although I am not terribly well disciplined or structured, I do understand how rules and guidelines make life function much more smoothly for families, teams, offices, classrooms, etc. Anytime a group gathers to interact there has to be a designated leader and agreed upon boundaries. Otherwise, life becomes utter chaos at best. Image trying to navigate traffic if everyone could set their own laws and standards of behavior.

Benedict understood that there needed to be some structures in place to deal with wrongdoing--whether it be intentional, through ignorance or through malice. He also understood that it is much easier to deal with issues before they become ingrained in us as habits or patterns. In his teaching, Benedict refers to the story of Eli and his sons from 1 Samuel. This passage places the sons of Eli next to the youth Samuel as a contract to one another. While the sons of Eli would abuse the people and even steal from the ritual sacrifice for their own benefit; Samuel is shown to be a youth committed to serving the Lord in the temple and being in close relationship to God. Samuel is called by God in the middle of the night and given a message for Eli about his sons and their behavior. Even after the message is delivered, Eli seems helpless in getting his sons to acknowledge their wrongdoing and repent. Therefore the sons of Eli are slaughtered in battle and Samuel continues to thrive in God's presence.

Although I might not be at the level of Eli's sons, there is a tendency within me at times to try to cut corners or at least to seek an easier way in life. It's okay to coast through life every once in a while (at least it seems like a good idea at the time). The problem is that once I start to cut corners--I quickly can get sloppy and lazy. What started out as a one time thing soon becomes a way of life. It is easier not to allow myself that much of a break in routine. I need to be watchful of the ways in which I can justify my actions and relax my normal patterns a little too much. Then it is easier to increase in virtue (which is my fundamental desire in life).

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Set Apart Through Good Works and Humility

Only in this are we distinguished in his sight: if we are found better than others in good works and in humility. RB80.2.21

I like to be special and set apart. I like to be the one noticed, the one praised and held up for some reason.

Benedict today gives us the criteria for being set apart in community. We are to be raised to a different level of honor only if we are found to be better than others in good works and in humility. So, if I am looking to be praised then I need to make a conscious decision to serve others to the best of my ability and to be selfless in that service. I am to do the service freely out of compassion and concern not out of a desire to receive reward, admiration or adulation. Actually, in order for this to be a truly selfless act done in humility, it needs to be done with no expectation of any notice. I almost needs to be done quietly and secretly.

My tendency is to announce my good works every step of the way so that others can recognize the effort made. Unfortunately, as a friend of mine reminds me often, if I announce my selfless deeds they really weren't that selfless or meritorious from the start. Also, in these situations, I already received my acknowledgement, so probably most of the merit is reduced.

I long to be more generous in my actions and less self-centered. May God give me the grace necessary to accomplish this.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Running Toward God

I have always been fascinated with things that move quickly--runners, rabbits, rushing water, airplanes. Things that move at a dizzying speed have always attracted my attention. I also set a goal on speed for myself. I think that what attracted me most about rapidly moving objects was the energy and force that are present. Since I am a very high energy person, I can easily relate to things that carry lots of vibrancy within them.

Today, Benedict speaks of running to do in obedience what will gain us eternal life while there we still have time to renounce our former way of life. There seems to be an urgency in this invitation to leave my former attitudes, ways, opinions behind and to start with fervor on this new path toward God and eternal life.

Part of me would like to believe that my decision to abandon my former way of life was a one time deal that was completed years ago when I entered the monastery. I am realistic enough to know however that this is an on-going, life-long process. That is both good and bad news for me. The good news is that I can always start over again and re-commit myself to this process of spiritual growth. The bad news is that I will never reach the finish line where I can just sit back and coast through life on my merit. That is not part of this journey.

My question today is: What can I do to help myself keep the initial energy of my original commitment going today?

• I can set aside a few minutes daily to recall where God has blessed me each day.


• I can call on God's grace and mercy to be with me during the day--something to do while I am waiting in traffic for the light to change, waiting for an appointment, sitting on hold on the phone.


• I can remind myself to stop and take a breath (especially when I am in a frenzied mode about whatever is happening in life). The ability to stop and take a few breaths can do wonders to calm and refocus me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Opening My Eyes and Ears

Let us open our eyes to the light that comes from God, and our ears to the voice from heaven that every day calls out this charge: If you hear his voice today, do not harden your hearts (Ps 94[95]:8). RB80.Prol.9-10

Today's invitation is to open my eyes and my ears to God and God's grace in my life. It is an call to be alert and aware of what is happening both around me and within me.

Since I am an extreme extrovert, I find it easy to focus on what is going on in my environment. I get energized and engaged looking at all the pretty shiny things that are occurring around me--sights, sounds, movement, swirls of activity quickly grab my attention...until the next distraction comes by.

Part of today's proposal is to pay attention to the stirrings within me. That is something that I can easily ignore since I am busy with all the activity outside. It is in looking within, though, that I find God speaking in the depths of my heart. It is by going within rather that outward that I discover who I am called to be and where my strength and value lies.

This journey within does not seem as glamourous and exciting. Actually, it seems terrifying, at times, since I don't really know what I will find or if I will like who I am after the experience. That is where the challenge and the adventure are. When I can see this scary exploration as a new adventure I can focus on the new information that is unearthed and see it as growth both as a person and in my relationships. This reframing of the experience makes it more palatable to me since I am always looking for new experiences in life.

Psalm 95 invites me to open my ears and my heart to the voice of God within my life. What new adventure is God calling me to at this moment? May I have the courage to accept the challenge offered to me today.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Matter of Will

Today we begin the Prologue of the Rule once again. We are back at the beginning for another cycle of reading and study.

The question posed today by the reading is: Willingness or willfulness--which of these would best characterize my personality and my life? Although the root word is the same, there a distinct difference between the two concepts. Willingness implies an openness that offers a possibility for change and growth. Willfullness connotes a tendency toward doing my own will--sometimes to my detriment. The will itself is a good but it is the way that I choose to use it that can makes the difference.

There are times in my life that have been highlighted by both. As I begin this new round,

• am I willing to listen to God's voice inviting me to open my heart to the possibility for growth or am I choosing to cling to my own way of doing things?


• am I willing to follow my community's way of doing things even when my own particular method seems to be more efficient?


• am I open to the possibility that others around me might have a fuller vision of life and wisdom or do I insist on maintaining my own views, opinions and attitudes?

Today, as I begin this new reading of the Rule, may I be open to the possibilities of growth that are presented to me through life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Rule for Beginners

Are you hastening toward your heavenly home? Then with Christ's help, keep this little rule that we have written for beginners. RB80.73.8

This verse from the conclusion of the Rule with it's allusion to the letter to the Hebrews (Hebrews 4:11; 11:14-16) takes us back to the Prologue where we set out on the journey in the service of Christ. We have come full circle.

After having read, studied and prayed through the text of the Rule, I am reminded that I am still only a beginner on the journey. This is a life-long project--not a once in a lifetime event. There is no real graduation from the school of the Lord's service...there may be progress in the life yet there is no real completion of the course.

This realization can be heartening and disheartening in a sense. Heartening and encouraging, since there is no expectation of perfection along this road. All that is needed is to be willing to grow daily (conversion). There is always the assurance that right effort and intention are what is necessary for this life. It is discouraging in the fact there will always be something that can be improved upon. There is no coasting through life, if I am serious about my progress.

Now we prepare to begin another season of study of the Rule, starting with the Prologue once again...remembering that we are truly beginners on this journey.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Trusting in God's Help

Trusting in God's help, he must in love obey. RB80.68.5

There are times in life when the tasks before me seem to take on a life and power of their own. They can seem to be insurmountable and beyond my abilities to accomplish. At times like this, my natural tendency is to become paralized by focusing on the immensity of the challenge rather than using the skills I have to break the "mountain" down into easily mastered pieces. This tendency to over-focus on my perceived deficit rather than my strengths and resiliency is pretty counter-productive because in the end I am usually fearful, confused and frustrated as well as overwhelmed.

This scenario can be turned around will a little bit of creativity and a realistic assessment of the actual issues involved. Benedict knew that there would be times when this could happen in his community, so he included Chapter 68 in the Rule which addresses the performance of what seem to be impossible tasks. In 5 short verses, Benedict acknowledges that a person might be asked to perform a challenging task (one that might seem burdensome and even impossible). He sets up a simple process for addressing the issue. First, the person is to humbly accept the task and try to fulfill the demand. If this proves to be too difficult, then the person may ask to speak to the leader and patiently explain what the obstacles being faced are. If even then the request remains, the person is to accept the challenge as being for the best and trust in God's grace to provide the strength and skills necessary.

When faced with a daunting task (or one that seems so to me), I need to remember to refocus, think and trust in God, in the wisdom of the superior and in the support of the community.

• I need to refocus because obsessing over my frailty and sense of lack will only paralize me further. I need to take a breath and calmly look at the individual steps in a new and creative way. Once I can break the job done into multiple small steps than I can see my progress and also make the job for manageable. I don't need to climb the whole mountain in one leap--I can take it on step at a time. It also keeps me moving forward and out of paralysis.


• Thinking puts me in control of the situation rather than holding me hostage to my fears. By assessing the task and getting a new perspective on it, I can chart the course that the project can take and even surprise myself with my own abilities.


• Trusting in God, in the wisdom of leadership, and in the support of the community is important for me to remember because it is only through the grace of God and the love and support of others that I can do anything. Although I would like to believe that I am in control and self-sufficient, I need to remember that it is God alone who can provide what I lack within myself if I ask. Also I need to acknowledge that I do not possess full wisdom and others might see a latent talent within me that I cannot see yet. In trusting, even when asked to do what seems daunting, I have often surprised myself in my own strength and ability. I have been able to do many things that I never would have imagined.

May I always remember to trust in God's mercy when faced with overwhelming challenges.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Enclosure of the Monastery

Today's reading from the Rule of Benedict (RB 67) addresses the separation between the monastery/monastic community and the rest of the world. The concept of fuga mundi or flight from the world seems to be connected with this idea of breaking from society, culture and the world beyond the gates of the enclosure.

While this is still true in some cases, our world does put us in contact with many of the issues concerning our lives today. Through the increase of technology and access to various forms of media, we have the world coming into our offices, living rooms and homes daily. This access is good since it does make us more aware of what is happening around us. It allows us to be able to pray for those who suffer, accompany those who grieve, take a stand against injustice and oppression.

It can also be a challenge to remain faithful to our monastic commitments. This new access to the world invites me to allow myself to find my strength within the tradition in which I have been formed. It encourages me to look within myself and the community to find my response to the world--a faithfilled, prayerful response. I wish I could say that I do this perfectly everyday...that would be a nice goal for which to strive. I can say that on my good days I can see myself growing in compassion and wisdom (even though sometimes it's only in baby steps).

I am fortunate to live with a group of faithful women who have shown me through their example that living this life can make an impact in society, culture and the world as well as within me personally. I pray to daily grow in my commitment to this way of life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Wandering Through Life

At the door of the monastery, place a sensible old man who knows how to take a message and deliver a reply, and whose age keeps him from roaming about. RB80.66.1

Then, there will be no need for the monks to roam outside, because this is not at all good for their souls. RB80.66.7

There are days when I am particularly anxious to find a distraction in my life...any distraction is fine, just something to relieve my boredom, make life interesting or amuse me when I really do not want to deal with the present moment. Benedict seems to be familiar with something similar occuring is his community. In setting up the role of the porter (receptionist at the door), Benedict clearly states twice that wandering, roaming around, or looking for distractions are not highly value qualities.

Benedict seems to say that this desire to escape the dailiness of life can be a sign of immaturity and is not helpful to the health of the soul. If I keep running away everytime something is difficult, then I am probably impeding my own growth--growth in holiness, growth in maturity, growth in virtue. I am never discover my true potential. I may miss many opportunities to both realize my own weakness and vulnerabilities and my inner strength.

I am a person who rarely wants to miss out on new adventures. If I can learn to focus on the potential for new experiences when tempted to run away and find something more interesting, I will see even the painful or the mundane as opportunities for greater growth and success.

When tempted to go through life hopping from distraction to distraction I need to remember to stop and ask myself: What new opportunity for growth am I trying to avoid.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Wisdom of the Young and the Elders

Absolutely nowhere shall age automatically determine rank. Remember that Samuel and Daniel were still boys when they judged their elders (1Sam3; Dan 13.44-62). RB80.63.5-6

One of the blessings of my life is the opportunity that I have had to live with people of various ages most of my life. Growing up, grandparents, great-grandparents, and older relatives and family friends were always included as part of our home structure. Our home was multigenerational by design. Although I did not fully appreciate it at the time, this aspect of my early years has had a significant impact on most of my life and on building my character. I am grateful for the experience.

In my 25+ years as a member of this monastic community, I have also been fortunate to have developed many relationships across our various age groups. I treasure the many lessons that I have learned from our elders--lessons of faith, lessons of fidelity, lessons of courage, strength and grace. I am indeed very fortunate in this way.

Here are some of the bits of wisdom that I have learned along the way:

• Life does not always have to move at a fast speed. There is a gentleness acquired in doing things slowly and thoughtfully.


• Plan ahead for life--learn a hobby, develop some leisure time activities, keep acquiring new skills. It is important to have skills in place for a happy and healthy future.


• Take time to listen. There is life wisdom to be learned in hearing stories from the past.


• Remain faithful to values. There are many things that can clutter my life, I need to remember the essentials.


• Be patient and loving--with others and with myself. Sometimes the hardest lesson is to remember to be patient with myself and not take myself so seriously.

What life lessons am I imparting on others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Do Unto Others

Do to no one what you yourself dislike. New American Bible(NAB), Tobit 4.15a

This brief reference to the Tobit's advice to his son, Tobiah, is part of the foundation to today's reading from the Rule of Benedict. Today's passage is considering the fact that some who might visit the monastery from other monasteries might possibly request to remain as a member rather than as a guest. Benedict seems to understand that there are reasons where this might be appropriate but he does caution that care should be taken that the person to be received has the permission of their superior. He quotes this passage from Tobit which is very similar to the Golden Rule that many learned in childhood.

This is good advice for monastic life and also applicable in various other life situations. When on a team, good sportsmanship, even in the face of loss or unfair calls, is valued. In the business world, taking your competitor's prized employee is not always the best business move. Being so competitive that I have to be the lead in every performance--always being center stage is not necessarily a skill that will win me many friends.

I need to remember the needs of others. I need to continue practicing the lessons that I learned about sharing and being a team member when I was growing up. As our new academic years begin and as we prepare for the coming of autumn, I need to use some of those skills I learned as a child to navigate this world.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Promising Stability, Fidelity to Monastic Life, and Obedience

When he is to be received, he comes before the whole community in the oratory and promises stability, fidelity to monastic life and obedience. RB80.58.17

In this chapter that addresses the reception of new members into the group, Benedict spells out for us the substance of this new way of life. The novice stands in the oratory (in a sense the place designated as the true heart of the monastery) before the entire group and publicly accepts stability, fidelity to this new way, and obedience.

Stability is the ability to remain focused to my initial intention. It is the ability to maintain at least a faint memory of the youthful fervor that inspired me to join in the first place. I need to remind myself of those first stirrings of God within my heart especially when the dailiness of life can threaten to undermine my resolve to be the best I can be.

Fidelity to monastic life calls me daily to reaffirm commitment to personal growth and to holiness of life. I need reminders at times of my progress (I am not the same person who undert00k this endeavor 20+ years ago) and to be willing to learn from mistakes and move forward even when life gets a little tough. I also need to ask for the humility necessary for those times when I need to rely on the community to help me through my days. A good sense of humor comes in handy on those days.

Obedience calls me to be a "listener." I need to be able to listen to God, others, myself, and daily experiences. These are all ways through which I can learn how to live a better and more sane life.

Although the promises that we take in community are specific to monasticism, the life lessons and values which are implicit within these are valuable for all who desire growth and peace within their lives.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Aiming at Fairness

The abbot, however, must always bear in mind what is said in the Acts of the Apostles: Distribution was made to each one as he had need (Acts 4:35). In this way the abbot will take into account the weaknesses of the needy, not the evil will of the envious...RB80.55.20-21

Growing up in a family that did not always have lots of extras, I remember waiting for Friday payday when our family would go grocery shopping and possibly get our weekly supply of treats-- either candy or chips or soda (whatever it might be). I trying to make sure that I made at least as many trips to the fridge for snacks as everyone else did so that I would not miss out and have to wait until the following Friday. I wanted a system that provided equality for all. I was always quick to notice when someone else might be getting more than I thought I deserved.

In this chapter on the needs of the individuals, Benedict is quick to acknowledge that there can be occasion for potential rivalry. This tendency is possible whether in a family, a team, an office or a community. Basically, in any situation where more than two persons are working together, the temptation for comparisons can exist.

Benedict refers back to a passage from the Acts of the Apostles which tried to curtail this tendency. This reference describes the original community as one where everyone could feel assured that their needs would be addressed and no one would have to suffer excessive lack. This model sounds great but is very difficult to live.

In my present life, I try to assess within myself whether a request I make might be coming from a real need or just a whim or a desire to have exactly what everyone else has (whether I need it or not). Navigating the fine distinction between needs and wants can be tricky--but can be done if I remain self-aware and pay attention to where my desires and motivations are coming from. Is this something that will encourage my growth or just something that happens to catch my eye because it is new and exciting?

How am I living my life today aware of my needs and motivations?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Benefitting Others with Humility

No one should presume to read or sing unless he is able to benefit the hearers; let this be done with humility, seriousness and reverence, and at the abbot's bidding. RB80.47.3-4

In community, as in families, many of the tasks are parcelled out among the different members. In addressing community prayer, Benedict advices that those who perform special tasks within the liturgy need to be those who have special skill and training.

The reader, for example, is not to be just anyone who happens to walk up and pick up the book randomly. The cantor or prayer leader should be someone who can lead the community in prayer without drawing undue attention to himself. The service needs to lead the person back to God and to praise.

This issue can be troublesome at times if I happen to consider myself extremely talented in whatever service I am performing. For example, if I know that I am a trained musician and use the opportunity to be the cantor to draw admiration for my great voice, I am taking away from the service I am providing. It might even be considered a distraction for others who are present intending to pray.

There can be a very fine line between being willing to share my skills for the glory of God and calling the praise to myself. I need to remind myself often what the real purpose of my service is.

How am I serving God today through the full use of my talents?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Cultivating Silence

Monks should diligently cultivate silence at all time, but especially at night. RB80.42.1


Silence is an important monastic value. The ability to be maintain stillness and quiet within life is a skill that eludes many of us in today's culture that is often desired. There is always an abundance of sensory stimulus that hinders us from being able to maintain any semblance of inner quiet--iPods, cell phones, pagers, im, facebook, etc.

How can I best establish an inner peace within myself?

1. Establish a tech free zone in my day. Resist the temptation to go to sleep and awaken with facebook.


2. Find random moments within my day to just breath and call on God's name to remind me of God's Presence within my life.


3. Start my day with a recommitment to doing God's will.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

My Gift

Everyone has his own gift from God, one this and another that (1 Cor 7:7). RB80.40.1





In addressing the proper amount of drink within the monastery, Benedict refers to this passage from the letter to the Corinthians which focuses on the gift which is present within each person. It is a passage that does not just speak of individual giftedness but also points to the grace which is present in each life.





In a broader context, it reminds me that it is the grace of God, God's special gift to me, that allows me to have the strength which is necessary not only to face the struggles of the day but also to be a sign of God's love to all I meet.

Weighed Down Hearts

Our Lord says: Take care that your hearts are not weighed down with overindulgence (Luke 21:34). RB80.39.9

Today's passage is talking about food and eating. Basically, Benedict is advocating avoiding overindulgence or obsession about food within the monastery and in life.

Although I am definitely a person who loves food. I get pleasure from eating. I enjoying playing with food (one of the reasons I like baking yeast bread from scratch); I like planning meals. I am definitely about food, I do try not to obsess about it too much.

But if my heart is not weighed down with thoughts of food, what are the things that can distract me from single-hearted focus on God? Afterall, one of the hallmarks of monastic life is seeking God in all things.

• I can be destracted by my own plans and vision of life. I can be an extreme planner and totally miss the message that God is imparting today by focussing only on MY plans.


• I can easily be sidetracked by fear. I am not a fan of pain so will often take what looks like the more agreeable plan in order to avoid discomfort.


• I am a dreamer so I can easily get stuck in how things should be and miss the beauty of God's plan.


• I can sometimes be attracted to the glamour of being in control. Control can often seduce me into focusing on myself and my image rather than on reality and God's plans.

This are all things that can weigh my heart down and distract me from my true goal of seeking God in all things and listening to God's word.

What am I doing today to avoid being weighed down by illusions?

Prayer: The Better Remedy

After he has applied compresses, the ointment of encouragement, the medice of divine Scripture, and finally the cauterizing iron of excommunication and strokes of the rod, and if he then perceives that his earnest efforts are unavailing, let him apply an even better remedy: he and all of the brothers should pray for him so that the Lord, who can do all things, may bring about the health of the sick brother. RB80.28.4-6

This selection comes towards the end of the section of the Rule that is considered a penal code of sorts. It comes after the various types of faults committed and the advised consequence have been addressed. It comes also after the section on excommunication (exclusion) for the group for significant problems.

It seems somewhat curious to me that Benedict reserves the use of prayer as a last resort remedy to whatever issue is at hand. It's as if to say once all that is humanly possible has been tried then turn to God for the answer. Maybe the point that Benedict is trying to make is that prayer needs to be accompanied by action. Sometimes, there can be the temptation to think that because I have prayed about an issue my responsibility has been fulfilled...now it's up to God to deal with it since I have prayed. Actually, it might need to be more like a partnership where I do pray and let God work on the outcome but also participate by taking concrete action also on whatever the issue may be.

There have been times in my life when I have been the person in need of prayer, healing and direction. There have also been times when I am on the side of accompanying those who might need the guidance. In both instances, I need to remember that I am in partnership with God and with my community on my life journey.

How am I remembering God's presence in my life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Reverence At Prayer

We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words. RB80.20.3

Purity of heart....that has been my major life desire since youth. For me, purity of heart is a combination of authenticity, sincerity, integrity and radical honesty. Those are all virtues that I strive for in my life and that I value in my relationships with others. But, how can I live fully engaged with life in this way fully? That has been my eternal question.

The second part of this verse--shedding tears of compunction in prayer seems to be the key to this query. Tears have always been a part of my life but they have never really been my friends. I do not enjoy showing that extremely vulnerable part of myself that is moved to tears by compassion, love, sadness, anger and even joy. I would really much rather spend my life being invulnerable and self-sufficient.

Today's reading invites me to put aside my veneer of composure and risk being human--fully human in the face of God and others. Life does not call me to be involunerable.

How am I living in truth with God today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Single-Heartedness

Teach me, Lord, your way that I may walk in your truth, single-hearted and revering your name. Ps. 86.11

One of my life-long prayers has been for a steadfast heart that is focused on God. Granted, this is definitely an ideal that is not likely to be reached during my lifetime yet I continue to pray daily for the grace of that purity of heart.

This single-hearted path is not one that comes casually, as in I wake up one morning and find myself suddenly transformed into a true model of faith. It is my life's task here within this community of monastic women. Ultimately, we all share the same journey and desire but it is also the work of the individual.

So...how do I achieve this in my life?

One thing I do is plan time at the beginning and end of my day to review my choices and actions of the day. I thank God for the good and seek God's grace to do better in the future. In a sense, I try to reaffirm my desire for fullness and holiness daily.

How can I be more aligned with God's will today?

Please join our monastic community in prayer as we celebrate the Jubilees of Monastic Profession of Sister Mary Cabrini Boland (70 years), Sister Mary Michael Schwarz (70 years), Sister Christine Ereiser, Prioress St. Joseph Monastery (25 years), and Sister Catherine Martinez (25 years)).

Sr. Catherine, OSB

God Come to my Assistance

Our community prayers begin daily with the following verse: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Everytime we gather as a group to pray we call on God's grace and mercy to be with us at that time.

This refrain doesn't just carry me through that prayer period, it helps me to remember at random times throughout the day that God is always present and ready to help. I just need to remember to call. That simple reminder, which really does nothing to change who God is, gives me the confidence I need to move forward in the day.

Being a person who thrives on being self-sufficient, I often forget to ask for help. This little verse reminds me daily who my real source of power is.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

An Attitude of Praise

The Prophet says: Seven times a day have I praised you (Ps 118[119]:164). RB80.16.1

Verse 1 of this chapter invites us to praise God seven times daily. If taken literally that would mean praying every three hours or so throughout the day. This invitation to prayer can also be seen as Benedict's reminder that the life of the faithful person needs to be rooted in a relationship with God. It is that constant connection which provides the graces and strength needed to face whatever the day might bring.

The early Christian community was familiar with this concept and developed ways to maintain that centeredness on God throughout the day. From this came the invocation of the name of Jesus which reminds us both of the power of the Name of God and keeps us connected in prayer in a very simple yet effective way.

I know that if I can start my day remembering God and my many blessings and continue to call on him during the empty spaces in my day, I am much more focused, present, and aware of the world around me. I find myself being more closely connected with life and more awake to the subtleties that I often miss. This awareness and connection is what I desire daily for myself.

How can I be more aware of God's presence in my life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Rising for the Glory Be

We are preparing to celebrate the great feast in honor of the Holy Trinity. On this feast we acknowledge the great mystery that God is Three--yet--One. Although there is only One God (One Person) there are three distinct roles within the One. In a sense, God is the first model of community available to us.

During the Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office), we traditionally stand and bow during the Doxology (Glory Be) at the conclusion of the psalms and the Benedictus and Magnificat (Gospel Canticles during prayer). We bow out of reverence to our Triune God and in acknowledgement of the wonder of the great mystery before which we stand and live.

There are countless times during my day when I stand before the presence of God in my ordinary encounters. If I truly believe that God exists within the heart of each person I meet and within each moment of my life, my day could be a perpetual bow to the presence of God in everything. Since this is not physically possible or practical, I need to work on cultivating an interior attitude which speaks of this reality. It needs to be an intention effort on my part. If I choose to live this reality, I might find myself more compassionate, accepting and a whole lot less stressed.

What small things can I do today to engender that attitude within my soul?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Living the Scriptures

The readings from the Rule at this point address community prayer--how the prayer is to be structured, what psalms are recited at each hour, all the practical aspects of praying as a group.

One of the things that strikes me from our passage from Chapter 10 of the Rule (today's selection) is the mention of the reading from Scripture being recited by heart. I happen to have a good memory and find memorizing selections from literature fairly easy. In order for me to be able to memorize and recite a piece fluidly, I need to make the passage part of who I am. I need to develop a relationship with it and incorporate it into my daily life.

That is what ideally should happen to my from praying the psalms daily and from my personal lectio. After engaging with Scripture daily over a period of time, whether 5 years, 50, 70 or a lifetime, ideally my own life would be a version of the Scripture....a vibrant retelling of God's message of love to the world.

I need to ask myself regularly: is the Gospel message that I am living authentic and life-giving? Is it the message that will attract others to follow Christ and to consider living our monastic way of life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being Blown by the Wind

...A talkative man goes about aimlessly on earth (Ps 139[140].12). RB80.7.58

I love to chatter...I could call it talking but truthfully it is mostly chattering; just something to do to keep myself entertained.

There are some benefits to this skill. For example, I am a great storyteller, which comes in handy when entertaining a group. I also feel comfortable speaking extemporaneously--I think quite well on my feet and can keep things going without too many awkward pauses. I come by this skill naturally and grew up in a home which was rarely without some sort of banter or communication.

There are instances where this skill can be a hindrance rather than an asset.

• One aspect of life which can be difficult is that sometimes I am not taken very seriously. I can spend so much time focused on just "talking" that at times I can come off looking pretty shallow and superficial.


• I have had to work a little harder than most to develop an authentic appreciation for silence, quiet and stillness. I have always longed for silence and been intrigued by it have had to consciously learn how to still myself enough to just be.


• As I mature, I have also come to realize that silence and stillness are essential for my own spiritual growth. This stillness helps me to focus and to strengthen my relationships with God and with others.

I long for a time when I will not feel so much feel as a leaf being blown by a restless wind but more like a rooted plant that is able to sway with the gentle breeze of God's love.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

No Need To Be a Superstar

The eighth step of humility is that a monk does only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by this superiors. RB80.7.55

I have a tendency to want to be the center of the universe always. This fact is blatantly obvious to most who have known me for very long.

The eighth step of humility, though, encourages me to consider the benefits which are available to those who are willing to be one of the group. I am challenged to be open to the fact that the group's wellbeing as well as the community wisdom might be more in tune with God's will for me. I do not have the answer to all issues. And as bright as I might be I am not always a fountain of wisdom and truth.

Sometimes that is hard for me to understand and accept. Afterall, I love doing things my way so why shouldn't I invite others to do things my way also? I need to remember that part of being a good community member is faithfulness to the common practices and support for the common good. Ultimately, what is good for the group will be good for me also. I just need to remember that.

Today's question for me is: What am I doing to build up community spirit and bonds?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Let the Truth Come to Light

The fifth step of humility is that a man does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly. RB80.7.44

There is a blessing in being a person who is so extroverted that there are few thoughts that cross my mind, actions committed or opinions held that my whole known world does not know about in it's entirety. The expression TMI (too much information:)) seems to have be formulated with me in mind.

While it can be a curse at times--as in I often find myself saying more than I should multiple times a day, it is also a great blessing and source of growth for me if used properly. It is a way for me to be able to hold myself accountable for my growth and to take responsibility for my missteps. Since I am a person that thrives on being super successful (if not perfect), I often find myself reflecting on my past actions and thoughts and striving always to improve and continue on the road that leads to God.

Since I am also a very social being, I try as much as possible to curb my attitudes and behaviors and make them at least be as consistent as possible with my own belief system and my values. It helps that I have tons of energy and do not believe in half measures of anything.

A question that I ask myself often is: Would I be embarrassed if others knew this about me? It helps keep me honest and sincere in life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Overcoming Through Love

They are so confident in their expectation of reward from God that they continue joyfully and say, 'But in all this we overcome because of him who so greatly loved us' (Rom. 8:37). RB80.7.39

In addressing the fourth step of humility (obedience under difficult, unfavorable, or even unjust conditions), Benedict brings out the idea that it is the love of God which permits us to face adversity and overcome hardships that come in life.

Love is the key to many of life's more difficult moments, God's love for us which brought us to life initially, the assurance of God's sacrificial love, which is present in Christ's victory on the cross, and God's loving care which carries us through life.

My response of love to God is also present at times of transition when I choose to open myself in love to God's gift of grace rather than continue along my own path which might appear more comfortable but is not necessarily the most life-giving option for me.

The love and support of my personal support system is another factor which helps to make my life more enjoyable. God created me to be able to live the fullness of life and happiness.

How am I contributing to the peace and joy of others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Willing Obedience

Furthermore, the disciples' obedience must be given gladly, for God loves a cheerful giver (2Cor 9.7). RB80.5.16

Today's reading takes obedience a step further than yesterday. While yesterday, I was invited to obey quickly and with eagerness, today the challenge is to obey cheerfully.

While there are some who are able to at least pretend to follow instructions willingly, I am definitely a person who lets others know if I do not agree with what is being required. For me this is usually evident in my non-stop complaining or in the half-hearted attitude in which I do things I would rather not do. (And I rarely do anything half-heartedly.) It can also be apparent in more subtle ways such as by finding a dozen other little things that need to be done that take me away from the task or by quietly suggesting to others that the required task is not all that important after all--there have to be better things to be doing right now.

When I give in to my tendency to deviate from the norm I find that I am not only hurting myself by wasting lots of time feeling miserable but I am also quietly tearing down community by inviting others to participate in my misery. When I stop and realize this I can usually find my way back to the group with God's help. I do need to be aware of that tendency, though, so that I not be hurting myself and dividing community in the process.

One question that I ask myself regularly is: What am I doing today to build community?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Unhesitating Obedience

The first step of humility is unhesitating obedience, which comes naturally to those who cherish Christ above all. RB80.5.1-2

The three vows which all monastics make at the time of profession are stability, conversion to the monastic way of life and obedience. Of the three, obedience has probably the one that has helped me grow the most in self-awareness over the years. Obedience is also the only one of the vows to which Benedict devotes an entire chapter.

At first glance, obedience does not seem to hold much appeal. In my early understanding, it was pretty simple--I was told to do something and I would (or should) do it without thought or question. That was definitely not an appealing concept, especially since I had grown up questioning anything and everything in sight. My obedience was more of a dialogue based obedience, if any.

In reading Chapter 5 of the Rule I was intrigued by the sense of immediacy that seemed to be attached to the virtue of obedience. Words like "unhesitating," "as soon as," "immediately," and "leaving the task unfinished" jumped out of the text at me and made me stop and consider what would cause such a spontaneous response.

In reading the first two verses of Chapter 5 I found my response this action comes "naturally to those who cherish Christ above all." Is this what I want for myself in life? Do I truly long to have Christ be the center and goal of my life? If so, then I need to open myself up to opportunities of self-sacrificing obedience daily to prepare myself to meet my goal.

What am I doing today to show unhesitating obedience today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Wisdom of the Young

The reason why we have said that all should be called for counsel is that the Lord often reveals what is better to the younger. RB80.3.3

In former days, it was often believed that the younger should be seen and not heard. The role of the young was to pay attention and learn from those with more life experience. That principle still contains valuable insight but there is a need to modify the concept also.

The young are often characterized by their creativity, their energy and their fresh perspective on issues. They can often provide a unique way of dealing with complex situations. Benedict makes reference to two passages from the Gospels to bring forth this point.

The passages Matt. 11.25 and Luke 10.21 emphasize the fact that there are instances where God can give the grace of wisdom and insight even to the youngest among us. This can be a hopeful sign for groups since it emphasizes that there is leadership potential which can be found in listening to the young.

How do I encourage the young to develop their leadership voice?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Revisiting the Shepherd

In this way, while always fearful of the future examination of the shepherd about the sheep entrusted to him and careful about the state of others' accounts, he becomes concerned also about his own, and while helping others to amend by his warnings, he achieves the amendment of his own faults. RB80.2.39-40

Once again, Benedict reminds the leader that his role is to be that of the shepherd of the flock; always aiming to assure that all are brought back safely. This time Benedict also adds the well being of the superior. So not only is the Prioress/Abbot responsible for all those others in community but also himself. This provides yet another reason for the superior to remember to teach by example as well as by words.

All of us have the role of leadership to others in big or small ways. It can be as an elder to the young, as a mentor to those new at a job, as a parent, a teacher or a coach. These all require that we model for one another the appropriate behaviors that are expected.

How am I being a good example in life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Walking the Talk

Again, if he teaches his disciples that something is not to be done, then neither must he do it, lest after preaching to others, he himself be found reprobate (1Cor 9:27)... RB80.2.13

It is said that actions speak louder than words. Today, Benedict reminds the Abbot/Prioress that there is a greater impact by living the preaching rather than simply preaching.

In 1 Corinthians, St. Paul uses the example of an athlete training for an important race. He speaks of the discipline that is required and the benefit to be earned. A person does not train seriously by telling others how things are to be done.

In the same way, a person does not learn to live according to the Gospel by wishing themselves into it. It takes hard work and trust in God's grace.

I need to ask myself regularly if I am training to live the Gospel better in my life each day.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Shepherding the Flock

Still, if he has faithfully shepherded a restive and disobedient flock, always striving to cure their unhealthy ways, it will be otherwise: the shepherd will be acquitted at the Lord's judgment. Then, like the Prophet, he may say to the Lord: I have not hidden your justice in my heart; I have proclaimed your truth and your salvation (Ps 39[40]:11), but they spurned and rejected me (Isa 1:2; Ezek 20:27). RB80.2.8-9

Benedict uses a mixture of Scriptural quotes and allusions to bring out the burden that is placed on the leader of a group. Benedict likens the superior to a shepherd who is caring for his flock. The shepherd is to do what can be done to direct the flock along safe paths. If even with the best efforts the flock still insists on it's own ways--the shepherd is relieved of the responsibility. There are only so many warnings or teachings that can be imparted on the group. After a while, the group will have to be accountable for their own behavior.

Benedict alludes to a passage from the book of the Prophet Ezekiel where God explains to the Prophet what will happen to the people if they are instructed to turn from their own ways and follow God. The Prophet will only be responsible for the outcome if he failed in his mission; if, however, he relays God's message of repentance and the people ignore it they are held accountable for their own actions and the Prophet is acquitted.

The Abbot or Prioress carries a teaching role as part of their task. If the leader does everything possible to guide the group in the right way, the community will be saved. If they choose to ignore the instructions, they are responsible for the consequences.

In a community, we are all responsible for the groups salvation. What am I doing to help my community grow in holiness?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Who is Your Shepherd?

Still loyal to the world by their actions, they clearly lie to God by their tonsure. Two or three together, or even alone, without a shepherd, they pen themselves up in their own sheepfolds, not the Lord's. RB80.2.7-8a

In listing the types of disciples found in the monastery, Benedict is dealing today with those who are pretending to be something they are not. Benedict uses the example of the monastic tonsure--which was a visible sign of monastic commitment. Those who try to live the life while still having one foot firmly planted in their former way of life. It is similar to trying to move forward while looking over one's shoulder at what was left behind. Although this type of motion might be possible for a short time, it gets tiresome, confusing and potentially dangerous after a while.

Benedict also makes an allusion to the story of the Good Shepherd who has built a relationship with his flock. In the Gospel of John, we are told that the shepherd and the sheep recognize one another. The sheep follow at the voice of the shepherd. Benedict gives us the example of those aforementioned people who have convinced themselves that they are follow God's will and directives while actually simply following what they like and find comfortable. This tendency can be destructive in community because it has the ability to set up separate factions within the whole.

Am I helping to build community or divide it by hanging on to my own will?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Kinds of Monks

First, there are the cenobites, that is to say, those who belong to a monastery, where they serve under a rule and an abbot. (RB80.1.2)

In listing the qualities of the types of persons found in groups, Benedict starts by addressing first those who belong to the general group and who choose to follow a common rule.

Every group has a variety of personalities involved in it:

• there are those who do only what is required and those who check to see how much they can stretch the boundaries,


• there are those who thrive on being part of a team and those who prefer to work alone,


• there are some who are born to lead and others who rebel against all authority.

All of these elements are necessary for a team to function well. There has to be boundaries that are set and obeyed (not necessarily liked by all) yet enough space for diversity. I need to realize that although I might want to be the center of the group at all times, there needs to be a measure of flexibility present that allows all to use their gifts and talents and to grow. I need to ask myself regularly if I am contributing something positive to the group or detracting from it.

What am I doing to enable the groups I belong to grow today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Falling Down and Getting Up Again

As the Apostle says: Do you not know that the patience of God is leading you to repent (Rom 2:4)? And indeed the Lord assures us in his love: I do not wish the death of the sinner, but that he turn back to me and live (Ezek 33:11). (RB80.Prologue.37-38)

I am very grateful that my personal salvation does not rely on myself and my own efforts. That reality is brought back to me day after day when I reflect on some of my personal choices and realize that taken by themselves (without God's mercy and grace) there are many times that I totally miss the mark.

It's not that I spend my days committing grave sins or harboring hatred and malice in my heart. It is much more a case of letting my own laziness or self-will get in the way of me being the person that I was created to be...my best self. There is definitely a measure of self-awareness that reminds me to turn back to God and the right road before I stray too far. That is a gift of God's grace to me. I resolve after each misstep to make a new start and to work at strengthening my commitment.

There is a story from the Desert Tradition (of Early Monasticism) that tells of a person asking an elder what the secret of life is. He explains that it is found in falling down and rising again as many times as it takes. The point is to continue getting up; no matter how difficult or discouraging it may seem. I can find some comfort in this saying since it implies that it is not perfection that is sought in life but a willingness to continue growing and moving along the path. I can do that much. I need to rely on God's grace and on the fellow travelers on the journey to help me get to the goal.

That is both heartening and humbling since I have to accept that fact that I cannot do this on my own strength. What am I doing today to help myself or others along the road of life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

God's Grace in Action

In just this way Paul the Apostle refused to take credit for the power of his preaching. He declared: "By God's grace I am what I am" (1 Cor 15:10). And again he said: "He who boasts should make his boast in the Lord" (2 Cor 10:17). RB80.Prologue.31-32

It is God's gracious gift of love and mercy that bring about the good and the successes of my life. Of my own efforts I am not able to accomplish anything that is directed toward the good and holy. At first glance this sounds a little harsh and somewhat self-deprecating, but it is true. It can also be a source of hope and encouragement for me in a sense.

If I am not responsible for making the "good" happen in my life, then I can focus more on just doing whatever needs to be done next. I can spend my extra energy on prayer, staying on the assigned course and being aware of God's presence in my life. It is truly through God's efforts that my successes can be recognized and I can participate in the improvement of the world.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Desiring Life

Is there anyone here who yearns for life and desires to see good days? (Ps. 33(34):13) If you hear this and your answer is "I do," God then directs these words to you: If you desire true and eternal life, keep your tongue free from vicious talk and your lips from all deceit; turn away from evil and do good; let peace be your quest and aim (Ps 33(34):14-15) RB80.Prologue.15-17

I love life...I love experiencing new things, adventures, challenges. I am grateful for life and the opportunities each day brings. I have been like that since I was a child so that is probably inherent in my personality.

Today, Benedict asks with the psalmist--Is there anyone here who yearns for life and desires to see good days? My initial response is to stand and state "YES!!!" as emphatically as possible. I long for a long and productive life. I desire success, happiness and all the benefits of a good life.

I need to ask myself, however, what is required in order to achieve this life. What is the magic formula that will gain the type of life in union with God that I am searching?

Benedict tells me what to do next to achieve my goal. I am to keep my tongue from vicious talk and my lips from speaking deceit; turn away from evil and do good; let peace be your quest and aim. That is definitely a formula for living a righteous life. It is by no means easy to fulfill. It can only be achieved through prayer, God's grace and effort. If I desire to have a life of integrity and peace, I need to start by cultivating that peace and compassion within my own heart first.

What am I doing today to instill that righteousness and peace within my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Doing the Impossible

Trusting in God's help, he must in love obey. RB80.68.5

Okay, so I am asked to do something I consider impossible. This request is not just something outside of my comfort zone but pretty much out of the realm of possibility. What am I to do???

I, personally, have never been known to step away from a challenge--no matter what form it might take. But then, I have never really been asked to do anything that I consider impossible or unbearable, just difficult at times.

When I first entered community, I had a well rehearsed list of things that I would never plan on doing...so don't even ask. This list included everything from never driving on less than ideal roads, to not ever choosing to eat unfamiliar foods, to not wanting to spend hours attached to an office. Needless to say, I have tried doing most of these things at one time or another. The secret was to be open enough to trust that those in leadership might possibly have a fuller vision of the truth than I might have at the time.

In chapter 68, Benedict encourages the person to accept "impossible" tasks quietly and at least try to do what was being asked. There is an opportunity to plead a case to be relieved of the burden but only after an honest attempt has been made to fulfil the request. If even after this the request still stands, the person is to accept the assignment quietly and rely on God's grace.

What I have found for myself is that when I am willing to suspend my own will even for a little while and try a new task...the impossible may actually turn out to be possible and I might even discover that I have new talents.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Example and Teaching

Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria for choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank. RB80.64.2

Goodness of life (virtue) and wisdom in teaching (example) are to be the criteria for choosing the leader.

The leader needs to be one who is familiar with the rules and guidelines and has shown understanding of them through the way life is lived. Ideally, the person in charge is someone who also is a good follower and a good team player. I need to know how to be part of the group before I can accept the responsibility of directing others. How am I living according to the prescribed guidelines of the group?

It is often said that actions speak much louder than words. Am I showing others through my own example how to live in harmony with others? Do my attitudes and actions betray some form of inner conflict with existing norms or with those in authority?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Experience Counts

Therefore, apart from those mentioned above whom the abbot has for some overriding consideration promoted, or for a specific reason demoted, all the rest should keep to the order of their entry. For example, someone who came to the monastery at the second hour of the day must recognize that he is junior to someone who came at the first hour, regardless of age or distinction. RB80.63.7-8 Looking at this selection from the Rule my first reaction is to consider it somewhat picky. I mean, am I really going to be the junior of someone who happened to show up at the door just a few minutes before me??? That is something hard for me to understand at face value. I would much prefer a system where age, or likability, or personality, or something I can achieve carries power. Looking at the passage more closely, though, I realize the inherent wisdom here. It reminds me that status in community is not arbitrary. I do not get automatic status because I am the leader's buddy, or because I can buy myself into a powerful position. I can move up or down in rank only according to the virtue of my life. My living out of this life (how I live out Gospel values daily) is the only means through which I can rise or descend in status. The decision is mine. How do I choose to life my commitments today? Sr. Catherine, OSB

Perseverance in Trials

Chapter 58 of the Rule of Benedict offers insight and guidance on the reception of new members into the community. It spells out the procedure for accepting the uninitiated into the group. At first glance, it seems a little extreme to keep a person knocking on the door for an extended length of time to test the sincerity of their intentions. Few would endure the "testing" of their purpose over a prolonged period of time. (At least, I am pretty sure that I would have rethought my intial decision more than once if I had received such a harsh welcome.) The novel, The Hawk and The Dove Trilogy, by Penelope Wilcock, offers a scene which in which the young person is left in the cold for various days before being re-accepted into the community (after a departure). In a sense, he was required to prove the firmness of his renewed intent. The testing that happens to the new is not meant to traumatize the person or to drive them away but rather to provide a reality check from the start about the nature of the commitment to be undertaken. One of our former formation directors used to tell her novices regularly that they had not signed up to join the Girl Scouts when they entered community. I think this is the basic message of today's passage. On entering a monastic community, the person is opening themselves us to be part of the joys and struggles that might come with this group. This is both the joy and the penance of community living. Sr. Catherine, OSB