Life Everlasting

...and may he bring us all together to everlasting life. RB80.72.12

Community life is about the whole group. The goal of life (all Christian life) is to help one another reach our heavenly home.

• It is through the struggles and joys of working and living with others that we learn some of the most important life lessons that carry us through.
• It is in our daily encounters that we become more self-aware of our own frailties and faults.
• I learn compassion when I practice patience with others and experience the love of others in my times of pain.
• I learn faith and trust as I continue to realize my dependence on others and the interdependence which is necessary in life.

As we approach the end of 2010 and the conclusion of another cycle of our daily reading of the Rule, may God truly unite us on our journey towards life everlasting.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Obeying the Community

Obedience is a blessing to be shown by all, not only to the abbot but also to one another as brothers, since we know that it is by this way of obedience that we go to God. RB80.71.1-2

It is easy enough for me to understand the value of obeying leadership...but obeying one another? That is something a little more difficult to practice.

Why is it necessary to obey others on a team, at work, in a class or other group situation?

While I have my own thoughts and opinions about when things should start I have to remember that everyone else involved also has thoughts and opinions about the same issues--not necessarily mine. What would happen if everyone stubbornly insisted on having their own way?

Chaos would reign...very little constructive work would be done and resentments would be high. Not a very pleasant environment for work or team building.

By compromising and through dialogue, boundaries and standards can be set so that there is less confusion and all will know the parameters within which to work.

I may not always get my way but at least there will be a more pleasant environment for work.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Golden Rule in Community

After all, it is written: 'Never do to another what you do not want done to yourself.' (Tobit 4:16) RB80.70.7

This reference to the Book of Tobit is found at the end of Chapter 70 which speaks about striking out against another. Who would have thought that the Golden Rule had found a place both in Scripture and in the Rule?

This reference reminds me to take into account the thoughts, feelings and concerns of others before I act. I need to consider whether I would like to receive the action which I am contemplating. Ideally, this pause will help to curb any tendency towards revenge, retaliation or spite.

This special consideration of others helps to make life in community more peaceful and less chaotic. It helps me to expand my awareness of others and my compassion towards others. I need practice in that often because there is a tendency in me to become self-centered and over-focused.

What am I doing to remember my relationship with others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Discord Among Leaders

...while abbot and prior pursue conflicting policies, their own souls are inevitably endangered by this discord; and at the same time the monks under them take sides and so go to their ruin. RB80.65.8-9

If one parent says "No" to a request, it is always a good idea to try the other parent...they may say "Yes", especially if they don't know that the request has already been denied. This theory for navigating permissions in a family is a practice familiar to many. It was often attempted in our house, unfortunately it often failed.

This dynamic is what Benedict is seeking to avoid in today's passage from the Rule. In a group, it sets up the possibility that rather than following normal avenues for receiving permissions the members will go to the leader who seems to be most favorable to the request or most likely to be swayed easily.

There is a divisive element to this practice. While the leaders are trying to sort out the problem, small factions can also be formed with those who favor one leader arguing against those who follow another.

How am I helping to unite community rather than divide it?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leading By Example

Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria in choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank. RB80.64.2

In setting forth the principle criteria for selecting leadership, Benedict puts forth goodness of life and wisdom in teaching as the key elements in this selection. Benedict is not looking for the most successful, the most popular or the most brilliant--he is looking for an over-all good monastic who can set a good example for the group.

There is a piece of folk wisdom that asserts that the best leaders are those who have learned to be good team members and who are able to follow another's lead. St. Benedict seems to be saying the same today about leadership. If the leader is not already a good community member familiar with patiently following another's lead, leadership tasks will be much more cumbersome.

How am I training for leadership today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

More Is Required

It is often easy to looking longingly at others and fantasize what their life must be like or wonder why someone is always chosen for special privileges. When I was younger, I always desired to be the person who was chosen to be the leader or who had all of these imagined "perks" in life. It always seemed so appealing and glamorous. Much more interesting than my life seemed.

As I have matured and be given more responsibilities and duties, I have also received some extra privileges. It seems that with the "extras" comes a larger portion of responsibility. I can't just have the "perks" and not be accountable. I need to remember the weight that comes with even small responsibilities...I also need to remember how to be part of a team so that when others are in leadership I can still participate fully.

How am I adding to the team today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Visiting Monastics

A visiting monk from far away will perhaps present himself and wish to stay as a guest in the monastery. Provided that he is content with the life as he finds it, and does not make excessive demands that upset the monastery, but is simply content with what he finds, he should be received for as long as he wishes.

Visitors should not make themselves a burden.

When I was young, I learned that if I wanted to be socially accepted or even just invited places, I needed to make sure that I was a pleasant guest. If I was too demanding or bothersome, I might find myself never invited anywhere. I learned this lesson fairly rapidly and learned it well.

My parents were always amazed that I seemed to be a much different person at friend's homes as opposed to my "at home" behavior. I was polite and courteous. I was not picky or as obnoxious. I even offered to do some tasks that I would never have done willingly at home. My friends were that way at my home also. Just being a guest in someone else's home seemed to make the difference.

Benedict addresses the issue of guests today. He supports his disciples visiting other groups as long as they are not overly-burdensome.

I need to develope some of those "away from home skills" more fully so that they become a part of my daily life. How can I make life at home more pleasant for myself and others?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Not Seeking Exceptions

Repeatedly in the Rule, Benedict states that the individual monk should not seek to make exceptions to the common practices. This concept is harder to accept than obedience to a leader is some ways.

I can understand doing what I am asked to do respectfully...but making a point of being just like everyone else and not asking for exceptions because of my temperament, preferences, emotions or whims???

I was raised to believe that I am unique and special in every way. This fact, however, needs to be tempered with the realization that the same is true of every single person. EVERYONE is unique and special and NO ONE needs to be the exception to all rules.

Living and working within a community setting this becomes abundantly clear. If basic rules that all must obey do not exist, chaos reigns and nothing will be accomplished.

I need to remember that I am not the standard setter for every situation. How am I learning to accept that that life asks of me today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being An Offering

RB80 entitles Chapter 59 of the Rule: The offering of sons by nobles or by the poor.

This title has always seemed a little awkward to me since in our culture we do not deal regularly with nobility or even, in any real sense, offering the work of our hands or something personal to God at the Presentation of the Gifts. The concept of 'tithing' tries to address this issue except that in most cases, I can be so far removed from the weekly offering that is presented in a Sunday envelope or a monthly check that it is just one more monthly bill to pay.

I am reminded of the Gospel story of the widow's offering. She offered to God from what she needed for livelihood. Manytimes, I find myself offering God a portion of what is left over after everything else is done...the last few minutes of the day before I fall asleep, the last ounces of energy after I have done a day's work, the last bit of charity after I have spent it throughout the day.

I desire to give God my best rather than my leftovers. How am I offering the best that I have today to God?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Abbot's Table

The abbot's table must always be with guests and travelers. Whenever there are no guests, it is within his right to invite any of the brothers he wishes. RB80.56.1-2

Growing up, we always had assigned places at the dinner table. It was partly a function of practicality and convenience (Grandma always sat closest to the stove and serving area because she was the one who helped get seconds and cleared the table.) Our parents were always at the end of the table. The kids were placed so that those who might fight at table were separated by an adult.

Benedict has a similar plan for the abbot's table. The abbot should have a place at the table with the guests. On the occasions when there are no guests, community members may be invited to sit with the leader. There should always be someone sitting at the tables among the table to help keep order. Benedict emphasized interaction among the members so that good relationships could be fostered.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Receiving What Is Needed

The abbot, however, must always bear in mind what is said in the Acts of the Apostles: 'Distribution was made to each one as he had need' (Acts 4:35). In this way the abbot will take into account the weaknesses of the needy, not the evil will of the envious; yet in all his judgments he must bear in mind God's retribution. RB 55.20-22

All of my needs are taken care of--that is a comforting thought. I do not have to worry about my own clothing, my supplies, my tools for ministry, the equipment I need to fulfill my daily tasks. What I do need is to practice trust--trust in the leadership of the group and trust the group to get me what is necessary.

• There is no need for me to devise my own private stash of food, supplies, tools, necessities for a day that might not be as plentiful. Although it is comforting to know that I have enough for myself and everyone else.
• There is no need to look over what others have and long for their possessions. Unless, of course, I am also willing to take on the responsibilities that often come with new gadgets. The iPhone does not look as appealing when I realize that having it will require that I also take on two new responsibilities within our group.
• I do not need to compare what I have with what others seem to get because I know that everyone has exactly what is needed at that time.

May I always remember to keep my focus on my own piece of creation.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Practical Nature of the Rule

Benedict talks today about clothing. He does not really stress about it or over-emphasize his point. Benedict simply states that clothing should be appropriate for the season; should fit the wearer and should be simple. Clothing is seen as a practical tool to fulfill a purpose rather than something to be identified with the person.

Growing up, I loved getting new clothes, shopping, or even just browsing through the Speigel Catalogue--dreaming of what my next outfit would be. As a teen, I spent hours in front of my mirror trying various combinations for the next "free dress" day or party. I obsessed about making sure that the my outside looked polished and sophisticated. Meanwhile, my insides were not as well- ordered.

Today, I realize that it is important for my inner person to match my exterior. It does not work for me to look good on the outside while I am withering away on the inside. I need to be wholly engaged with life--inside and outside.

How am I living as a person of integrity today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

A Place of Prayer

Chapter 52 of the Rule sets parameters around the monastic oratory--the designated place for prayer. Benedict states that the oratory is a prayer place and nothing else should be done or stored there.

The oratory is not a place for conversations (unless it is conversation with God). It is not an extra storage space--where I can leave those things that do not fit in my closet, desk or bedroom. The oratory is to be just what its name states--a place of prayer.

In our monastery, the oratory is a place in the center of our building. It is at the intersection between our living/dining space and our public space (our front reception area and our business office). Our oratory is the "heart" of our home.

To this "heart" I bring the concerns of the day, prayer intentions gathered throughout my day of ministry and my hopes/aspirations. I join my prayers with those of others to ask God's blessing and insight. From this "heart" I am strengthened and energized to go forth and take God's life and love to all whom I meet. The oratory is both the "heart" of our home and the living "heart" of our lives.

How am I living the spirit of our prayer today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Models of Faith

Sister Agatha Burke, OSB

We are fortunate in our community to have the opportunity to interact daily with community members with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. It is not uncommon for one of us to be listening to stories from earlier days in our community and getting a sense of participating in the memory.

Sister Agatha Burke was one such person. She would recount stories of her early days teaching Kindergarten and 1st Grade, her years as principal and administrator, her later years as founder of the After School Care Program for Monte Cassino School in the late 80's. Sister Agatha was a person who enjoyed life even at 90.

Here are a few remembrances of Sister Agatha:

• There are photos of Sister Agatha in the "captain's chair" of our pontoon. During the summer of 2009, Sister Agatha would take every opportunity offered to go out on the boat for a ride.
• She enjoyed spending time with friends. Just recently, Sister Agatha stayed up for a late night football game--she wanted to be part of the action.
• Sister Agatha taught me about friendship. She cared deeply about others and would always go the extra mile for them if possible.

Sister Agatha was a women of faith and prayer and she will be greatly missed.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being Who I Am Everywhere

Chapter 50 of the Rule of Benedict offers directives for prayer while away from the monastery. It basically boils down to being the same person, no matter where I may find myself.

Ideally, after years of praying the psalms day after day, multiple times a day, scripture should be like the air I breath; the blood flowing through my life. I am called to allow God's Word to permeate my life, my heart, my soul.

I long to be a person of integrity, radical integrity. I desire to always remember that God is with me, accompanying me through my daily life. I need to remember who I am and whose I am.

How am I open to God's Word today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Lack of Care in Tasks

Awareness, alertness and care are essential for a completely engaged life. When I am traveling through life on "automatic" my care for detail tends to slip into sloppy mode. I become less involved with the present task and tend to drift from one thing to another. I am like a leaf being blown across the yard by the wind.

The less engaged I am with life and my surroundings the less alive I find myself. I start to lose perspective and all of a sudden the small and trivial becomes huge and all-consuming. I need the structure that community provides to re-center me in life...to provide some form of balance in my life.

How am I living out this balance today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Consistent Tardiness

Some people always seem to be running at least a little late no matter what the circumstance. On the other hand, there are some (like me) who would rather be 30 minutes early than even 1 minute late. For us, "being right on time" is one step away from being late.

Chapter 43 deals with habitual lateness at prayers and at the table. Benedict seems to understand that there are times for everyone when they will be running late. (Too much traffic on the way in, an emergency occurs, some sort of delay along the way) Benedict even makes accommodations for there to be two instances of tardiness--just so it doesn't become a habit. Once it becomes a pattern, Benedict recommends that the person be excluded from the common table or other community activities. In a sense, if I really want to be separated from the group so much that I always show up late...Benedict suggests giving me what I seem to want--to separate me from the rest in a formal way.

Although I may not be late to activities, there are much more subtle ways in which I show that I am choosing to be separate.

• I can sit back and observe activities rather than fully participate. I look around and evaluate what is happening around me. I can keep pretty good notes at times.
• I can find ways to proclaim how different I am from the group; thus setting myself apart.
• I can participate externally while pouting or finding fault with the activity.

How am I choosing to separate myself from the group today? Am I a team member or do I undermine the team?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Avoiding Excesses

I can have it ALL--everything that I can dream or imagine.

Growing up that could easily have been seen as my philosophy of life.

Since I am capable, independent and resourceful, I grew up truly believing that there was not much that could place limits on my capacities, especially since I also had an abundance of energy. As I have matured in life, I have come to realize that I am really not unstoppable (possessing all capabilities) and that all of my abilities are a direct gift from God (not a product of my own creativity). It has taken many years but I have slowly learned to accept my human limitations, my dependence of God and my own frailty.

This awareness is what Benedict speaks of when addressing moderation. There needs to be a conscious balance in our lives. I need to work everyday to carve out space for God, leisure and self-care. I work to achieve equilibrium in my life so that my lack of balance does not unduly affect my work or those around me.

How am I balancing my life today.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Preparation

Today we hear about the reader of the week in the monastery. The reader holds an important task since the service of the reader is required at common prayer and at common table. Many monastic houses have reading during at least one of the daily meals.

The directive from Benedict about the preparation necessary to fulfill this role is applicable in monastic settings and in many other group situations. Preparation is paramount for St. Benedict. He states that the reader should be someone who is prepared for the task not just a person who happens to pick up the book at the last minute...with little or no preparation.

Why is preparation so important? I know that if I happen to slide into my prayer place 30 seconds before the bell signaling the beginning of prayer I am not going to be as prepared for prayer. I will tend to be more distracted, more frazzled and on edge. In the same way, when I am a teacher or a student and do not come prepared for class with my materials, my homework and my book, I will probably be much less productive and focused.

Being prepared for the important tasks in my day are necessary. What do I need to do to be prepared to welcome God into my life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Compassion for the Needy

Chapters 36 and 37 of the Rule (yesterday's chapter and today's) deal with the compassion that needs to be shown to those among us with special needs. We are all among the needy at different times whether through illness, age, strength, or personal weakness. There are always some among us that need our love in a special way.

This reality is something that I need to remember daily. Being fairly healthy, capable and independent, I tend to lose patience when I feel that I am having to adjust MY plans or timetable to help another...even when it really is not costing me anything. I get impatient waiting in lines, being stuck in traffic behind a slower driver or having to patiently wait to get my meal in our buffet line. I need to constantly find ways to reframe these times into something positive rather than more infuriating annoyances.

Here are some ways in which I might do this in even small ways:

• When stuck in traffic, use the opportunity to use the Jesus Prayer.
• Being grateful for my health and independence--and thanking God for that especially when needing to wait behind someone who needs extra help.
• Taking time to notice the beauty of the world around me...something I sometimes miss when I am either rushing around or stressing about having to wait for something.
• Looking for ways that I can help at least one person who needs assistance--even if it's just with a smile or a hug.

How else can I learn patience and compassion for others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Getting What I Need

It is written: 'Distribution was made to each one as he had need' (Acts 4:35). By this we do not imply that there should be favoritism--God forbid--but rather consideration for weaknesses. RB80.34.1-2

Parents will often say that they love all of their children...but show that love and care in different ways for each. Everyone responds in a different manner to various situations; being an individual particular interests and need should be taken into account. For example, my younger brother could easily be coaxed into doing things with the promise of more tech time; whereas I would probably more interested in a new book or more social time with friends.

Today, Benedict reminds us that all need to receive what they need. There is really no 'one size fits all' in any community--family, team, classroom, workplace. The talented leader is able to look at the group and assess what will be the most successful for the whole. Do they need more encouragement? Do they need to be challenged? Do they respond well to more time? What is the 'magic blend' for each person on the team?

When I am called to be a leader even in a small way, I need to remember the individual as well as the whole. I need to be aware of what will help the group as well as what the member needs to succeed.

How am I being aware of the needs of those I work with today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Material Goods

I like new things. I like the feel of a new pen, the smell of new books, the excitement of opening a new piece of technology. The "new" just seems to evoke different emotions in me.

Chapter 32 of the Rule deals with the goods of the monastery. Although I do not own anything as an individual, the monastery as an entity does possess property, vehicles, buildings and other things.

In reading Chapter 32, Benedict invites me to deal with material possessions that show care and reverence. Reverence not so much for the item but to signify my awareness that all, even my body is on loan to me. Just as I would be careful with something which I borrowed and would try to return it in good condition....so also with all possessions. I am to remember that I have these things for a time and will be called on to return them at the end in good shape.

This attitude can be a challenge for me at times because I tend to lose interest in what is not new and shiny anymore. I tend to be easily distracted. I need to remember that all is gift from God for the good of others.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Allowing Time for Growth

How many times should a person be able to deviate/runaway from the group and be accepted back? This question has been posed in various ways in different situations. The disciples asked Jesus how many times a person should reasonably be forgiven. The response was 70 times 7 times--which in that times was an enormous amount--almost infinite. In the Rule, the question is how many times may a person leave and expect to be welcomed back. Benedict's response was 3 times.

Being a person who has to learn through experience and having an affinity for life on the edge, I find comfort in the fact that Benedict does allow opportunity for growth and maturity. He understands that for various reasons a person may need to take a break for a time...a kind of time out to reevaluate their life. He also understands that after this deviation there may be reason to ask to come back to the group with a renewed understanding. Benedict does put a limit on this leave-taking. Stability would encourage me not to leave everytime things do not go my way. Just because I am having a rough week or day is not reason to just totally give up.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Prayer for the Erring--A Greater Remedy

We are still in Benedict's disciplinary chapters. Today, Benedict suggests that once the leader has coaxed, encouraged, and sanctioned the erring member and all have failed; the last remedy to try is prayer. Since the Rule was written for a religious community, it seems odd that prayer is left as the last resort.

Maybe Benedict, in his wisdom, realized that the superior was probably going to try everything humanly possible first before resorting to calling in God on the matter. In my life, I often find myself turning to prayer after I have tried dealing with an issue myself first. I tend to hesitate admitting defeat--and in a sense, asking for God's assistance can be seen as a defeat (actually a defeat of my arrogance of thinking that I can handle things on my own).

For myself, when I invite others to pray with me over an issue or concern that I may have I am actually taking the issue more seriously. It's not just a minor annoyance anymore. Many times there is a shift in my perspective or my attitude about the situation. I recognize that this is a major concern not just a minor irritation.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Being a Wise Steward

The abbot must exercise the utmost care and concern for wayward brothers, because 'it is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick' (Matt 9.12). Therefore, he ought to use every skill of a wise physician and send in 'senpectae,' that is, mature and wise brothers who, under the cloak of secrecy, may support the wavering brother, urge him to be humble as a way of making satisfaction, and 'console him lest he be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow' (2Cor2.7). RB80.27.1-3

Benedict gives us another portion of his expectations for the leader and for community members today. He understands that there will be some issues that will need to be resolved within the group (attitudes or behaviors that need to be modified). Benedict places the responsibility for addressing the situation with the person on the leader.

The superior is to be available to provide support, correction, healing and care. Since in some cases the leader might be part of the problem, Benedict also makes arrangements for others--whom the leader trusts and appoints to be present as a support to the member.

This principle can be applied to various situations in life. When I was in elementary school I was about as uncoordinated as a person can be. Eye-hand coordination was a foreign concept to me. In 3rd grade when we were learning to shoot baskets in basketball (and I still couldn't do it), the PE teacher arranged for a friend and me to spend some classtime just doing shooting practice. We would get an extra minute at recess the next day for every basket I made. I never became a great basketball player but I could get a few baskets eventually. I was more interested in the extra recess time--and not feeling so awkward in PE.

How can I be a wise helper to those in need today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Our Founding Generation

I am blessed to belong to a community with a long history in Oklahoma, a tradition that is well over 1500 years old and a faith that is over 2000 years old.

The traditions, history and legacy of these three are a source of hope and comfort for me. I do not have to reinvent my life. I can take time to learn from the past, treasure the successes and possibly learn from the mistakes. I can revel in the awareness that I am connected with those who have gone before me in this way of life. I can still ask them for guidance, help and example. In a sense it is like having tons of older siblings and role models in life.

Today I am grateful for all who have nurtured my faith, have formed this community, and have been instrumental in developing our community today.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Exclusion for Faults

If a brother is found to be stubborn or disobedient or proud, if he grumbles or in any way despises the holy rule and defies the orders of his seniors, he should be warned twice privately by the seniors in accord with our Lord’s injunction (Matt 18:15–16). RB80.23.1-2

Chapters 23-30 of the Rule of Benedict are part of the disciplinary code in the Rule. Since the community is human, there are bound to be faults. There needs to be a way of dealing with wrongdoing, bad attitudes and failure to comply.

These opening verses set the tone for Benedict's approach to faults. Benedict realized that faults would be a part of community, or actually any group or team. So how are they to be handled? Benedict seems to be focusing more on the underlying attitudes of the person rather than the actual deeds. If the attitude is correct then the actions will follow.

Benedict realized that with an attitude problem forcefulness or public sanctions are not always the best approach at first. He suggests speaking privately to the person to allow an opportunity for a change. This allows the person to modify their own behavior before it becomes a public issue which can be both hurtful and embarrassing. Take care of the matter privately.

Thinking back on the times that I have needed to change my disposition or attitude to become a better community member, I have always been grateful for the times when I have been offered the opportunity to change on my own once I have the awareness.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Character of Private Prayer

We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words. Prayer should therefore be short and pure, unless perhaps it is prolonged under the inspiration of divine grace. RB80.20.3-4

The Baltimore Catechism taught that prayer was the raising of the mind and the heart to God. Since I was raised in the Post-Vatican II church, my familiarity with the Catechism and the rituals of faith are still a little foreign to me.

I grew up with the concept that prayer was a relational, conversation with God. Since God is always with me and God is everywhere, God could be in constant communication with me. That was a concept that I could easily relate to--since I tend to enjoy talking and always have some internal or external dialogue going. The one part that I tend to forget is that there needs to be at least as much listening (preferably more) as there is speaking in this relationship.

Just as in daily relationships it is not a good idea to monopolize the entire conversation so too in prayer. I need to remember to leave space (silence) for God to respond to me. I also need to listen carefully because sometimes God's message can be very subtle or come in a different form than I expect.

Benedict gives me the key for remembering that today. God is not so much concerned with how well I can express myself in prayer as in how sincere and heartfelt the prayer is. God cares about getting to see the true "me" in prayer--not a well polished replica.

How am I listening in prayer today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Harmony of Mind and Voice

Let us consider, then, how we ought to behave in the presence of God and his angels, and let us stand to sing the psalms in such a way that our minds are in harmony with our voices. RB80.19.6-7

I love to sing--I am definitely not the best singer or the most accomplished musician but I do enjoy singing and music. Today's passage from the Rule of St. Benedict speaks to the singer in me.

I know from experience how important it is to be in harmony and how gut-wrenching it can be to hear dissonance. I also know how difficult it can be to have my mind and my mouth both being fully present at the same time, on the same task. There is a temptation to think that since I have prayed the same psalms and responses for years I can conceivable "pray" our Office on autopilot. All that would be necessary is the presence of my body. In order to fully engage in prayer, though, I need to be fully there--mind, heart, voice, and body.

There are skills that are necessary so that we may all have a better prayer experience.

• I need to listen to those around me. I need to be in sync with others neither too fast or too slow.
• I need to pay attention. If my mind is on other things the words that come out of my mouth might not be the correct ones and I might end up being a distraction.
• I need to be still. Although there are no specific poses for prayer, I do need to watch that my body and posture is not distracting to those around me.
• I need to be present and not day dreaming. This is the most important time of my day...every day.

What other skills do I need to bring to my daily prayer?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Lukewarmness

For monks who in a week’s time say less than the full psalter with the customary canticles betray extreme indolence and lack of devotion in their service. We read, after all, that our holy Fathers, energetic as they were, did all this in a single day. Let us hope that we, lukewarm as we are, can achieve it in a whole week. RB80.18.24-25

It is not uncommon for older generations to look upon the younger with dismay over they lack of energy, motivation, enthusiasm and fervor displayed in the younger. Parents often remind children that when they were young things were much tougher in life. Elders often shake their heads wondering what will happen to the coming generations.

That is the sense portrayed today in Benedict's reference to the holy Fathers who were much more devoted and energetic than the present group. I can choose to dwell on the shortcomings of the present generation or I can choose to be grateful for those thousands who have gone before me in this life of faith. I can decide today to take them as my models of strength, fidelity and perseverance. I can be grateful for the life which they founded for us.

How am I showing my gratitude today for our founding generations? How can I be an example for those who come after me?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Calling on God's Presence

Benedict directs that God's divine presence and intervention be called at all community prayer times. The verses he recommends are the following: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me.

These two short verses help to keep me focused throughout the day and at our prayer times. It is important for me to remember to call on God regularly for assistance in my daily encounters. It is only with God's help and through his grace that any of my plans are able to be successful.

I also need to call on God with urgency. Many times I forget that my many successes and accomplishments are not achieved by virtue of my great power, intelligence or brilliance. It is only through God's graciousness that any of my projects are able to succeed at all. These are two good points for me to remember.

Am I remembering to call on God regularly for help? Do I remember to acknowledge God's providence in my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Awareness of Group Needs

Benedict was a realist when he wrote the Rule. He realized that modifications might need to be made based on the specific needs of the individual group so he built in some flexibility into his plan.

Today's reading from Chapter 17 of the Rule is an example of this. In proposing the order for common prayer, Benedict does build in provisions for groups that are smaller or larger than the ideal. He provides options for a more balanced format in those times when needs change.

I need to do the same in my own life. I need to be flexible enough in daily events so that I can weather the more difficult storms that may come. May I continue to focus on flexibility in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

60 Years of Faithful Service

This weekend we are in for HUGE celebrations. Tomorrow we celebrate the 60th Jubilee of two of our Sisters--Sister Marie Jacinta Dorado and Sister Scholastica Reagan!

Benedictines like to celebrate and this anniversary certainly gives us cause for rejoicing, thanking God and being grateful for the faithful witness of these two women. It is rare these days that anyone is willing to make lifelong commitments and the fidelity of these women is wonderful.

For a short bio on both of these Sisters, please visit http://stjosephmonastery.org/pages/news.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

We Parise You, God

After the fourth responsory, the abbot begins the hymn "We praise you, God." RB80.11.8

Singing eternal praise to God.

Someone asked me recently what my image of heaven was. I must say that since I don't like thinking about death very much, I had never spent much time thinking about heaven (or life after death) much either. It made me stop and realize that if I truly believe that I am destined for eternal life, it might be a good idea to ponder what it might look like.

This morning brings me two instances where the praise of God is mentioned. As I listened, I was struck with the idea that for me that is central to my image of heaven. More than an actual place, it is a state of being in which my total attitude is praise of God and gratitude. I am far from there right now...but there still is time left for me to cultivate this posture within my life.

Here are some practical ways:

• Practice praising God on awaking, thanking God for the gift of life, creation and our many blessings.
• Develop a gratitude list--jotting down small instance of thanksgiving throughout the day. Bedtime would be a good time to review list daily.
• Stopping to say a quick thanks to God throughout the day--rather than stressing over how long the wait is at the grocery store or at the 10th red light I've encountered today.
• Pausing a second before answering the phone to thank God for the gift of the person on the other end of the call.

These are just a few ways in which I can cultivate more gratitude in my life today. In a sense, this practice will not only make my life more enjoyable now but will also prepare me for heaven.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Reverence to the Holy Trinity

As soon as the cantor begins to sing "Glory be to the Father," let all the monks rise from their seats in honor and reverence for the Holy Trinity. RB80.9.7

One of the things that I love about our prayer is the rituals that are involved. I don't like ritual just for the sake of ritual, but I find value in intentional actions performed for a specific purpose.

One of the monastic rituals that has a special place in my heart is the bow at the "Glory be to the Father." When I was younger, I had very little sense of why we would stand at the beginning of this prayer and bow during the portion that praises God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I guess I had never read to the end of the sentence quoted today since the reason for the bow is stated quite clearly--it is to show honor and reverence for the Holy Trinity.

If I truly believe that I live in God's presence all the time, everywhere, then my interior disposition should be one of honor and reverence to God in whose presence I abide. Through my actions, words and attitudes I need to look for ways that speak of that honor and reverence daily. That belief needs to be one of the elements that sets me apart from the world both as a Christian and as a monastic woman.

How am I showing honor and reverence to God around me today?

Sr. Catherine

The Influence of Prayer

Today we begin the section on prayer in common. The Rule contains 13 chapters that speak of what is involved in monastic prayer. Some of these chapters (8-18) deal with the minutiae of what the order of the Psalms should be, a listing of other specific prayers and scripture readings for the year. Chapters 19 and 20 deal with the attitude necessary in the individual during prayer. Together these chapters constitute a vital part of the Rule of Benedict.

When I was finishing my Masters Degree one of the topics that I wrote on was common prayer and the impact of this prayer on individuals after long periods of daily praying the Psalms. One of my assertions was that the repetition of these prayers over a period of years should leave an imprint on my life (hopefully for the good). Much like water works on rocks in streams to smooth off rough edges, daily exposure and prayer with the psalms and scripture ideally should have the same effect on me as a person.

It is my duty to show up daily as awake and aware as possible to God's presence. All I really have to do is show up and be open to God's action in my life.

How open am I today to God's word in my life?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Laughing Manor--A Happy Place

The tenth step of humility is that he is not given to ready laughter, for it is written: Only a fool raises his voice in laughter (Sir 21.23). RB80.7.59

From reading this passage one would think that the monastery is to be a very solemn, quiet, mirthless place. (Not an appealing thought to anyone with the least hint of a sense of humor.) An unfortunately before I entered the monastery, that is what I thought my life would be like. I was wrong.

What I found in our community were women much like myself who love life, love God and love one another. I found women so full of joy and hope that they found it hard to contain it within themselves--there was a need to share this spirit...often in laughter.

One of our sisters who has died (Sister Joachim) used to tease some of those blessed with contagious and explosive laughter by saying that someone might confuse us with "Laughing Manor" rather than a monastic community. That is a good thing because it humanizes our community to many and can even encourage some interest and questions about our life.

I invite you to take a look through our new, updated website (stjosephmonastery.org) and become familiar with our community and the services we offer. You might even see quite a few of us having fun while living our life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Controlling the Tongue

The ninth step of humility is that a monk controls his tongue and remains silent, not speaking unless asked a question,... RB80.7.56

Every thought that passes through my head does not need to be expressed. Although it can lead to some interesting conversations, not all words and ideas while truthful are polite and necessary. This is part of the lesson on humility today--I do not have to be the one to blurt out my opinions and reactions on every subject.

I have a friend who taught her children and grandchildren to respond "That's interesting," when someone asked their opinion on a sensitive topic. She felt that it gave her family something that they could respond with when asked how someones new hair cut looked or how appealing a new outfit was. I needed to have learned something like that growing up since I do not seem to have a very good reaction filter or a poker face.

While not inviting me to be dishonest, Benedict is pointing out that maybe the best thing to do in some situations is to not comment. Especially when commenting might prove hurtful or mean to the others involved. Although I have a right to express my thoughts on important matters, I need to determine when it might be wiser to remain silent.

What words have I used today that probably did not need to be said?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Following Instructions

The eighth step of humility is that a monk does only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by his superiors. RB80.7.55

There is a special talent in being able to follow directions and not deviate from the expected norm. I know this from experience since I am not a person who cares to follow instructions all the time and ends up working harder to clean up messes.

I enjoy living on the edge and learning by doing so when given the option of reading the manual or recipe or just "winging it" and hoping for the best. I usually just forge ahead and get ready for an adventure. After all, how many great discoveries would have been lost if everyone followed the guidebooks all the time?

In community life, however, Benedict is inviting me to consider adhering to the basic plan for the group...not to head out on my own taking others with me. Not everyone enjoys an adventure as much as I do and there is prudence in being respectful of other's sensitivities. All of life does not have to be lived by my rules. I need to be willing to bend and accept the norm.

I need to pray for the grace to temper my need for innovation and excitement with other's need for security.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Living the Truth

One of the root elements of humility as a virtue is the idea that humility is about our humanity and truth. Keeping things in right perspective is essential for humility. Living in the comfort of knowing that I do not have to be the "best" (the holiest, the most talented, the smartest, the funniest) or the "worst" (the greatest sinner, the least worthy, the most pitiable). It really is okay to be somewhere in the middle--much like everyone else.

All that humility asks of me is that I acknowledge my humanity, praise God for my strengths, and work on my weaknesses quietly and patiently. All I am asked to do is to be the best version of "Catherine" I can be and to learn from my past failures. I need to find the lessons which are held within my mistakes and try to do better today than yesterday.

Living in this way helps me to keep things in better perspective and to keep the focus on my and my growth not on others.

May I continue to grow in humility.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

On Being Content

The sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given... RB80.7.49

Although chapter 7 in the Rule is one that has always held my interest (mostly because it gives a new perspective to a somewhat unappealing virtue for which to strive), I cannot say that this particular passage is one of my favorites. Actually, I would rather read right past it most of the time.

I do not generally act graciously when offered the worst treatment available. Actually, I usually rebel and complain to anyone and everyone who will listen to me. I also have great difficulty regarding myself as a substandard participant in creation. After all, wasn't I taught growing up that I was just as good as everyone else? So what is the new insight to which Benedict is inviting me?

Maybe it is a reminder that everything is not always going to be fair or go my way. There will be bumps in the road, especially in dealing with others, and I am not always going to be on top...so learn to deal with it as graciously as possible (don't whine). I need to remember that while I am not always on top, I am not always on the bottom either; I'm usually somewhere in the middle and that is okay. That is the reality, be okay with it.

How am I dealing with the daily realities of life today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Obedience for Love of God

The third step of humility is that a man submits to his superior in all obedience for the love of God, imitating the Lord of whom the Apostle says: He became obedient even to death (Phil 2:8). RB80.7.34

Being obedient is okay...as long as it is not too terribly hard. I have problems considering being obedient even to death. That seems a little too painful and drastic to me.

Sister Louise, one of our beloved Sisters who died a few years back, used to say that her daily prayer was, "Dear Lord, I will do anything...just don't make it too hard." I can relate to this type of prayer. I am willing to offer God my obedience but I usually hesitate at making a full out total commitment.

The example of obedience that Benedict proposes for us today is the image of Christ being obedient the point of crucifixion. While I will probably never be asked to face crucifixion in the name of obedience, there are probably small sacrifices that I may be required to undergo.

What are these sacrifices? I am willing to undergo this pain in humble obedience?

• Will I be asked to forego having my own way in everything all of the time?
• Will I need to listen to the same story one more time from the older Sister who is struggling with memory issues?
• Can I graciously answer the same question one more time--even if I just answered it five minutes ago?

These are just a few examples of ways in which I might be called to be obedient even to death for love of God.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Doing the Lord's Will

The second step of humility is that a man loves not his own will nor takes pleasure in the satisfaction of his desires;... RB80.7.31

There is a difference between being strong willed/stubborn and having will power. I have always been a person who tends to have a very strong will but when it comes to having discipline and will power I tend to fall short. As many who know me will attest, I can out stubborn just about anybody (not a very good quality to have).

Today we hear Benedict tell his disciples to strive for will power rather than willfulness. I am invited to look at those things that I am passionate about and see if they are based out of thought and discipline or likes and whim.

Working to achieve discerned will power makes me stronger when difficulties arise. I will know better how to stop and think and delay gratification (not my usual tendency). I will get opportunities to practice my self-discipline by thinking things through and listening to others rather than mindlessly holding on to my own desires.

May I be open to God's will in my life.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

God Is Always Watching

...let him recall that he is always seen by God in heaven, that his actions everywhere are in God's sight and are reported by angels at every hour. RB80.7.13

Growing up it seemed that everytime I had a new idea that would help me lead an exciting life an adult would be nearby to prevent me from acting on my impulses. It seemed that the adults in my life always were aware of what I was planning before I actually got a chance to have any fun.

One such event happened when I was in 1st grade. I was walking home from school with a group of friends and we decided to take a special shortcut to get home faster. We walked along the dry creek bed until we were directly across from our street then decided to jump over a neighbor's fence and cut across the yard. That sounded good and it could have been fun except...I was not a good fence climber (so I chose another fence that seemed more manageable but there were dogs loose in that yard). So when I jumped over the fence 3 dogs came toward me, barking loudly. My friends were already on the other side of the neighbor's yard. The owners rescued me but not before they had called my home to tell my grandmother what had happened. That was the last time I climbed a neighbor's fence in a long time.

Today, we hear that God is always watching us. He is aware of everything we do, not to punish us but to protect us and help us grow towards holiness. God is always like a loving parent watching over us. When I remember that I feel secure in God's love and protection of me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Respecting Silence

...there are times when good words are to be left unsaid out of esteem for silence. RB80.6.2

When visitors first come to our house they often comment on how quiet and still our home seems to be. Our monastery can be considered an oasis of sorts from the hectic world.

Chapter 6 of the Rule invites us to consider the virtue of silence or restraint of speech. Although Benedict acknowledges that there appropriate times and uses for speech, he also points out that there are occasions when even good words are to be left unsaid. Since I am a person who is very comfortable in the world of speech, I am invited to consider situations when words that are true might better be left unsaid for the sake of charity or compassion.

• I do not have to speak every thought that passes through my mind. Sometimes my initial reaction or response to something new or different may be harsh and might hurt another.
• There are situations when information must be held until the appropriate time. If there is a surprise party being held for someone, I really do not want to be the person who spoils the secret.
• I may not have all the information necessary to be able to speak adequately on a topic.
• I might be wiser to hold my comments until I have had some time to think through the plan and any consequences.
• As true and sincere as the words might be, not everyone needs to know what is passing through my mind.

I need to learn to filter my speech with charity and compassion. I need to remember to ask myself: Is this something that really needs to be said?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Grudging Obedience

If a disciple obeys grudgingly and grumbles, not only aloud but also in his heart, then, even though he carries out the order, his action will not be accepted with favor by God, who sees that he is grumbling in his heart. RB80.5.17-18

There is a way in which I can seem to obey (and maybe obey fairly readily) in my actions yet be complaining or arguing within myself. This outward obedience is a skill that I perfected during my teens and early adult years. It was an outward compliance usually accompanied with an eye roll and inner rebellion. I could be made to obey but I would not do so willingly.

I would hope that maturity has brought about different behavior from me but that is not always the case. I need to examine my motivations and evaluate my obedience or hesitancy towards it.

Here are some questions that I find valuable at times to consider:

• Is the request unreasonable or does it seem so because I don't want to obey?
• What is the cost of obedience today? Is it worth the extra energy to fight against the request?
• Am I hesitating because of a power struggle?
• Is my reluctance fear based?
• In the larger picture, is this a negotiable issue or something that I can learn a life lesson from?

These are just a few of the questions that I ask myself when considering my reluctance towards obedience. I need to be able to trust whoever is in authority over me and God to be looking out for my good.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Ready Obedience

Such people as these immediately put aside their own concerns, abandon their own will, and lay down whatever they have in hand, leaving it unfinished. With the ready step of obedience, they follow the voice of authority in their actions. Almost at the same moment, then, as the master gives the instruction the disciple quickly puts it into practice in the fear of God; and both actions together are swiftly completed as one. RB80.5.7-9

There is an urgency that comes from reading this passage from the Rule. The monastic is to put their own agenda aside immediately, abandon tasks and desires unfullfilled. These actions take place simultaneously with the command. That type of obedience has never been part of my reality.

Growing up, I fully embraced the philosophy of the late 60's and early 70's, where everything was available for debate. I would obey to a point but eventually I would start questioning the thinking behind the request. I didn't really mind doing things but I did want to know why I was required to do things. I have always been a person with tons of questions and lots of opinions about almost any matter.

Benedict, in this passage, is inviting me to trust in those in authority and in the community. I am to trust that I might not always have all of the answers or maybe even the full vision. It is okay not to know all the details at the beginning. I practice in trusting that the community/family/group will look out for my best interests most times. I need to trust that God might be speaking to me through those in authority.

I desire to grow in my openness and obedience. How am I following God today in obedience?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Stability in the Community

The workshop where we are to toil faithfully at all these tasks is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in the community. RB80.4.78

Chapter 4 of the Rule of Benedict speaks of the Tools of Good Works or as some translators refer to it, The Tools of the Spiritual Craft. We have just finished listing the various tools or skills which are necessary in order to live Christian/monastic life well. It is a list which includes the 10 Commandments, the Golden Rule, the 2 Great Commandments as well as bits of common folk wisdom.

Living a life according to the Tools of Good Works sounds a bit like an ideal at times. After all, there are 78 verses of wisdom contained in this chapter. Who but the most diligent among us can live up to these precepts if not all the time, at least half the time??? I know I can't.

My natural tendency would be to run in the face of such a daunting task. I do not like to fail...so if failure is a possibility (or a sure certainty) I think I will just opt out. But this is about living life fully, I have to at least make the attempt.

Today's passage gives me a glimmer of hope to persevere. It invites me to remain at the task I committed to at the start. It reminds me that although I may not get it perfectly all the time, or even any of the time, all I am asked to do is to remain faithful to the life I chose when I said yes to the monastic life. I don't have to get it right, I just have to keep trying with everyone else.

How am I using the tools of good works in my life today?

Sr. Catherine

Yearning for Everlasting Life

Yearn for everlasting life with holy desire. RB80.4.46

I LOVE life. I thoroughly enjoy the experience of awakening every morning to all the new opportunities available. To me, every new day is filled with a myriad of new experiences, adventures and ways to discover God in our world.

That being said...I need to examine whether I truly yearn for everlasting life with holy desire. Is it the fullness of life that I love or is it a life which is basically more of the life I live now? I would like to say that I seek the fullness of life...afterall, who would settle for anything less?

But what does this life look like? What is this fullness to which we are called through our baptism?

We are taught that the essential vocation of all baptized Christians is a life of holiness, modeled after Jesus. We are called to be "saints-in-progress." We are called to a life of love of God and others. We are invited to serve others within our respective communities and to be witnesses to the life,death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

If I am truly seeking to life the fullness of life daily, I need to ask myself: What face of Christ am I showing today to those I encounter?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Gospel Living

The opening verses of Chapter 4 of the Rule of Benedict (The Tools of Good Works) provides me with a pretty clear blue-print of what is necessary to be a Christian. This enterprise is about taking the Scripture teachings into my life and making them part of me.

When I was completing my Masters in Theology, I mentioned in one of my Comps questions that part of living monastic life for a number of years is that eventually the psalms and scripture passages that we pray seep into our bones. Someone asked me to elaborate on this idea at the time but I could not adequately put into words the mystery of how this happens in our daily prayer. I truly do believe that over the years we do eventually become a living scripture of sorts.

I do realize though that this is a process...it does not happen overnight or in a few years. It is a lifelong process. It is my personal goal.

May I remain open to God's word speaking within me.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

The Good of the Whole

In the monastery no one is to follow his own heart's desire, nor shall anyone presume to contend with his abbot defiantly, or outside the monastery. RB80.3.8-9

I am a very creative person and generally have tons of ideas (not all necessarily well thought out). For the most part I am willing to share my ideas and opinions with whomever will listen.

There is a danger, though of becoming too attached to my plans, ideas and proposals. Sometimes my plans start to get confused with my identity. When I become so closely identified with my ideas and plans that a question about a concept starts sounding like a personal attack, I need to step back and assess my connection with my project.

Is it the idea that is being questioned or is it my identity? Can I offer my thoughts to the group then release them for all to evaluate?

When I start being too identified with my role, my task or my ideas, it is a good time to evaluate my motivations.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Seeking Advice of All

The reason why we have said all should be called for counsel is that the Lord often reveals what is better to the younger. RB80.3.3

It seems counter-intuitive to seek the advice of the young among us especially in very important matters. Yet, that is exactly what Benedict is suggesting. Benedict recommends seeking input for all...but why?

The explicit answer Benedict provides is that the Lord often reveals what is better to the younger. Here we are reminded of the stories of Samuel, Daniel, David and Solomon. All of whom were known to be quite young and not a very likely choice for wisdom when God chose them to lead the Israelite community in different ways.

There is also a more practical reason for consulting the young. While our elders provide us with the wisdom of experience, the young can often ask the tough, incisive questions which will take us into the future. The young are often unafraid of change and trying things a new way to make carry the vision and mission of the group into the future. They often have the energy we need to implement changes.

May we never be afraid of listening to the wisdom of the young.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leading To Growth

...and while helping others to amend by his warnings, he achieves the amendment of his own faults. RB80.2.40

Benedict invites those in leadership to remember that there is a responsibility to help others avoid sin and to also amend his own faults. This is a special aspect to leadership--being responsible for own actions yet also assuring that the example provided is one of growth and good behavior.

Being the oldest in our family by quite a few years (15 year span from oldest to youngest), I was provided with multiple opportunities daily to provide modeling and example to my brother and sister. Growing up, I hated this role. It always made me feel like I was on display and that my behavior might come back to haunt me some day. During a recent visit with my family, I realized that although I was an example of sorts for the younger ones, it was often more of the subtle interactions which have really impacted others in my family. It is healing to be able to see this in retrospect.

We are created to live in community (all different kinds of communities). We are called to be examples and teachers to one another.

What kind of example am I providing today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Expecting More

More is always expected from those who possess more (more wealth, more skill, more strength, more talent). This precept is the basic message of today's reading from the Rule of St. Benedict. The leader, who is naturally considered to possess more wisdom and virtue, is expected to be an example of how the monastic life is to be fulfilled; how to do this Christian living graciously.

I have never been the prioress but I have been in positions of leadership--teacher, mentor, supervisor, elder sister. Someone once told me that I am always an example for others. I can choose to be an example of good or I can model poor behavior. What kind of example I am will always be my choice but ultimately I will be one type of role model or another.

This can be a sobering thought since often I can desire to live life in a vacuum...live a life that does not impact others. Actually, none of us has that luxury because through our lived example we can influence toward the good or toward ill.

I desire always to be an example for good.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Finding the Balance

He should not gloss over the sins of those who err, but cut them out while he can, as soon as they begin to sprout, remembering the fate of Eli, priest of Shiloh (1Samuel 2.11-4.18) RB80. 2.26

I am not a good gardener. I do not have the patience necessary to nurture plants to full maturity and to keep the area clean around them. My tendency is to pull everything that seems remotely like a weed from the very beginning. Kind of kill everything that is not pretty or useful at the beginning and hope for the best.

My overzealous attitude towards gardening can be extended to my own personal life. I tend to vacillate between scouring every blemish as soon as it appears (often to the point of exhaustion) or being so laissez-faire about things that my life can appear ultra-chaotic and disorganized. I need to find some point of balance; some spot where the ideal, the reality and the chaos can abide comfortably.

Benedict invites me to listen to God speaking in my life--in Scripture, in events, in relationships. I need to learn to fine tune my listening in all these avenues so that when God asks me to change or when internal warning signs appear, I will be able to recognize them and pay heed. This is the first step towards a more balanced life.

How am I listening today?


Sr. Catherine, OSB

Better in Good Works and in Humility

Only in this are we distinguished in his sight: if we are found better than others in good works and in humility. RB80.2.21


I have a secret desire to be special, to be the star, to be the center of the universe. Actually most people that know me well would say that it is a not so secret desire.

I am always looking for the tip that will give me that edge to a successful and distinguished life. That has pretty much been a lifetime goal since I do tend to be pretty driven and intense about life at times.

Benedict today provides me a glimpse at what really matters in life for God. I am to strive to be better than others at good works and in humility. Okay, I might be able to do the good works piece--I know all the right actions and I am pretty good at being nice to others and helping out when needed (even without being asked). That first part I think I might be able to handle for a while. BUT to do all of these things in humility?

I bet that means that I cannot announce every good deed that I perform. I can't be showy in my good actions. I need to remember not be do good works only when there is an audience around to praise me. Acting like a martyr in the midst of all this action probably negates humility also.

Today's question for me: How can I be better in both good works and humility today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leading by Example

...he must point out to them all that is good and holy more by example than by words, proposing the commandments of the Lord to receptive disciples with words, but demonstrating God's instructions to the stubborn and the dull by a living example. RB80.2.12

Many have heard that actions speak louder than words. This principle is as valid for children as for adults. It is always easier for me to understand a new concept by seeing it lived out than by hearing someone talk or teach about different ideas.

I need to remember that also when I am in a leadership position. Many times the actions and attitudes of a person are much more influential than the actual words used. Friends who have known me for a while will tell me what a gesture or action of mine helped them to do something a little differently. I've usually forgotten the action by now. It helps me to realize that I can be an agent for growth to others many times during the day. That is an awesome responsibility.

How am I helping others to grow today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Characteristic of Leadership

To be worthy of the task of governing a monastery, the abbot must always remember what his title signifies and act as a superior should. RB80.2.1

Who can be considered worthy of leading a group (coaching, teaching, parenting, supervising)? In the leadership positions I have held, I quickly came to realize that while leadership can be an honor there is also a responsibility and a great burden involved.

Here are some of the thoughts that can travel through my mind when I am in a leadership role:

• How will I respond when something goes majorly wrong (afterall, it will happen eventually)?
• How do I adjust my style to other's needs? I know that I can tend to be really intense and somewhat overbearing at times.
• How do I acknowledge everyones gifts appropriately?
• Did I communicate my expectations well?
• I need God's grace and wisdom in every situation.

Something I have learned over the years is that every project does not have to be all about ME and how good I will look at the end. Everything I do is actually for God's greater honor and glory and for the good of the whole group--not for my own pride and recognition. If I remember that it is actually a team effort that I am part of (greater than just Catherine), I can more easily give God thanks for successes and also learn to roll when things do not work out perfectly.

How am I leading others today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Am I a detestable community member?

Still loyal to the world by their actions…(RB80.1.7)


Benedict discovered that he not only had Cenobites and Anchorites, but also some detestable kinds of persons—Sarabites and Gyrovagues. These two kinds of persons are not interested in building up the community. The Sarabites want to do whatever makes them happy. They like to be considered a big wheel in the community , but they do slipshod work, accept no responsibility and are no-shows when real work is to be done. The Gyrovagues wander about looking busy, but they are only doing THEIR thing—going, going, going, sponging off of others, conning others into doing their work.


Am I still loyal to the world by my actions?


Sr. Veronica, OSB

What kind of community member am I?

There are clearly four kinds of monks. (RB80.1.5)


When Benedict decided to build a monastic community, he looked around at the persons who followed him and shook his head. Some were barbarians still carrying their knives and other weapons, Some, perhaps most, were illiterate; they could neither read nor write. Some were dirty and ragged, coming right off the roads. Some were strong and physical; others were frail and weak. But, he welcomed them all and drew up a Rule with “nothing harsh, nothing burdensome…a little strictness.”


It was not long before Benedict discovered he had four kinds of people in his monastery. He had Cenobites who walked in the presence of God day by day and served one another in building up the community. Am I a Cenobite who strives to live under a rule and a Prioress? who is aware of and serves the needs of others? Or am I an Anchorite who chooses to go off by myself and isolate myself from community building?


Who am I—Cenobite or Anchorite?


Sr. Veronica, OSB

It’s a Narrow Road

…nothing harsh, nothing burdensome…a little strictness…(Prologue 45-50)



I recall driving mountain roads in Colorado. The roads are narrow filled with curves, with steep grades, with unbelievable drop-offs, and with countless signs warning of curves, of steep grades, of damaged guard rails, of no passing, of falling rock, of speed limits.



These roads remind me of this “school of the Lord’s service,” that Benedict intends to establish. He tells us that traveling the monastic road will be difficult. It will have all the limitations that the mountain roads in Colorado have—curves, drop-offs, warning signs. If we keep our eyes on the road, on the goal: life with Christ, life in the kingdom, life-everlasting, “our hearts will overflow with the delight of love.”



The road may be narrow, but it is not harsh, nor burdensome, but does demand some discipline.



Sr. Veronica, OSB

Dwelling in the Tent

..we have asked the Lord who will dwell in his tent…(Prologue 39-44)


God wishes to dwell in the midst of his people. He does not wish just to communicate with his people periodically in speech, vision or dream, but wishes to abide with them every hour of the day. He gave instructions to Moses to build a tent where He could speak to Moses face to face, and where the people could see Him in a pillar of cloud, a pillar of fire. In and from the tent, God spoke to his people; he showed his holiness; he poured out his spirit to his people.


Benedict uses this tent image to show us that in the monastery we will be meeting this God face to face, He will abide with us day after day; He will show us his holiness; He will pour out his spirit upon us; it is He who will accompany us on this journey and provide the grace we need to persevere.


Will you dwell in the tent?


Sr. Veronica, OSB

Let the sand fall out…

…we must run and do now what will profit us forever. (Prologue 35-38)


We can’t loiter in the monastic life, we must run. We run to repent, led by the patience of God; we run to obey, guided by the instructions from God. We must run in this process of accepting that I am a sinner and am imperfect, and in accepting my sisters as they are with their sinfulness and imperfections. And we must run to the Holy Spirit asking Him to change my life, to transform me, to help me love myself and my sisters.


When we accept our own sinfulness, we cannot condemn anyone else; we are all imperfect. Sometimes we set ourselves up as gods who must cast out the sinners from the monastery. But a wise “abba” once reminded his flock that we carry our sins hidden behind our backs. It is as if we carried a bag of sand with a hole in it, and as we walked along the sand left a trail behind us. How could we cast out sinners from our midst, when we perhaps were the greatest sinners.


We must run to cast out our laziness, our likes and dislikes for this and that, our desire to change everyone else, but not myself. We must carry our bag of sand in front.


Sr. Veronica, OSB

Thoughts Matter

…dash these temptations against Christ. (Prologue 22-34)


Many of the desert monastics believed that the heart of the spiritual life lies in the understanding of thoughts and how to deal with them. Abba Anthony speaks of his trials in seeking encounters with God. Whenever he tried to pray, thoughts of wealth, honor, status, comfort kept creeping in. He decided he needed to train himself to notice his thoughts and then to redirect those thoughts by “dashing them against Christ.”
The desert monastics concluded that the heart of the spiritual life is the understanding of both thoughts and feelings and the wisdom of knowing how to let these thoughts and feelings lead us to Christ.
The practice of lectio divina, Scripture reading, helps us to wrestle with these thoughts and feelings and redirect them to Christ.


Sr. Veronica OSB

Avoid vicious talk and deceit

…let us set out on this way, with the Gospel for our guide…(Prologue 14-21)
The Desert Father, Abbot Poeman said, “The wickedness of people is hidden behind their back.” And, “Teach your mouth to say that which you have in your heart.”
It is easy for us to keep particular aspects of our life hidden. It is a temptation to be deceitful. It is always easy to speak one way and act in another. Vicious talk and deceit seem to come easy. Benedict warns us of these traits in ourselves as we set out on our journey in monastic life. But, he says if we wish to keep our tongues from vicious talk and deceit, monastic tradition offers us two practices—silence and discernment of thoughts that can help.
Since we are always learning and always beginning anew in monastic life, Benedict encourages us to practice these traditions—silence and discernment of thoughts. And furthermore, to pray, to place ourselves in the presence of God, so as to achieve that inner peace and quiet we strive for.

Sr. Veronica OSB

Fiddling One's Energy

It is high time to arise from sleep. (Prologue. 8.14)

When I was in college, one summer several of us juniors and seniors lived in a house in the city. A single mother with 3 teenage daughters lived across the street. The mother and the two older girls worked every day, but Teresa the youngest was left at home alone. Teresa thought it was great fun hanging out with us college girls. Most of us enjoyed having Teresa around; she was always happy and always working on some project, but one of our classmates could not tolerate Teresa. One day she told her to go home because she was always causing her to sin—in other words, Teresa was bugging her and she told her that if she didn’t come around, she would probably never have to go to confession. We were all pretty upset about the situation. But, Teresa did not stop her visits.

Our classmate was spending all her energy resenting and letting Teresa bug her.

Benedict tells us to wake up, to open our eyes and ears, to listen to the voice of the Lord speaking to us through every person and situation, to spend our energy n learning to live the monastic life. We fiddle our energy away by trying to solve all the problems in the community and trying to handle all the problem people in the community. It is so much easier to fiddle our energy on others rather than fight my own self so that I may love my sisters and my community just as it is.

Let us fiddle our energies to lectio and prayer time.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Obedience & Prayer

Listen carefully…to the master’s instructions…(Prologue to Holy Rule. 1.8)

In the opening words of the Holy Rule, St. Benedict invites us to enter into a dynamic way of relating to God and to one another. The hallmarks of this dynamic method are obedience (listening) and prayer. This is the cost of growing in spiritual freedom—giving up our personal freedom. What an incongruity in a society that makes a god of personal freedom!

But Benedict’s invitation is an invitation to more personal freedom. If we allow ourselves to be formed by the wisdom of Scripture, by the wisdom of tradition and by the wisdom of our monastic ancestors, we can learn our own will, we can express our own will and we can learn to give up our own will.

Let us arm ourselves with these strong and noble weapons—obedience (listening) and prayer—and enter into this dynamic way of relating to God and to one another.

Sr. Veronica, OSB

Only Beginners

Are you hastening toward your heavenly home? Then with Christ's help, keep this little rule we have written for beginners. RB80.73.8

Just when I am getting to the end and can see the finish line, Benedict says that this is only the beginning. He has to be kidding!!! I have just finished going through the Rule for the third time this year--surely I'm getting close to the end.

But no, as I look toward tomorrow I know that our community will start reading from the Prologue, yet again, as we do every four months. This can seem very discouraging--doing it over and over and over again with no end in sight. It can also provide me with insight and hope for the future. I never have to worry about getting it just right--I just have to be concerned with doing the next thing. That makes life simpler.

As we begin a new reading of the Rule, may I always remember God's call to listen, be open to all and to share God's love.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Prefering Nothing to Christ

Let them prefer nothing whatever to Christ, and may he bring us all together to everlasting life. RB80.72.11-12

I have a bookmark that has this quote from the Rule in Spanish. It is probably my favorite bookmark....not because of its artistic beauty but because it reminds me what is most important in life. Most important in my life, and in the life of any Christian.

I must remember to put on Christ daily and to use Christ as the model of who I am today and who I am called to be (my true identity). If I follow Christ with all the passion that exists within me, Christ will bring everyone to everlasting life (our end goal).

This is not always easy. I have to remember to choose Christ daily, sometimes hourly. I need to be reminded of my initial commitment from time to time. But, ultimately, I do want to follow Christ and be brought to everlasting life.

How am I showing that Christ is my true goal today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Defending Another

Every precaution must be taken that one monk does not presume in any circumstance to defend another in the monastery or to be his champion, even if they are related by the closest ties of blood. RB80.69.1-2

I have always been a person with a strong sense of justice and right. Even in grade school I would regularly be found trying to defend those who seemed to be marginalized. Now Benedict seems to be calling me not to defend others, even those closest to me. Maybe, I am being invited to view community and justice in a new way.

Division and factions can be the enemy of any cohesive group. By taking sides and fiercely defending my own views, cause or faction, I can unthinkingly destroy unity and community spirit. By forcing people to choose sides, I can cause a separation from leadership and our true goals; sometimes causing irreparable damage. In my quest for right, I might destroy community.

I need to look at my motivation in embracing a certain thought or defending a person or idea. Is it for the good of the entire group? May I always be able to see beyond my own perspective to the good of the group.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Asked To Do the Impossible

A brother may be assigned a burdensome task or something he cannot do. If so, he should, with complete gentleness and obedience, accept the order given him. Should he see, however, that the weight of the burden is altogether too much for his strength, then he should choose the appropriate moment and explain patiently to his superior the reasons why he cannot perform the task. RB80.68.1-2

When I first entered community, I came equipped with a list of things that I would absolutely never consider doing. It was meant to scare people away from asking me to do something that might push me out of my comfort zone...even just a little. Glad to say, in the past 25 years I have discovered that everything on my impossible-for-me-to do list was actually quite doable.

That being said, Benedict does realize that there might be an occasion or two when a person is being asked to do something that is quite literally impossible for them. Benedict recommends that the person take the assignment and consider carefully whether the request is impossible or merely uncomfortable. If the task is truly impossible, then I need to go back and explain why it is impossible. Even then I might still be asked to perform the task but at least I know that I tried my best to explain my hesitancy.

There are times in life when I need to trust that someone might see a trait or skill which might be hidden from me. Manytimes the thing that I would never have chosen, mostly because it is a little uncomfortable, has turned out to be a great learning tool for me--learning about myself, learning about life in general. These can be teachable moments.

May I trust God daily to lead me even beyond my own self-imposed boundaries.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Blessing at Departing

Brothers sent on a journey will ask the abbot and community to pray for them. All absent brothers should always be remembered at the closing prayer of the Work of God. RB80.67.1-2

On leaving on any kind of trip, our Sisters have the custom of asking the Prioress to pray for them before departing. On leaving our property, even for a short errand, it is also our tradition to pray a traveler's prayer asking for a safe journey.

These practices might seem strange especially since in today's world it is not uncommon to be going a variety of places just in one day. I have always found it comforting to know that I am asking God's protection everytime I leave home--this is a practice that I grew up with at home also.

These prayers help to remind me that God is with me everywhere I go (I am not alone at any point of my journey.) It also reminds me that my community and the prayers of my community follow me throughout the day--again I am not alone. I am part of something much larger than myself. This practice can also prepare me to look for Christ in the many encounters of my day, since all who cross my path are to be greeted as Christ.

I am grateful for the various ways in which I can recall my relationship to God through these prayers.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Protecting Your Soul

The monastery should, if possible, be so constructed that within it all necessities, such as water, mill and garden are contained, and the various crafts are practiced. Then there will be no need for the monks to roam outside, because this is not at all good for their souls. RB80.66.7-8

Benedict envisioned a monastic complex which would be self-sufficient. There would be little need, if any, to leave the property to take care of the needs of the members. That probably was reasonable in the 6th century but is highly improbable in the 21st.

So...how does a person maintain the focus of monastic values even as they navigate the daily challenges of life in our world. Part of the answer, I think, is in remembering that we are meant to be in the world but not necessarily of the world. We are to function within the parameters of society but also show a different response to the events around us. We are called to be radically counter-cultural.

• Where society might encourage us to value a person for their productivity, I am to take time to listen to the old and the young, the sick, the weak, the poor....and value their insights.
• When my natural tendency is to rush from one thing to the next, I am to be mindful of the world around me and God's love in each moment. I need to take time to listen and be present to life.
• When I am encouraged to think only of #1 and to be competitive in all aspects of life, Benedict encourages me to be #1 only in showing respect and love to others.

How am I called to be present to the world but not of the world today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leadership--A Team Approach

Chapter 65 of the Rule of Benedict provides a model for what Benedict envisioned as a "team" approach to leadership. Being a realist Benedict understood that it was impractical and probably impossible for one person to carry the burden of leadership for any group. He, therefore, set up provisions for deans and others who would assist in leadership.

These assistants are not to be considered mini-tyrants but rather are charged with following through on the superiors vision for the group. They are entrusted with implementing a piece of the bigger picture and assisting the group in achieving its goals. These are the trusted confidantes of the leader.

Similar to parents, who lead their families as a unit--of similar mind and heart, those assisting the superior need to follow through on orders given and fulfil the leaders plan a much as possible.

How am I helping to further the goals of community today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Building Strong Relationships

Let him strive to be loved rather than feared. (RB80.64.15)

Many have heard the old saying, "You can draw more flies with honey than with vinegar." This short sentence from the Rule on the election of leadership seems to take a similar view.

It is much easier for me to follow the advice of someone that I consider to be on my side, looking out for my interest rather than a tyrant or dictator. The trust that has been developed in the past serves as a strong backdrop for current relationships.

I have been fortunate to have leaders that I treasure as dear friends and that I truly respect. This relationship makes it much easier to accept correction from them--because I sense that they love me and care about me also.

When I find myself in leadership as either a teacher, a team leader, or a supervisor I strive to build a strong relationship with my colleagues first, then work from their. I try to remember what a treasure their trust is to me and to be worthy of that honor.

Sr. Catherine, OSB

Leading By Word and Deed

Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria for choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank. (RB80.64.2)

Parents are often criticized for leading their families with a "Do as I say, not as I do" attitude. It seems more than a little incongruous for a leader to say one thing and then act in a manner opposite to the teaching. Children tend to be sponges who absorb their environment much more than follow straight teaching--even when it seems that they are not really paying attention.

I am a good example of this theory. Growing up, I made it a point to appear as though I really did not care about anything and that I was not paying attention to life around me. Secretly, though, I was assessing everything I saw and passing judgement on all. I was also learning by watching everything carefully.

The things that stick out in my mind the most are the examples of lived faith that I saw in our household. Although we did not speak about religion, church and belief much growing up, I watched my parents and grandparents care deeply for the needy and the stranger. I saw multiple examples of compassion as my parents took on various local and world wide causes--either through awareness raising or through actual charitable works. I was fortunate to get a world wide education through my travels with my grandparents as a child.

All of these things became part of my own lived faith as I matured and have served me well in ministry and in life. We cannot underestimate the value of lived faith as an example for others.

How am I reflecting God's love today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB

First in Respect

They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other (Rom. 12:10)

Benedict uses this short verse from Paul's letter to the Romans to emphasize the attitude that should exist within the community--between members. Benedict knew that many are competitive by nature and strive to be first...so why not try to be the first at showing others respect (in treating them as Christ).

That is an appealing concept to me since I love being noticed for my accomplishments and am always looking for new ways to excel in life. How about trying to win the gold medal in showing care and respect to others? That sounds live a goal to strive for--one that would take daily practice and lots of work.

What are some ways in which I can show respect to my friends, teammates, coworkers today?

Sr. Catherine, OSB